Paradise Heaven
by clemhood1437
Summary: When Helena, got into the life of the doctors of the Seattle Grace General Hospital, everything is gonna be different. (I know, summary sucks, the story will be much better) OC starring Abigail Spencer / Megan Hunt will be portraited by the actress who played her first, Bridget Regan
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"The fugitive is running in direction corner 21th Avenue," the voice spoke in her earpiece. "If you hurry, you'll catch him."

"Roger," the police officer said.

She lengthened his stride. Her beige trench coat was twirling around her like a cape. Her hair was flying around her head in a dark black cloud. She was currently running after a suspect in the streets of Seattle. The men had been caught selling stolen pieces of art in a storage shed and he made off. Turning in the 21st Avenue, she catches a look on her colleague in the unmarked vehicle on the other side of the street.

"Do you see anything?" she asked.

"Nothing, he must have found another way out," Peter Jackson replied.

"Shit !" Helena exclaimed.

She crossed the street and sat down next to her partner in the car.

"Don't worry, it can happen to anybody," Peter chuckled as he saw her defeated look.

"Yes, but that's not a reason for accepting losing a suspect," the black haired girl responded.

"Come on, you're only here like what, 9 months? Girl, your 25, they can't expect you to be perfectly prepared for the job. Let's get back to the office," the other one replied smiling. "The day's not over."

"Sure."

Helena was not the kind of person who abandoned so easily. She hated it to admit herself defeated. Being the last child of a brotherhood of 6 had made her get used to the constant pressure to be better than her older siblings. That, added to the fact that she was the only one of the Shepherd children not having followed medical studies. She was the little black swan of the family. Actually, she had started her studies at the Columbia University in the state of New York. But she broke the studies up in her third year of internship, after losing an important patient. That's one reason why she moved off from her family. The other one is that they didn't always accept other choices that she mad, like her new job or her boyfriend. For the entire family, being a cop wasn't the most gratifying job, maybe because the cops didn't attend to do anything as their father was murdered. And for what concerned her boyfriend, Ryan wasn't the kind of guy to be considered as a good guy. In fact, Helena had met him when he's arrested for dealing a few years ago. After he spent 6 months in jail, they decided to move in together. Since then, Helena never had spoken to any of her siblings anymore. Her brother had moved to New York with his wife years ago and he hadn't kept the contact. All her sisters were living at the four corners of the land with their families, exercising great jobs, the one the profession off psychiatrist, another one was a renown gynecologist, there also was a brilliant neurosurgeon in Los Angeles and the last one was an excellent pediatric doctor in Boston. All her siblings had a family, a good paying job and a wealthy life and Helena was jealous of that. She wished, she had a perfect life and the perfect family. But apparently, she wasn't meant to.

* * *

Later in the evening, Helena came back to her flat. Ryan was slumped on the couch in front of the TV, surrounded by a pile of empty cans beer and pizza papers. He was loudly shouting at the football players in the television.

"Hey you," Helena greeted him.

He didn't respond.

"How was your day? Have you send more job appliances ?" she continued.

A groan makes her understand that he hadn't.

"Did you at least go food shopping ?!" the woman added slightly pissed of.

This time Ryan stood up.

"Do you think I've nothing more important to do than go fill the fridge ?" he said slowly /walking/ toward her.

She crossed her arms over her chest, frowning her brows.

"What do you otherwise have to do? Is it so difficult for Mister to go the stairs down and to buy a few things at the street's end? I am the one who does everything in this damn house! I am the one with the job! What are you doing all day?!

"Shut up woman !" Ryan suddenly shouted making Helena startle.

He slowly approaches her, making her step back against the wall. She wasn't scared of him. With the time, she got used to his impulsive character. It became usual that he got annoyed for such little futile things as the household or the groceries. In the last few weeks, he got much more aggressive, probably because he lost his job in the little shop he was working in. Since then, he spent his entire day on the couch, doing nothing but watch TV, only getting out to buy some beer and pizza. He became much more violent with Helena. When he first raised the hand to her, Helena thought that it was just a rough period and that it would be over quickly. But when it never stopped, the woman had thought about leaving him.

"Don't talk to me like that," Helena said. "I am the one paying the rent for this flat. If I want I can kick you out."

"Oh, I don't think you are gonna make that," Ryan replied. "You know why because you love me."

Helena had her back against the wall and couldn't move. Ryan put his hand and each side of her face.

"I'm not scared of you Ryan," the woman said with a little shake in her voice.

A smirk appeared on Ryan's lips. He leans forward to her and tries to kiss her but she pushed him away.

"You think I am in the mood to kiss you, but you are dreaming my dear."

"You cant ward me off !" Ryan shouted. "I was sitting the entire day alone, I have needs."

And he threw his arms from behind around her and started to nibble her neck. Helena struggled to get free.

"Let me go!" she protests.

He violently slapped her sending her to the ground. He than smoothless grab her by the hair, raising her head. He crouch to be at her level.

"You can't push me back indefinitely."

Ryan pushes her back and she fell with the face on the corner of the coffee table. When she bounced back, her face was covered in blood that leak out of her brow line and her she had a bad cut on her lip.

"You deserve that," Ryan stated.

And he let himself fall back on the couch, switching off the TV. Helena stood in the middle of the room, still in a state of shock. How could he dare treat her like that? She could let him continue to deal with her like that. It was not the first time that he was getting violent but now, she had decided that it would be the last time. Helena headed for her room, grabbing a bag on the way. She put a few changes out of her dresser, as well as a few personal items and stuffed them in her bag. She also took some liquid and important papers before putting on her jacket and her shoes and heading back to the living room.

"Where do you think you are going ?" Ryan said as he saw her.

"I'm leaving," she said opening the house door.

Ryan stood up, but before he could have reached her, she was gone. Helena run down the steps worried that he could decide to follow her. When she arrived at the fresh air, she let out a sigh. It took her nearly six months to get away from him. She digs into her bag to find her car keys but not successfully. In her hurry, she must have forgotten the keys upstairs. Helena slowly turned to look up at the flat windows. The reflection of the TV still glow. Ryan was still up there. There was no way she was risking to get back up. She seeks in her pocket around to find her train pass. Without looking back, she moved toward the closest underground station and jumped on the first train with no clue where she was heading to. The ream was nearly empty, with the exception of a lonely homeless and a stylish dressed old couple who was sending her weird looks. One must say that she wasn't looking very well. With her swollen lip and her bloody forehead, she must look like a wounded animal. When the glances became too annoying, Helena decided to get out. She doesn't remind herself when she was here for the last time. Everything looks so unknown. Helena headed to an open bar. The last few clients were either half drunk or not paying attention to her. She took a seat at the bar. The bartender, a big and huge man, gave her an apologetic look.

"Can I help you with something?" he asked kindly.

"Where is the bathroom please?" Helena asked quietly.

The bartender pointed at the left side of the countertop.

"Thanks," she acknowledged.

Once in the closed room, she washed her face with cold water. The cut on her lip was nearly closed but her lip was still swollen. The wound on her forehead, however, doesn't look so good. It wasn't bleeding anymore, but she may need some stitches. She pulls up her messy hair into a high ponytail and changed her shirt that was blood stained. She then looked for her mobile phone but after not finding it, she assumed it must have stayed at the flat. Sighing with despair, she gets back to the main room. At the bar, the bartender was busily talking with a young woman with long chestnut hair and bright eyes that must be a few years older than her. She sat down on a high chair a few seats away.

"Do you want to drink something?" the bartender asked her.

"Yes, a tequila please," the black haired answered. "And…," she started.

"Joe," the bartender continued.

"Ok then, Jo. Can I have some ice from my head?" she asked pointing at her wound.

"Sure," Joe replied. "But wouldn't it be better if you go to the hospital and get yourself some stitches?"

Helena thought about that proposition. Going to the hospital would mean that she would be registered and that will lead Ryan to her. And over that, she hated hospitals.

"No, I think I'll be ok."

"Ok, but let at least my friend over there examine you," Joe replied pointing at the girl he was talking to. "She is a surgeon and maybe she can do something."

Helena sighed.

"Ok," she gives up.

"Meredith," he called. "Need your help over here."

The woman gets closer. Joe walked away to another client.

"Oh my god, what happens to you?" she asked worriedly.

"I...fell in the stairs," Helena replied not sure if she was sounding convincing.

"Let me give a look," the called Meredith told her. "Uhmm, it's clean, but it's still open, maybe it's really better if I get you to the hospital."

Helena seemed embarrassed.

"The thing is… ok, maybe I didn't fall down the stairs and I just have flown from my abusive and violent boyfriend who is currently squatting my flat," she said. "And the reason why I don't want to get to the hospital is that I'll be registered and that he would find me after that."

Meredith remained silent for a moment before pushing her glass of tequila toward Helena.

"Drink, you need it more than me."

Helena gave her a sad smile before swallowing the burning liquid down.

"Now, what suggest is that you come with me, I'll bring you to my house, where I can put a plaster on your wound, you'll sleep their and tomorrow, we'll get to the hospital and check you in as a Jane Doe."

"You would bring a complete stranger to your house in the middle of the night?" Helena asked astounded.

"I'm used to came to the assistance of people who needs help," Meredith replied. "Professional deformation I guess."

The black haired thought a moment about it before saying:

"Ok, let's go then."

They both paid their consumption to Jo before leaving the bar. Once they were in Meredith's car, the brown-haired asked.

"By the way, I don't even know your name."

"Helena," the dark-haired replied. "Helena Shepherd."


	2. Chapter 2

**So, here is the second chapter of the story, I must stay I had** **no idea I would ever write that much.**

 **Please review if you like (and also if you have question, request and/or ideas)**

* * *

Chapter 2  
It was the sensation of something wet and scratchy on her face that woke Helena up in the morning. When she opened her eyes, she finds herself face to face with a pretty hairy face.  
"Hey, you !" she said amazed to the dog. "Your a pretty one, you know that"  
She grabbed his neckband.  
"Doc," she reads on the backside of the medallion. "That suits you!"  
Helena decided that it was time for her to stands up. As she straightens, she directly falls back seated on the couch where she was previously sleeping on. Her head was hurting a lot and she felt dizzy. She took the time to look around her then when she arrived here with Meredith yesterday, it was dark and she hadn't been shown around. It was a nice looking house, a bit messy maybe but so that the mess give a comfortable atmosphere to the space. The room bathed in bright light due to the shiny sun outside. From there were she sat, she could see a big staircase bringing to the upper floor and a hallway left to it led to the kitchen.  
The slam of a door upstairs made her stop her observation. Someone was going down the stairs. Soon, an unkempt and tired Meredith appeared at the bottom of the steps.  
"Hey you," she greeted her. "You sleep well? You've met Doc as I see."  
Saying that she patted the dog.  
"Quite unusual, he usually dislikes completely strangers," the brown-haired continued.  
"Think I must be lucky then," Helena smiled.  
"How is your head?" Meredith asked taking off the plaster on Helena's forehead.  
"It's still hurting," the other one said.  
"Well, then I'll bring you to the hospital when I'll be heading to work."  
"Fine," Helena sighed. "Can I just use the bathroom for a moment?"  
"Sure, it's the last door to the right upstairs. Towels are on the sideboard under the sink."  
"Thanks!"  
Helena grabbed her bag and walk the few steps upstairs to the designated area. She stripped down and jumped under the shower. The warm water was slowly eased her aching muscles. It felt so good. She couldn't remember when she had a long warm shower for the last time. Usually, when she was at home and she used the bathroom for too long, Ryan was turning off the warm water to make her come out. But like all the other things, she got used to it. Her thoughts stroll to Meredith. The girl was really kind to let her stay at her home. She was pretty and smart, she was a surgeon and she probably has a boyfriend. In other circumstances, Meredith would be the type of person that Helena hates. But her instinct makes her feel like Meredith was a good person.  
After a long shower, she gets out and grabs a towel from the sideboard and roll it around her. On the way, she hushed a look on herself in the mirror. Her arms, shoulders and her back were covered with some little scars and bruises, the result of her destroying relationship with Ryan that she will probably keep for some time still. She was thereby to let fall the towel to dress as the bathroom door suddenly opens. Damn, how could she have forgotten to lock the door? She retains the towel. In front of her was standing a young man with long-mid chestnut hair and blue eyes. He was watching her from head to foot with opened mouth.  
"Sorry," he then quickly said clutching a hand in front of his eyes. "Who...who are you?"  
"Helena," the girl replied. "I stayed here for the night."  
"Oh," the boy added unsure what to say. "Nice to meet you, I guess. I'm George."  
"Are you Meredith's boyfriend?" the black haired girl asked.  
She saw that the boy was violently blushing.  
"No….no… I'm her….her roommate," he sputtered.  
A small deafening silent settled between the two. Helena was embarrassed watching around not sure what to do. She was freezing and she doesn't know how to signified to George that she wants to dress up. After a few seconds, George noticed the discomfort. He walks out of the bathroom and walks straight to Meredith's room. The girl was sitting in her bed with Christina. She must've arrived not long before him then she was still wearing her gloves, her scarf, and her hat. The two were actively discussing:  
"I tell you, she must be his sister," Meredith was arguing. "That can not be a coincidence that two people with the name Shepherd are living in the same city without knowing each other."  
"Do you think I know all the people wearing the name Yang in Seattle?" Christina replied. "I think Derek would have told you if he had a sister in town."  
"What are you two talking about?" George asked.  
Both girls rotated to the boy standing at the door." And who is half naked in the bathroom.  
"This is Helena," Meredith started. "I found her at Joe's yesterday, she was hurt and she had nowhere to go so I bring her here and she spends the night on the couch."  
"And what has all that to do with Derek?" George asked.  
"Her name is Helena Shepherd," Christina explained.  
George opened his mouth.  
"Shepherd? Like in Derek Shepherd?"  
"Do you know many Shepherd's ?" Christina responded sarcastically. "It must be his sister. You should go ask him Mer'."  
"You forgot, I don't speak to him anymore," the brown-haired replied.  
The noise of an opening door makes them stop talking. Helena appeared in front of the room. She was wearing a pair of tight black jeans, a blue oversized pullover and a pair of flashy orange Converses.  
"Helena, this is my friend Christina," Meredith introduced. "And you already met George."  
"Nice to meet you !" she said smiling. "I was heading to the kitchen, can you just tell me where I can find some coffee?"  
"Izzie must be downstairs, you can ask her," Meredith announced.  
As she disappeared into the hallway, George and Christina turned back to Meredith:  
"She even speaks like him," George exclaimed. "She has the same hair, the same features, only their eyes are different. You can't deny that there is a resemblance."  
Meredith thought about it.  
"I'll try to ask him today."

* * *

A bit later, everybody was sitting in Meredith's car. It was silent. Helena could feel the gazes of Christina, Meredith, and George on her.  
"Is everything fine?" she suddenly asked slightly annoyed.  
Everybody looked back on the road.  
"Yes totally fine," Meredith added.  
"So, what specialization do you want to choose in surgery?" the black haired girl asked to end up the silence.  
"I'm totally into cardio," Christina said.  
"Her boyfriend is the chief of the cardiology unit at the hospital," Izzie explained.  
Christina brutally turned back to Izzie.  
"Do you have to tell anybody about my love life!" she said. "Izzie's boyfriend is also in the cardiology unit, you know. He's a patient."  
"And what is the problem with that?" Izzie replied. "By the way, he's not my boyfriend. I'm with Alex."  
"Oh, I don't know, maybe because it is totally forbidden and against the freaking deontology," Christina.  
"And going out with your attending is ethical for you?" the blond asked sarcastically, not realizing what she was getting them into.  
The three other became suddenly silent, what caught the attention of Helena.  
"Sorry Mer'," Izzie apologized. "I didn't mean to."  
Helena throws Meredith a questioning look.  
"She said that because I was also dating one of my attendings," Meredith explained.  
Helena stopped at the formulation "was dating" but she didn't take up sure that it was quite personal and that Meredith probably didn't want to talk with a half-stranger about it. The rest of the way nobody spoke.

When they finally arrived at the hospital, Meredith took Helena to the admission service while Christina, Izzie, and George joined their dressing room. Soon, Helena was settled in a shared room with a sympathetic man named Chuck. Meredith came back with a round and petite and skinny woman with an exaggerated smile paint on her face.  
"This is Dr. Sydney Heron," Meredith introduced the woman. "She's my current resident."  
"Hi," Dr. Heron said. "I just need your name to fill the file before I let my intern take care of you."  
Helena started to get panic. She throws a desperate look to Meredith.  
"Her name is Carina Smith," the brown-haired hasty added.  
Heron turned around to her intern.  
"She's able to answer the question by herself, don't you think!" she retorted with a wide big smile.  
Meredith nodded and Helena sends her an apologetic glance.  
"Yes, I'm Carina Smith," the dark-haired repeated.  
Dr. Heron nodded.  
"Fine," the petite woman replied and she walked out of the room.  
"Thanks, you just saved me," Helena confessed.  
"Your welcome."  
Meredith puts out a suture kit to stitch her wound.  
"Do you want some painkillers?" she asked before starting to work.  
"No, I'll be fine," Helena said sitting straight.

* * *

A few minutes later, when Meredith had stitched her up, a group of intern walked in the room, led by a tall black man with glasses. Helena recognizes Christina, George, and Izzie among them. The other guy was a nice looking doctor with short hair and square jaw. They walked past her bed to stop next to the other patient.  
"Grey, care to join us?" the black men asked.  
"I've to go," Meredith apologizes.  
She walked to the other bed. Helena lends an ear to hear the presentation of the case.  
"Chucky Eaton, 54, has stage 3B non-small-cell lung cancer with possible invasion of the pleura and a history of COPD. He's had extensive chemo-radiotherapy with minimal regression of the tumor. He's been admitted for radical en-bloc resection," Meredith stated.  
During her speech, Helena couldn't help but notice the gases that Christina was exchanging with the men with the glasses. Maybe he was her attending boyfriend. In that time, Chucky had spoken.  
"I was a smoker, the oncologist… he explained that I have a 25% chance to survive the surgery," he said with a weak voice.  
"Well, unfortunately, that's about right," the presumed attending replied. "If you should elect not to proceed, we can make you more comfortable."  
"Will all due respect er… there's no way that you can make a man dying a slow death comfortable. I'll roll the dice," Chucky added.  
The attending nodded and all the surgeon left the room. The men next to her were dying. It was horrible. That was a part of the job of a surgeon that she didn't miss at all. The part where you tell the patient that there is only a minimal chance to survive.

* * *

After presenting the Jake Burton case, that guy with the craniodiaphyseal dysplasia, Meredith was at the desk updating some files at the data pad when a complete stranger suddenly came from behind.  
"Invasive non-small-cell with a history of COPD? That guy is pretty much a goner," he said pointing at the datapad.  
Meredith turned around. He was tall, strong, he had nice looking blonde-grey hair and piercing blue eyes. He was quite awesome.  
"Sensitivity. I like that in a stranger," she looked back on her files. Are you new here ?"  
"Visiting," the stranger replied. "Confounded by all the rain and it's only my first day in town."  
"You get used to it, "Meredith said before walking a few steps.  
"Makes me want to stay in bed all day," he continues, following her.  
"We just met and you're talking about bed," the young woman chuckled. "Not very subtle."  
"Subtle's never been my strong suit," the stranger added.  
Addison appeared in a corner but when she saw the two she stopped.  
"So…," the handsome man pursued. "Do you go out with co-workers?"  
Meredith laughed.  
"I...make a role not to."  
"Then I am so glad that I don't work here."  
"Are you hitting on me?" the woman smiled. "In a hospital?"  
"Would that be wrong?" the stranger asked innocently.  
"Meredith," she introduced herself stretching out her hand.  
The man was about to shook it as Derek suddenly appeared out of nowhere and violently struck him in the face. The stranger fell to the ground, holding his face and Derek moaned holding his hand.  
"What the hell was that ?!" Meredith asked shocked.  
"That was Mark," the black haired doctor sighed.

* * *

Hearing the commotion outside, Helena suddenly raised up and jumped out of her bed. She headed in the direction of where the noise was coming. Arriving in the open space, her eyes widened from the picture she had in front of her.  
"Derek?!" she shouted.  
Everybody turns around to face her.  
"Leny?" her brother screamed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hope, you'll enjoy the third chapter. I know that I created that fanfiction 3 days ago and that there are already 3 chapters, but right now I have the inspiration for that. I'm not sure if I can continue to post one chapter a day.**

 **In any case I really hope you enjoy reading.**

 **Please review**

* * *

Chapter 3

"Leny?!" Derek screamed.

"So you know each other," Meredith asked but it sounds more like a statement than a question.

"Actually yes," Leny said. "He's my older brother."

Mark was slowly getting up. He had a large bleeding cut on the side of his head.

"Froggy, is that you?" he asked.

"King Kong!" Helena screamed running toward him and jumping into his arms.

Mark easily catches her up and make her fly around. Everybody was watching at the two. Derek stands there completely astounded. He barely recognized his own sister. She was a grown-up woman now. When he last saw her she was just 20 and she was definitely leaving the home after having broken up her studies and had a big argument with her mother and sisters about her future life. But she looked happy. Well, maybe not with this bad cut on her forehead or her swollen lip. He reminds himself to ask her about it later.

In that time Addison had crossed the open space and had embraced Helena.

"It's good to see you, honey," the red-haired woman said smiling.

Helena greeted her back.

"Addy, I missed you," she said. "How is it possible that we met all together in Seattle after all those years?"

Addison throws a glance alternately at her husband and Mark.

"Let just say a lot of things happened in this five years," Mark said.

Richard Webber appeared out of from a boardroom.

"What are you all waiting for?! he shouted to the small crowd who had formed around them, pulled together by the noise. "Get back to work!"

The few people scattered. Only Helena, Derek, Mark, Addison and Meredith were still standing in front of the chief.

"Addison, Shepherd," Richard called. "For a word, now!"

Both followed him back to the boardroom. Helena turned back to Mark.

"You need stitches," she said. "Meredith, can you…"

"Sure," the brown-haired said, still stunned by the news.

* * *

"Punching out people on my surgical floor! My head of neurosurgery, punching out people on my surgical floor!" Richard was shouting at Derek.

"Put the ice pack on your hand," Addison advised.

"My hand is fine," Derek protest.

"Put the damn ice on your $2 million-a-year hand!" Richard screamed. "Now… would someone tell me what the hell happened?"

Derek looked up at his wife.

"That was Mark," Addison sighed.

"Who is Mark?" the chief questioned.

"He and Derek used to work together uín New York," Addison explained. "And...they were...we were all...close friends. Until...Derek found us in bed together."

Richard watched down to Derek.

"You put you weigh behind it?"

"Yes, sir," the neurosurgeon nodded.

"Well, all right then," Richard added leaving.

Derek watched him back. Addison let out a big sigh and took her head in her hands.

"What the hell is he doing here?" her husband asked.

"I have no idea."

* * *

Mark was taking care of by Meredith in a separate room. Helena sat on a stretcher.

"Derek and I always did have the same taste in women," the men suddenly said.

"Excuse me?" Meredith asked.

"You're Derek's lusty intern, right?" Mark asked. "I heard about you all that way back in New York. You're famous."

"Well," Meredith added. "I heard about you all the way here in Seattle."

"Wait, wait, wait," Helena interrupted the two. "I'm not following. So Derek left Addison after having found you two in bed together."

Mark nodded.

"So Derek moved here in Seattle a year ago," the dark-haired continued. "That's where you met him, Meredith."

The woman agreed.

"And you start to go out with him, without knowing he was married and even if he was your teacher?" Helena asked.

"Theoretically, he wasn't my teacher when we first met at Joe's," Meredith chuckled.

"Isn't that the bar where we met?" the younger Shepherd questioned.

"It's true, what a coincidence."

"But wait a minute," Helena paused. "When did you broke up with Derek?"

"A few weeks ago," Meredith explained. "When Addison barged in and claimed she was his wife. I asked him to choose and he chooses her."

"Sad story," Mark said.

"But, what is your role in that story?" Helena asked him.

"I'll try to bring Addison back to New York with me," he clarified.

"So you don't have any scruple with stealing your best-friends wife?" the raven-haired inquired.

"Ex-best-friend and I guess not," Mark answered, he then turned back to Meredith who was finished with cleaning up his wound. "I guess we have a lot in common."

"I suppose we are," the surgeon said slightly smiling.

"You know it's funny," Mark continued. "Derek walks in on me naked with his wife, actually in the throes. And he just turns around and walks away. But he sees me so much as talking to you, and I'm on the ground bleeding. Interesting, don't you think?"

Meredith nodded. Actually, he was right, Helena thought. Why has Derek reacted like that if he decided to leave Meredith for Addison?

"What are you doing?" Mark suddenly asked interrupting Helena's way of thinking.

"You need stitches," Meredith said showing him the suture kit.

"I know, I can do that alone," he said. "Helena, would you hold the mirror?"

Helena jumped from her comfortable spot and placed herself in front of Mark with the small mirror Meredith reached her.

"If you don't need me anymore, I'm leaving," she said leaving.

"Thanks!" the dark-haired girl called her back.

"She's nice," Mark said suturing his face.

"And pretty," Helena added. "Exactly Derek's type."

Mark nodded.

"I always knew you had a big crush on Addison," the girl started. "But I never thought that I would go so far that you nearly broke your best...uhm sorry...ex-best-friends wedding.

"Is it a blame," the man smirked. "Cause for that you came a bit late, your sisters have already done the job."

Helena scowled at the mention of her sisters.

"According to your face, I think I am able to say that you didn't have spoken with your sisters for a long time," Mark said putting back the instruments on the tray.

Helena turned back, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You should call them you know, at least Amelia. She went through a lot, from what I heard."

"They wanted me to leave, Mark, my own sisters wanted me to leave because I choose another profession than they had," she turned back to him, her eyes filled with tears.

"I'm sorry Froggy," he said hugged her tightly.

She sobbed noisily in his shirt.

"You should at least try to talk to Derek."

"Your right," Helena said sniffling loudly and wiping her tears away. "I should find him right now."

Matching conducts to words she headed to the door of the small room.

"Hey Froggy," Mark called her from behind making her turn around. "It was nice to see you again."

Helena smiled brightly.

"It was nice to see you too. Hope you'll stay a bit longer," she stated getting out.

"Me too," Mark whispered.

* * *

On the outside of the room, Helena catches a glance on the interns (regroupés) at the desk with a good view on Mark behind the window. She walks the few steps to join them.

"McSexy wants an X-ray to check for fractures," Meredith suddenly said.

Helena laughed at the nickname.

"I'm on it!" the last intern said before running away to the scanners.

"So tell me, Helena," Christina suddenly said. "Where are the nicknames Froggy and King Kong came from."

The dark haired one chuckled.

"It lasts from way back," she said. "When I was like eight or nine, my sisters brought me with them for an extreme shopping day and they had a good idea to take Mark and Derek with them. Kate challenged me to try on the ugliest swimming suit of the shop. Mark made fun of me, he said that my legs looked like the frog's legs the French eats. So I respond that he looks like King Kong because at this time, he was going to the gym almost every single day and he was even more inflated of muscles that he still is."

"Yes indeed," Izzie smirked. "McSexy definitely suits him."

"No," Meredith shook her head.

"Mc Yummy," the blond offered.

This time, it was Christina that said no.

"What about McSteamy?" Helena put forward.

"There it is," Grey added.

The other girls nodded. George made a strange noise that causes him to get the questioning gases of the others.

"Just...choking back some McVomit," he grinned.

Their discussion stopped as Addison and Derek walked out of the boarding room. He seemed completely defeated. But when he saw Helena, a bright smile appeared on his lips. He widened is arm so that Helena just walked toward him for a big hug.

"I'm so happy to see you Leny," he said.

"Me too. I've really missed you."

"So tell me," Derek smiled as they walked to the (fauteuils) of the waiting room. "How is my favorite cop doing?"

"Fine, I guess," Helena said. "I'm working with a guy with lots of years of experience. His name is Peter Jackson. You should meet him."

Derek nodded.

"And are you still with this guy, how was his name again?" he asked.

Helena stiffened.

"Ryan," she said clenching the teeth. "And no, we broke up not long ago."

"I'm sorry," Derek said but not really looking like if he actually was.

"Oh, you don't have to be sorry. He was an ass and I should have known that he wasn't the person I needed."

"I've never liked him anyway. He had a bad influence on you," Derek stated.

"Do you really want to go that way?" Helena asked with a wry smile. "Then I could ask you why you barely react when you find your best friend sleeping with your wife in your bed while you punched him hard in the face when you found him flirting with your EX- girlfriend."

She emphasized the word EX overly to make him understand your point.

"How do you know?" the older Shepherd asked surprised.

"We talk when she was doing Mark's stitches."

"How do you know her?"

"We met yesterday at Joe's," Helena explained. "I was hurt and she offered me to bring me to her house to stitch me up."

After having closed her mouth, she directly felt like she shouldn't have said that. No, he will probably ask some questions about what had happened to her and she wasn't ready to tell him. It had been easy to tell Meredith because she didn't know her but telling Derek was a much more difficult thing.

"But why didn't you get to the hospital in first place?" he inquires. "And how the hell did you get that?"

"I fell in the stairs," she said bowing her head. "Meredith took me to the hospital in this early because I wasn't feeling well. So I was admitted in the morning."

Derek looked like he wanted to say something but in that moment, Christina appeared with some charts.

"Dr. Shepherd, Jake Burton's scans," she said.

"You should go," Helena encouraged him. "Your patients need you."

"You're sure?" Derek asked worriedly.

"Yes, yes, I'll be fine."

Her brother nodded and followed the intern. Helena remained alone. Her brother wasn't a fool, he knows that something was wrong. She just thought that he had enough troubles to deal with right now to be concerned by her problems. Thinking about Ryan immediately makes her feel bad. Her head was spinning, she had the sensation as millions of small needles were spiking her brain case. Her vision blurred. She tried to stand up to get some help. She only saw indistinct figures walking past her. Suddenly a human-shaped form perked up in front of her.

"You're alright miss?" a woman voice sound from the distance.

But before Helena could answer anything, she collapsed on the ground and everything became black around her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello everyone,**

 **First I wanted to tell you how happy I am that you guys like my story. The thing, I have to drive 1 hour to school every day so I have a lot of time to write.**

 **Thanks to the guests who are leaving reviews. Hope you'll like this chapter.**

 **Kisses.**

 **PS: Like in the show, Derek is married to Addison and Mark is first still in love with her too. But because I am not a huge Addison fan, she will be out of sight soon.**

* * *

Chapter 4

Derek was currently standing in Webber's office battling with Mark after he stole him the craniodiaphyseal dysplasia case away.

"That is not the point!" Shepherd said.

"The point is that the kid wants his face fixed," Sloan handled.

"No, you want to get published!" the neurosurgeon said pointing an accusing finger on Mark.

"Yeah, and I'm guessing your Chief of Surgery does too," he replied before turning to Webber sitting at his desk. "The press loves a before-after shot, Richard."

"Call me Dr. Webber," he rebuffed him. "Derek, out of friendship to you, I would very much love to say no to this...jackass. But as Chief..."

"Please don't say it," Derek interrupted.

"Dr. Sloan, if you can get the parents to sign a consent form you'll have it," the Chief decided.

"Looks like round two goes to the jackass," Sloan smirked.

Derek looked like he wanted to say something but a knock on the door make them all hushed.

"Come in," Richard said.

A nurse appeared in the opening.

"Dr. Shepherd, your sister collapsed a few minutes ago," she said.

"Oh my god, Helena !" both Derk and Mark exclaimed.

"She is under artificial breathing for now."

"Are we finished Chief?" Derek said. turning to Webber with an annoyed voice.

Richard nodded. The dark haired one quickly flew through the door jostling the nurse out of the way. Mark run him afterward. Both stopped as they spotted Addison walking toward them on the bridge. Derek thew both a cold glance before turning back to the stairs. Addison also turned around and started walking in the direction she was heading from.

"You're not even a little bit happy to see me?" Mark asked following her.

"Go home. Whatever it is you came here to do, just drop it!" the red-haired said loudly bringing the attention of the walking past employees.

"Hey, we all made mistakes, Addison. All three of us. Somehow I lost my best friend and the woman I loved."

"Please...don't say that," Addison replied.

"He doesn't know how we felt. He doesn't know you stayed with me after he left. How can you expect to work out of a marriage if you can't even be honest with him?"

"Why are you here?" she asked desperately.

"For one reason. To bring you home."

* * *

In that time, Derek had reached his sister's room. Her roommate had been taking down to the OR so her room was completely quiet. She was lying on her bed, dressed in the usual hospital gown. She looked peaceful, Derek thought. But something was ruining the picture. On her arms, Derek catches a glance at the multitude of small scars and bruises that covered it. This couldn't have been the result of her pretended fall in the stairs. He sadly had seen that many times before. It was much more the result of a destroying relationship with an aggressive boyfriend or husband. Everything became clear in Derek's mind. That was the reason why Helena felt uncomfortable with talking about Ryan earlier. He was the one who inflicted her that pain. He really had to talk to her about it. Precisely at that moment, Meredith walked into the room.

"Oh, sorry I didn't know you were here," she apologizes. "I'm coming back later."

She was about to turn back but Derek holds her back.

"No please."

She came back, changed Helena's perfusion and sat down on a chair.

"Did she told you what she went through?" Derek asked, decided to find out what happened to his baby sister.

Meredith nodded.

"It's horrible, how can somebody do that to the person he supposedly loves," she said without watching out.

"So this bastard really beat her?"

The woman stood up.

"Wait, she didn't tell you anything?!"

"She didn't have to, I figured it out by myself," Derek replied. "I mean, have you seen her. The main part of her body is covered by stars and bruises, she has an enormous wound on her forehead and a cut on the lip. I'm not a specialist but I'm able to recognize an abused woman when I see one!"

He let himself fall on a chair and took his head in his hands.

"I mean she's my little sister, I see her again for the first time in nearly 5 years and I learn that she is being mistreated by her boyfriend, a man I always knew was not a good man. It was part of his fault that she left. My sisters didn't accept him so Helena moved him with him but we didn't keep contact."

Meredith sat down next to him and laid her hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, don't blame yourself for that, you are not responsible for what happens to her," Meredith tried to assure him.

"Yes I am, I should have prevented her from him. I swear if he ever crossed my way again, I won't be able to restrain myself."

* * *

When she came back to herself, Helena kept her eyes shut. Her head was still spinning but much less then it was before. She slowly opened her eyes. The room was shrouded in darkness. Chuck must've been transported in the OR by now.

"You're awake," a voice raised from the open door.

Addison was leaning against the door frame. Helena tried to sit up but the red-haired gently pushed her back against the pillows.

"No, no, no, you really need to rest for now," she said. "You hit your head pretty hard. How did that happen by the way? Derek said you fell in the stairs."

"Yes I did," Helena said. "Is that unlikely?"

She sounded slightly annoyed.

"Sorry, didn't mean to upset you," Addison said sitting down on the side of the bed.

"How are you, Addison?" Helena asked. "I mean, how are you really? I don't want the version you serve everybody."

"You know about Meredith don't you?" Addison sighed.

"And I know about Mark," Helena smiled feebly. "He's here to get you back, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. But I don't know what I really want," the older woman said."I mean, I know that Derek never really forgive me for sleeping with Mark. And there is this intern. I'm sure he still feels something for her. But I also feel like it'll be a failure if I give up our relation."

"What does your heart say? How do you feel about Mark? Do you love him?" Helena asked her friend taking a sip of her glass of water.

"I don't know," Addison said shaking her head desperately. "You must think I'm stupid."

"No not at all," the dark-haired easy her. "In contrary, you are in a complicated situation and Iafterwardunderstand..."

But she was interrupted by the loud beeping of Addison's pager. The obstetric surgeon quickly glanced at it before standing up.

"I'm sorry honey, I've got to go," she said with a sad smile on her face. "I've got a 42 weeks pregnant woman who is finally going to deliver her baby."

"Poor woman," Helena smiled. "Having something in my womb during 9 months nonstop, I think would have turn crazy."

"Don't say that, giving birth is one of the most beautiful things on earth," Addison said with stars in her eyes heading to the door.

"That's why you do this job!" the younger Shepherd spoke to her.

The ginger nodded and walked smiling out of the room, bumping into Meredith who was getting in. They walked past each other without saying anything.

"I wanted to check on you," the intern said. "How are you feeling?"

Helena falls back into her pillows.

"I'm slowly getting fed up with people asking me this question again and again," she mumbled. "But to give you a concrete answer, I'm feeling much better, my head's still hurting a bit but its much better than before. Do you know when I can get out of here?"

"As your doctor, I would recommend you not to leave until tomorrow so that we can check on you if something happens. But as a normal person who completely understands that being a patient sucks, I will just say that you can leave as soon as you wish as long as you sign me a discharge.

"Sure," Helena said starting to sit up.

"There is one tiny little thing I have to tell you," Meredith said looking uncomfortable.

"Tell me," the dark-haired encouraged her.

"I...accidently might have told Derek...about what happens to you."

"What!?"

"I'm so sorry, I've thought you may have already told him."

The intern seemed really desolated. Helena was felt angry, but not against Meredith, against herself. She should have told her brother first.

* * *

Later, more at the end of the day, Helena was packing her stuff to leave the hospital when Mark and Derek came into her room both dressed in their dark blue gowns.

"Wow!" the girl exclaimed. "Both of you in the same room without one hitting on the other. That's a big improvement since this morning!"

She smiled brightly and even the warning look her brother was sending her didn't turn her down.

"What do you think you are doing?" Derek said pointing on her bag.

"I'm leaving the hospital," Helena said putting on her shoes and her jacket.

"Against medical advice?" he continued.

"Yeah, I'm perfectly fine and don't you worry, I've signed a discharge."

The neurosurgeon sighed deeply.

"Whatever, what are you two doing here?"

"We wanted to give you the opportunity to watch the amazing intervention on the craniodiaphyseal dysplasia case," Mark explained before Derek could even open the mouth.

"Case that Mark stole to me by the way," he then replied.

Helena grinned widely.

"Sure I want to see it!"

After having taken all her stuff, the three headed to the OR section. There, they split up, Mark and Derek getting scrubbed in and Helena joining the upper watching gallery. In the in the restricted room were standing a few doctors including a small woman standing near the glass with a newborn child in the baby carrier, watching down to the people getting the operating room ready. The younger Shepherd remember hearing Meredith talking about a resident who just had given birth to her baby. What was her name again? Ah yes, Bailey.

"Miss Shepherd?" a voice said behind her. "What are you doing here?"

She turned around. Richard Webber, the Chief of Surgery of the hospital was standing right behind her with crossed arms.

"Dr. Webber, with all respect, I didn't mean to intrude," she apologizes. "My brother told me to come up here to watch the intervention."

"You can stay," the men said gently smiling at her. "So tell me, are you also in the medical field like the rest of your siblings?"

Helena shook her head.

"I used to," she said. "I broke up my internship after three years."

"May I ask why?"

"There was that patient, a young pregnant woman who came to the hospital after she had a car accident. She came under my care and during to the intervention who was meant to save her life, the child dies. The woman survived without any consequences. After that, my attending from that time decided that it would be a good training if I'll go announce her baby's death to the mother. I was an intern, I had nothing to say against it. It was the most difficult thing I had to do in my entire life and after the experience, I took the decision to stop my medical studies."

"Don't you ever regret?" the Chief asked.

"Sometimes I do actually, I miss that rush, that excitement you feel when you enter the OR."

During her explanation, her eyes get filled with tears that she held back when she noticed. Weber remained quiet for a few minutes when she finished. Helena put her attention back on the OR. Derek and Mark were getting dressed by the bloc assistants. As he saw her standing there the plastic surgeon winked at her. She looked at her brother. Before starting he smiled at everybody and stated:

"It's a beautiful evening to save lives, people. Let's have some fun!"

And he started cutting off the patient's brain. Helena always admired her brother. Having the aptitude for being a neurosurgeon was something really rare. When she was studying she often had thought about the specialty that she would had to choose in surgery. But she'd never really known. Bailey was standing directly in front of the glass, describing to her baby what Derek was doing as if he could understand it.

"And now Dr. Shepherd is opening the skull cap," she said. "That's what he's doing. Yes, he is."

Helena concentrated on her brother.

"Basin," he said taking the peace of the skull between the clamp. "This is done."

But suddenly, the machine started to beep furiously.

"Oh, son of a bitch!" he exclaimed. "Give me a sponge. Hang another unit of blood."

"There's too much blood," Bailey said toward Weber standing next to her.

"Pressure infuser."

"There is no carotid," Alex said taking his pulse.

"We've got v-fib."

"Get ready to bag him. He's losing a lot of blood."

"Paddles! Get the paddles! Quickly!"

"Charge to 100!"

"Charging."

"Clear!"

It was getting worse. Bailey left the room with her baby, shaking her head.

"Still no pulse."

"Charge to 200!"

"Charging...Clear!"

"Nothing!"

"He's death…."

"Time of death 21.34," Derek announced.

* * *

About half an hour later Meredith was sitting alone at the desk at Joe's bar.

"This seat is taken?" Mark asked.

"I guess not," the girl replied.

"Double scotch, single malt," he ordered. "You look sad."

"I just saw my father for the first time in 20 years."

"How did that go?" he asked taking a gulp of his drink.

"Could have gone better. What are you still doing here?" she asked.

"I'm hoping Addison shows up," Marked answered.

"You're still in love with her, aren't you?"

"I don't know. Are you still in love with him?"

"She won't show, you know."

"No?"

"He's not the kind of guy you leave if you can help it."

"What if you're wrong? What if just this once...life comes down on the side of the dirty mistresses?"

Meredith smiled at him.

"You're right."

He drank another gulp.

"I don't want to get drunk today," the girl said. "I'll better go home now."

Mark nodded silently. Without any more words, Meredith stood up and left. The plastic surgeon remained at the bar, staring at this empty glass.

"Another one?" Joe asked.

He nodded. Drinking was the only thing he needed right now.

"You know that alcohol doesn't solve anything," a voice said behind him. "The only thing that you can win with drinking is a big headache tomorrow."

"Helena, what are you doing here?" he asked.

"Meredith asked me to met her here so that we can drive home together," she said sitting on the chair at his left.

"You just missed her," Mark said. "She left like 5 minutes ago."

" Well then, all that is left for me to do is to find a hotel for that night," she said ordering a whiskey.

"Come to mine," the surgeon said. "The prices are outrageous but we can share my room."

"Like in the old days?" Helena asked laughing.

"Exactly."


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys**

 **finally posting the 5 chapter. I'll need a more time to post the following because I'm not so sure about was coming next.**

 **Thank you for all the guest reviews in particular to Patsy who is actively following every chapter.**

 **Enjoy your reading.**

 **Kisses**

* * *

Chapter 5

It was a dazzling headache that woke Mark Sloan up the next morning. Every time he woke up with a hangover he promised himself that it will be the last time but then something happens that makes him draw back down. This time it was Addison like Meredith had forecast, she didn't show up at Joe's. Maybe something came up that hinder her to come, Mark tried to reassure himself, but it was much more plausible that she just didn't want to. Maybe she just not love him anymore. Maybe Derek once again got the girl. Thinking about it, Derek always got the girl then he was the one that everybody loves, the fine man to be married to, to ground a family with. He was the lover. Mark contrariwise was the one you hook up with, the one that wasn't faithful enough to be in a stable relationship with somebody. It always has been like this.

The blankets moved. Mark slowly turned to the person on the other side of the bed. Helena was sleeping, her arms closely wicked around her body. She looked so peaceful, but there was something wrong, he didn't know what but he had the sensation that something stopped her to be happy. The evening before when she joined him at the bar, it was like something was missing, the heart was not there. While speaking with her he tried to figure out what it was but without success. It was hard for him to imagine Helena having troubles. For him, she was Derek's little soft and sweet sister. He knew her since her birth, they grew up together, he comfort her when she broke up with her first boyfriend, he even was her date to the medical prom years ago. She was a very good friend. He would on anything to protect her.

Mark watched her sleep. He remembered himself think years ago how pretty she actually was. With her thick black locks and her deep brown eyes, she was a natural beauty. But he always denied any physical attraction because she was Derek's little sister and he would have killed her if he only had known.

"What are you thinking about?"

Helena had opened her eyes and was staring at him.

"Still about Addison?" she asked smiling.

"Actually I was thinking about how ugly you actually are," he said smirking.

As an answer, she ditched him her pillow in the head. Followed an exhausting pillow fight that ends up as a table lamp crashed on the floor.

"Oops," the girl said breaking in a laughter.

Both let themselves fall back on the bed.

"What are you going to do now?" Helena asked. "Do you plan on staying here in Seattle or are you heading back to New York?"

"I don't really know, I don't think there is any chance that Addison leaves Derek, let alone for me, maybe it is the best for everybody if I just leave."

"Mark Sloan I forbid you to even dare think something like that. I know Derek isn't very friendly toward you in the last time and Addison barely speak to you but I'm here and I would miss you!"

"I will miss you too Froggy."

Mark stood up. From where she was lying, Helena had a good view of his well proportionate and muscular torso. God be blessed for having to give this man such amazing abs.

"Enjoying the view?" the men smirked catching her glance.

"No, please threw on a shirt, I'm going to go blind," she said hiding her head in a pillow.

"I would like too but you are wearing my last clean shirt," Mark said with a smirk. "Would it bother you to give me it back?"

Helena stood up to dress. Because of her smallness, the shirt was reaching her to the mid-thigh area.

"Turn around!" she said to him.

"Come one, I've seen you in underwear more times than I can count," the surgeon teased.

"I'm not joking Mark!" she said with a really serious voice.

Mark sighed and slowly turned around.

"You know it's ridiculous," he said.

Helena sighed loudly. She knew it was ridiculous but it was out of the question that Mark sees her with all that bruises. He wouldn't have the tact that Derek has, he would ask questions and more of that, he would overreact. Or try to do something stupid like confronting Ryan and it was a very bad idea that would end badly for everybody.

"Are you finished?" Mark getting impatient.

Helena quickly threw on her white pullover before turning back to Sloan.

"Yes," she said stuffing her stuff back in her travel bag and tossing the shirt back to him.

"You're ready?" he asked.

"Yes."

She stooped to put on her shoes. As she did, her pullover slipped a few inches up revealing a part of her back covered with scars.

"What happens to your back?" Mark asked worriedly.

Helena stood right and pulled on her shirt to hide her injury.

"Nothing," she said hastily. "Can we go now?"

Mark caught her arm to stop her making her let out a squeal. He slowly rolled up her sleeve showing even more bruises.

"Tell me what happened."

Helena moved off his grip and headed for the door but Mark walked toward her and blocked her way through the door.

"Let me go," she said trying to push him out of the way.

"Not before you tell me what happens, and don't tell me you fell in the stairs, maybe Addison was prone to believe you but I'm not."

"You two talked!" Helena shouted. That's why you were so pissed of yesterday at Joe's. She rejected you, didn't she?"

"Yes she did but...wait that's not the point. Don't even try to change the subject. Tell me what the hell happen or none of us is going to leave this room.

Helena sighed and let herself fall seated on the bed, her head in her hand.

"It's him Mark, Ryan."

"What!"

He quickly crossed the room and sat down next to her.

"Since he lost his job six months ago he became more and more violent. He's frustrated because he didn't find another place due to his criminal record so he regularly took his frustration out on me."

She started to cry. Mark put protectively his arms around her and squeezed her tightly.

"Helena, I am so sorry I wish you would never have to live this situation, he said softly rubbing her back to comfort her.

"Now dry your tears Froggy, I will ensure that nothing more will happen to you."

Helena pulls away from the surgeon.

"You can't do that Mark, you have to go back to New York. Besides, I think I need some time alone. I think I am going to quit the police and to travel around a bit."

"That's good to have plans Froggy," her friend smiled at her. "I'll be right behind you whatever the decision will be.

"Thanks, Mark," you're really are a very good friend!"

"A good friend who you soaked another shirt of," the blonde smiled making her laugh toward her tears.

"Let's go!"

They picked their stuff and left the room. In the lift, Mark was thinking. Something had tightened himself in him when she had told that he was a good friend. Wasn't he something more? Like at least a best friend or maybe more. Their relation always had been unclear. It always had been this kind of "I love you, me neither". He always had felt kind of jealous when she was with a boy, even if he had some girl with him. But he never admits it.

On her side, Helena felt somehow relieved that Mark knows about it. He was really important for her and she couldn't imagine hiding something that big to him. He's always been there when she needed him and she was very thankful for that.

They arrived downstairs, Mark paid his room and Helena insisted to pay for the broken lamp. As they went out, Mark headed to a beautiful Harley Davidson.

"You still have it!" Helena wondered amazed. "I remember when you bought it, you took Derek for a ride the first day and you two had an accident because he was too scared to hold still.

Mark chuckled.

"He still has the scar on his forehead."

"And he still dislikes my passion for motorcycles."

"Did you finally have the license?"

"No, I couldn't afford to pay it, I had to save some money for my flat. But I still want to do it."

Mark took out two helmets and reached one to Helena. She put it on and climbed behind him on the cycle.

"Hold tight!"

He started the engine as if shot from a canon. Helena clamped her arms around Mark's strong torso to be secure

Mark drove Helena to the hospital.

"Call me!" he said hugging her tightly. Any timee, Any Day."

"I promise," she said giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Stay strong Froggy, because you are. Don't let anybody tell you the other way around."

A small smile appeared on her face.

"Thank you a lot, Mark."

Helena took a few steps back, Mark put on his helmet and started the engine. He waved a last goodbye before driving away in a loud noise. Helena watched him disappear in the early Seattle traffic jam. She turned around facing the hospital. His white stone, lighten by the morning sun had something familiar and comfortable. She didn't know why but this place gave her the feeling of security she was looking for since 6 months. With firm steps, she headed for the front door. In the hallway, she met Meredith who was waiting for a lift.

"Hey, you!" Helena said smiling.

Meredith mumbled a small hello.

"What happened?" the Shepherd asked.

"How do you know that something happens?" Meredith asked surprised.

"I didn't know but you've just affirmed that something happens," the dark-haired one giggled.

Meredith sighed. The lift door open and the two get into.

"I've done something horrible," the intern stated as the door closed.

The lift doors open with the distinctive tone and Helena and Meredith get out.

"But why the hell did you sleep with him?" the black haired exclaimed.

"Shhhhhhh, nobody must know," Meredith spoke quietly. "Yesterday I saw my father for the first time in 20 years and didn't go very well. So I've been at Joe's to have a drink, I got home pretty drunk. There George came into my room and started to say that he would never stop loving me and that ends with a hookup."

"But, I don't understand what is so horrible with that?" Helena wondered.

"It's just, while we were doing...the...the...the thing you know, I...I just...started to cry."

"You WHAT?" the black haired girl tried not to laugh.

"Yes, I cry. I don't even really know why, I just did it," Meredith _ embarrassed. "And I think I might have hurt him."

Helena hardly refrains herself from bursting out laughing.

"It's not funny," the surgeon said hitting her on the shoulder.

"Sorry. It's just that I try to imagine the scene. He was the happiest men of the world, finally sleeping with you and you started to cry. I understand that he felt hurt."

Meredith let out a deep sigh.

"And now he's avoiding me, and I'm avoiding him, but how can that go. I mean, we live in the same house, work at the same place."

"It's gonna be very awkward," the Shepherd said smiling but when she caught the other girl's glance she stopped.

"Well, it's not that I'm getting bored with you but duty calls," Meredith said.

"I understand," Helena nodded. "I'll try to find Derek."

"See you!"

The intern walked away. At that time, Addison walked out of the lift. She was walking very strange.

"Addy?" Helena asked. "Are you ok?"

As she saw the dark-haired girl, Addison had a relieved smile on her face.

"Oh, Helena, thank God! I really really need your help!"

Ten minutes later, Helena knocked on a patient's door.

"Are you Dr. Bailey's husband?" she asked the men who was packing his stuff.

The men turned around.

"Himself," he said. "And you are?"

"I'm Dr. Shepherd's sister," the girl introduced herself. "Is your wife here?"

Dr. Bailey came out of the washroom, carrying her baby.

"Yes I'm here," she said. "Who are you?"

"My name is Helena Shepherd, I'm Derek's little sister and I really need your help." the black haired said.

"Are you ok?" the woman asked.

"Oh, it's not me, it's Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd," Helena replied. "She needs a consult."

Tucker cleared his throat and looked at Miranda with a warning gaze.

"Tell her I'm not working," she said.

"Dr. Bailey, she needs a consult," the Shepherd said insisting on the "she".

Bailey seems to understand since she reached the baby to her husband.

"I'm coming back soon."

Tucker shook his head desperate. Miranda followed Helena in the gangway.

"You were in the gallery yesterday," the surgeon noticed. "You were watching the intervention on that teenager, Jake Burton."

"Yes, it's too bad that it went so wrong," the other girl said.

They arrived in front of a consult room.

"She's in there," Helena said.

Bailey enter the room.

* * *

Later that day, Helena was drinking a coffee at the canteen as Richard sat down in front of her.

"Dr. Webber, it's nice to see you again, "Helena said smiling gently.

"Please call me Richard," he said. Miss Shepherd, I thought about our conversation from yesterday. And about you saying that you at some point regret the rush of the OR. And so I thought of something for you."

"Wait," the dark haired girl interrupt him. "You're not thinking about giving me a job, aren't you? Because it's really what I need right now."

Dr. Webber chuckled.

"No, not, you got me wrong, I wasn't offering you a job, at least not right now. What I was thinking about is to send you to some friends of mine. They are working for Doctors without Borders, currently stationed in Europe but they are often traveling in the Middle-East in the countries in need. I don't really know you but I have a feeling like you could be highly qualified for that and this could be the occasion for you to reconcile yourself with the profession. Just think about it."

He then stood up, and, without waiting for her to answer, walked away. Helena sat there, watching him back, not really knowing what to do. Maybe he was right. Maybe it was really stupid to waste her little knowledge in medicine with doing something that had nothing to do with it. When she was younger, she always admired the Doctors without Borders and their actions around the world. As long as she could remind herself, it was them that brought her to the wish to start medicine studies. And it would be a good way to pull away from all that happens here in Seattle. A good way to forget about Ryan and their relation.

A good way to find herself back.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guy, like you'll see, this chapter doesn't take place in Seattle, I'm actually very proud of this chapter. I made a few pieces of research to be sure about the political situation in the countries I'm talking about and I'm sorry if I made mistakes that way. In this chapter, I tried to integrate my OC in Owen's life (didn't mean that they will end up together).**

 **Good reading**

 **Kisses**

* * *

Chapter 6

For the first time in nearly ten months, Helena woke up naturally. Naturally means without being woken up by the loud noise of bombings or gunfire exchange. It was a sign, she was finally getting home.

She quickly stood up, stretched her still asleep muscles and sighed. She couldn't believe that the time got over so fast. A year ago she left Seattle, leaving behind Derek, Addison, the hospital and of course Ryan. She still remembered the conversation she had with Richard like it was yesterday, the conversation that changed everything. After he had left, she had stayed a while in the canteen thinking about what she was really expecting from her life. She then paid a visit to the Chief to accept his offer. He made a few calls and organized her the travel to Berlin, where his friends were currently staying. Helena then said goodbye to everybody, Derek was quite disappointed that she didn't stay longer and she took the first cab to the airport. She had no luggage, just her travel pass, and some cash as she got on the plane. The crew was looking at her like she was a fugitive or something. Arrived in Berlin, she met Richard's friends, a nice couple in the mid-thirties. Chris was American and worked for Doctors Without Borders since he was twenty. He met Anne, his wife, on one of his missions in Pakistan where she was teaching French in a primary school in the small village he was acting in. They immediately fell in love and married a few months later, she afterward chooses to follow him around the world. They offered to Helena to stay at their place during the time they had to wait before being send in another mission. The first assignation came very fast. All of them were sent to Syria where the conflict between the dictatorship established by the al-Assad family and the rebels had aggravated and made lots of injured. There Helena met a major of the American army who was quite impressed by her medical skills and who helped her join his medical unit of the army. She was then send to Iraq leaving Anne and Chris back. And there she was, a surgeon of the US-Army stationed in Iraq for nearly ten months by now.

She quickly grabbed her clothes, put them on and was about to leave her tent when the man who was lying on her bed suddenly woke up.

"Where are you going?" he asked with an asleep voice.

"I'm leaving," Helena said grabbing her package. "I'm getting back home."

The men sat up on the bed.

"You're saying you're leaving me?" he asked.

"We both know that you won't miss me, it was just sex between us. Officially you have a girlfriend and you should rather be concerned about her learning that you are cheating on her," the black haired girl stated with a small smirk. "Megan is a great girl and maybe you should think about taking the next step with her and become an honorable man, means you stop sleeping around and you propose to her at last!"

"You're probably right," he said falling back in the pillows.

"I have to stop by at the hospital before the helicopter gets me. You should better vanish before somebody sees you here."

She threw her pack over her shoulder.

"See you Nathan !" she said before getting out of the tent.

Outside the sun was already high in the sky and the camp was already awakened. Soldiers and medical staff were already running around. On her way to the hospital tent she greeted a few soldiers she knew as well as some natives in Arabic. In the few months she spends in Iraq, she learned the basics of the language which greatly eased her interaction with the people living here. She gets quite quickly accustomed to the life on the field. Being in the center of action made her recover the rush that she really missed when she was in Seattle. Here you never knew when something was going to happen. You had to act quickly to make space for the next arrivals. Mostly there was no time to check on the patient's post-ops. The most surgeries even must be done on the spot, without the time to get an OR ready. And the cases the had here weren't the easiest, mostly severe wounds due to pieces shrapnel or deep shot and stabbed wounds.

When she finally arrived at the hospital tent, she immediately spotted Teddy Altman who was checking over a post-op patient.

"Do you know where I can find the Major?" Helena asked the woman.

"He's at the command station," the blond said coldly.

Helena was used to the way Teddy applying to her. The woman knew about her and Riggs hooking up and she was clearly disapproving. It was quite understandable knowing that she considered Megan as her little sister. But Helena never understood why she kept the secret, probably to protect her friend.

"You're finally leaving," Teddy noticed not even trying to hide her happiness.

"Don't be that disappointed," the dark-haired girl joked.

"Don't worry about that," Teddy said putting on her usual fake smile. "I'm not gonna miss you at all."

Helena shook her head sighing.

"Well, then see you!" she shouted leaving the tent.

"Hopefully not!" Altman called her back.

Helena sighed. She never wanted to have problems with Teddy but when she arrived, the only thing she needed was someone to make her forget and get over Ryan and Nathan had provided her that distraction. It always had been clear between the two, no feeling, just fun. Nathan loved Megan but he was just a man after all.

Helena arrived at the tent housing the command station. Owen Hunt was leaning over a map and was talking to his sister.

"There was a strike on a village near Ramadi and because they are overwhelmed they are sending the injured to us," he was saying.

"Major Hunt!" Helena said.

The Hunt siblings turned around to face her.

"Helena," the men said smiling. "After ten months working together, you can call me Owen you know."

"Sorry Sir, the habit I guess."

"Well, are you ready to return?" he asked.

"I am sir," Helena replied. "Happy to go back."

"I totally understand that," Megan piped up. "I couldn't stand under his command any longer."

Her brother gave her a falsely offended look.

"The helicopter will be here soon," the Major continued as the three get out to the fresh air, watching up to the sky.

"So what will you miss the most," Megan asked Helena ironically. "The tasteless food or the uncomfortable bed?"

"I will miss the half to death bleeding soldiers asking when they will be able to get back on the battlefield."

Megan laughed. At some point, Helena felt guilty for sleeping with Nathan. The Hunt girl was a very nice person and she surely didn't deserve that. The loud noise of a helicopter engine over their heads made Helena stopped her sudden momentum of guilty conscience.

"Hope to see you one day in Seattle," the Shepherd said shaking Owen's hand.

She was surprised when Megan hugged her.

"It was nice to meet you," she said.

"You too Megan," Helena replied. "I hope you'll get you strats. You totally deserve that."

The red-haired smiled at her kindly. In the distance, she saw Teddy and Nathan walking by. They were talking actively, probably about her then Teddy seemed pretty angry.

"Major," the pilot said to them. "We have to leave now."

"Coming!" Helena called.

She winked at everybody and run head bent to the helicopter.

The flight to Baghdad only lasted one hour, then Helena was driven to the airport where she took the first flight to London. She spent a night at the airport before she could take the next plane to Seattle in the morning. During the flight, she sat next to the window, admiring the ocean she hadn't seen for over a year now. This wide blue area she had seen every day from her flat in the last years. She thought about how it would be when she'll be back. Did Ryan move out? Actually, he should have because she theoretically gave back the keys to the apartment. Her landlord was so kind that she offers to keep her furniture and belongings at the apartment for when she returned.

Helena had tried to keep contact with her brother as long as she could but the connections from Iraq to the States were rare and quite expensive and she quickly run out of money. It was much easier to stay in touch with Anne and Chris. They had made a break with DWB and stayed at their place in Berlin. Anne was even expecting a happy event. They had also bought her the news that Richard was ready to offer her a place as a resident when she decides to come back.

She also had a call with Mark a few months ago. He had come back to Seattle Grace Hospital and Richard gave him the place of Head of the plastic surgery unit of the hospital. Her friend had told about what was happening at the hospital, like that Meredith had started to date Doc's vet, who by the way died from a bone cancer (RIP Doc), that Derek and Meredith hooked up at the school prom that was organized for the chief's ill niece, that Izzie's patient-boyfriend died after she cut his LVD wire, that Burke was shot, that George was dating a hot ortho surgeon, that Richard was thinking about retirement and that he had to choose his heir and that Burke and Cristina were getting married soon.

In brief, lots of things happened.

"Madam, are you a soldier?" a small voice asked.

The little boy that sat next to her had spoken. He was approximately five years old, he had mid-long blond hair that was falling over his deep blue eyes. The place next to him was free, his mother was probably at the toilet.

"Why do you think I am a soldier?" Helena asked smiling.

"Because you are wearing a military uniform," the boy said pointing on her cargo pants. "My father is a soldier and he wears that too."

"Well I work for the army, yes, but as a surgeon. I'm healing people like your father."

"How can you hear people? Do you have a superpower?"

"No, I'm practicing medicine," she explained but pursue in front of the incomprehensive face of the boy. "You know when you have a stomach ache, your mommy brings you to a man who takes the pain away with this strange sweets."

"The one that isn't yummy at all?" the boy asked questioning.

"Yes, this one," Helena said smiling. "Well, I'm like that guy but for adults and on the battlefield."

"Cool," the little boy exclaimed.

He then turned back to his comic and completely forget her. Helena turned back to the window. In a few hours, she would be reunited with her brother again. And she will saw Mark and Derek again. Nobody besides Richard knew that she was coming back. She was impatient to see everybody again.

Helena slept the last few hours of the flight until the boy next to her shook he woken.

"Madam, we just land," he said.

"Thanks, buddy, she said (décoiffant) his hair.

She threw her package over her shoulder and got out of the plane. There was a bit of wind but the sun warmed up the air, it has nothing to do with the hot air of Iraq but still pleasant. Outside, she jumped in the first cab she could find. Driving, she watched at the streets of Seattle. It felt good to see skyscrapers, cars, and civilization again. Even if she gets used to the life back in Iraq, she had missed the life of the city.

"Where do you want to?" the cab driver asked.

She quickly thought about it. Showing up directly at the hospital may not be the best idea right now. She gave the driver the address of the hotel where she was staying with Mark a year ago. She wanted to take a good shower before doing anything.

Once the cab had dropped her at the hotel, she booked a room for one night. She'll see later where she'll stay. Helena then took the left up to her room.

After a long shower, she put on a white shirt and her last clean carbo pant. Maybe it was time for her to go shopping, she namely didn't have anything to dress other than her army clothes. In the bathroom, she dried her short hair and brushed the black locks into a messy ponytail. She then grabbed her jacket and her money and left her room. Outside, the sky had become dark. It was around 8 pm and she started to get really hungry. Understandable, the last thing she ate was a disgusting croissant at the airport in London.

Derek sat at the counter at Joe's with a very defeated face. The wedding was over, Burke was gone. Meredith was probably somewhere comfort Cristina. He didn't even know if Cristina was really sad about it, she didn't want this wedding after all. His thought wanders to his girlfriend, or maybe ex-girlfriend. He didn't really know what they were in that moment. When Meredith had shown up in the church and she had said that everything was over, she had clearly understood that she didn't only mean the wedding but also their relationship. He didn't really know why but Derek felt like their relationship was over since weeks now, since that ferry accident. Everything was different since that time. She was distant, not very invested in their story.

The seat next to him moved.

"A whiskey," a man's voice ordered next to him.

"Mark, what are you doing here?" Derek asked quite angry.

"Drinking," the blonde answered. "Addison left. Why are you drinking, mate?"

"Meredith left me," the neurosurgeon replied.

"Sorry mate. You really loved her didn't you?"

Derek nodded. Both toasted quite sadly. None of them noticed the dark-haired girl who entered the bar in that moment. As she spotted them, she draws from behind and the two mans jumped as she speaks.

"Why do you both look so sad? Is somebody dead or something?"

 **So, like you've probably noticed, I'm not a big fan of Teddy Altman, so I gave her the bad role, sorry if you like her but to me, there is something false in her that I can't stand. If you had the occasion to watch season 14 episode 5, you've noticed that Helena took the place of the girl who Nathan hooked up with when he was with Megan.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello guys,**

 **this chapter is not as interesting as the further ones but I'll try to make it better next time. Hope you still like it. I'm not a big Lexie fan at the beginning, so sorry for all the Lexie fan's (it's not gonna be so bad because I know that a lot of person loves her)**

 **Like always, Grey's Anatomy and all the character don't belong to me, only the story development do.**

 **Enjoy your reading!**

 **Kisses**

* * *

Chapter 7

Mark and Derek quickly turned around. Helena was standing there, the arms wide open, ready to embrace them. First, they both stared at her, not really realizing she was there before standing up and throwing their arms around her.

"Leny, I'm so happy to see you!" Derek said giving her a kiss on her forehead.

"Me too Derek, but you're chocking me," the girl replied with a bright smile.

Derek stepped back and Mark hugged the dark-haired girl tightly.

"A tequila Joe," she asked as the three sat at the bar.

"What happens to your hair?" Mark asked drawing a hand through his friend's short locks.

"You know, it's much handier when you are operating a man in precarious conditions with an insupportable heat and with a mass of hair on your head," Helena explained.

Her brother was watching her with insistence.

"Why didn't you said that you were coming back?" he asked taking a sip of his drink.

"I wanted it to be a surprise," the Shepherd girl said. "And if you want another one, guess who is going to work at the hospital after this summer."

Derek's face brightens.

"I'm so happy that you finally decide to practice medicine again!" he said with a bright smile.

Helena raised her glass.

"To my new job," she toasted.

The three drank their drinks bottoms up and ordered another drink.

"So tell me, what happens at the hospital since the last time I called?" the girl asked.

Derek's face darkened immediately.

"What?" his sister asked watching alternatively Mark and Derek. "Did I said something wrong?"

Mark cleared his throat.

"Well, Meredith just broke up with him," he explained. "Burke run away from his wedding, Addy left and your brother declined the offer of Webber making him the next Chief."

Helena opened her mouth surprised.

"What?! But I thought you wanted to be Chief," she said. "And why the hell did Meredith leave you?"

"I thought Richard was the only one who can continue to be Chief and concerning Meredith, we depart from another."

"I'm sorry Derek," his sister said apologetically. "I thought she was the right one for you. Actually, I still think she is, but every couple has some time with and without."

Derek nodded sadly glancing in his glass of whiskey. Helena turned to Mark.

"And why did Addison left? I thought you two were trying to make it out."

Mark emptied his glass.

"Maybe we weren't meant to be together," he said. "I get accustomed to the fact that she didn't love me anymore and I guess the feelings went away."

"And what about Cristina and Burke?" the black-haired girl pursue.

"Preston realized that she didn't really want to marry him for the good reason so he broke up and disappeared," Derek explained.

"So if I resume, everybody is single," the Shepherd girl stated.

Both nodded sadly.

"Then it was the time that I finally came back to make your lives happy and fun again!"

* * *

A few weeks later, after the summer holidays, Helena was getting ready to go to work. In that time, she had moved him with Derek in his trolley. It was narrow but not more uncomfortable than her place back in Iraq. She had heard from Meredith that she and Cristina were gone on the honeymoon that was planned with Burke to make a break from Seattle. Derek had spent the entire time at Joe's, drinking. But in the last weeks, Helena had managed to make him met other woman, to distract him from Meredith.

Today was her first day at Seattle Grace Memorial Hospital and she was really excited to work in a hospital again. Derek was still sleeping. Helena pulled on the blanket to expose him to the cold air.

"Come on Sleepyhead, it's time to wake up!" she shouted as he slowly opened his eyes moaning.

Derek hides his head under the pillow.

"Come on, I don't want to be late on my first day!"

Reluctantly the neurosurgeon stood up and headed to the shower In that time Helena get two mugs of coffee ready. She couldn't wait to work again.

When both were ready they took Derek's pickup outside and drove to the hospital. On the way, Helena was questioning her brother.

"What are you gonna do when you'll see Meredith?" she asked.

Derek threw her a black glance.

"I'm just getting out of her way," he said concentrating back on the road.

The rest of the way, the two Shepherd remained silent. At the hospital, Helena first went to Webber's office.

"Unlike the other new residents, you won't get interns right now," he said. "You have to get accustomed to the hospital yet."

Helena nodded in understanding.

"What I can offer you is to choose one of your resident colleagues and you'll follow him around during the next few days. What about Dr. Grey?" he asked. "I remember you two had a good feeling the first time you met."

Helena nodded. Sure it would be a good occasion to have Meredith's part of the story about the breakup.

"So, now you better go change in the resident's locker room, the rounds are about to start."

Helena politely said goodbye and headed to the locker room. She quickly dresses up in the usual light blue scrub before looking for Meredith. She found her showing a few young interns around. Helena recognized George in the group, she wondered why he was among the interns. The Shepherd girl leaned against a nearby wall, not wanting to interrupt Meredith. Grey opened a door.

"On-call room. Sleep when you can where you can," she explained. "But not with anybody. No attendings. Especially no attendings. Sleeping with attendings, not a good idea."

Helena smiled, knowing she meant her brother.

"Where was I?" the resident asked.

"Um… rule number three," George pursue. "If you're sleeping, do not wake you unless a patient's actually dying."

"Thank you, George. Now disappear, all of you!" Meredith said to the others.

She then noticed the dark-haired girl against the wall.

"Helena?!" she said surprised. "I didn't know you were back."

Helena hugged her tightly.

"It's good to see you Mer!"

The brown-haired noticed the blouse.

"Wait, are you working here now?" she asked.

Helena nodded.

"I'm your new co-resident!"

The girls walked arm in arm in the hallway.

"You have to tell me everything," Helena said smiling brightly.

* * *

"I hate them!" Cristina was saying, talking about the interns.

Helena, Cristina, Meredith, Izzie, and Alex were sitting on the stretcher in the basement of the hospital.

"You don't," Meredith chuckled. "You hate you."

"That was hideous, I feel like a fraud," their blonde friend sighed.

"I knocked it, I think I am the new Nazi," Alex said.

"The Nazi?" Helena said.

"So was called Bailey when we were her interns," Cristina explained. "And, no Alex, you're not the new Nazi."

"Hot McArmy is lucky to don't have a bunch of freaking stupid interns following her everywhere," the young man added.

"Hot McArmy? Seriously Alex?" Helena replied with a smirk, lying on a nearby bed with closed eyes.

George appeared.

"Meredith, can I talk to you?"

But before Meredith could even answer, Izzie had interrupted.

"How was your vacation?" she asked the young man.

"Fine," he shortly said not looking into her eyes. "Meredith, could we…."

But Izzie interrupts again. Helena turned to Alex.

"Is there a problem between the two?" she whispered. "Izzie is acting weird."

Alex chuckled.

"Izzie told Bambi that she loves him before the summer break and apparently he never called her back."

"Wasn't he with this girl from ortho?" the Shepherd girl wondered.

"Yes, he still is actually," the young man chuckled. "Never thought I will ever see two girls battling for Bambi."

Helena concentrates back on the main conversation.

"The day of Cristina's wedding which was, well…," Izzie was saying. "Mer and Cristina went on her honeymoon without me!"

"Girl-on-girl honeymoon," Alex cackled.

"Alex took a road trip to see Ava without me," the blonde raised.

"Who is Ava?" the dark-haired girl asked.

"Nobody," Alex hasty said. "I did not go to see her. I didn't see her. I just drove in that direction."

"Why is everyone so tingly and hurt? I'm the one who was left at the altar," Cristina added. "I'm fine by the way. I honeymooned in Hawaii and I snorkeled."

"What did you do George?" Izzie said to the men who were still standing in front of them.

"Meredith, I really need to talk to you," he insists ignoring the blonde.

A group of interns appeared wanting to sit down with them.

"Hey!" Meredith shouted at them. "This is for residents only, no interns."

"Yeah, get out of her," Cristina added.

"Go away," Izzie threw.

"OO7s in training!" Alex jiggled.

George followed the others.

"NO, George! I didn't mean you!" Meredith said.

"I'm an intern!" he shouted without turning back.

"Is this how it's going to be. Bambi has to deal," Alex chuckled.

"Have you seen Burke?" Meredith asked her best friend.

"No," she answered.

"Have you seen Derek?" Helena asked Meredith.

"No," the brown-haired answered.

"Wait, you haven't seen either of them since the wedding?" the Shepherd girl asked.

"Nope!" both answered.

"And you're all fine?"

"Yep."

The pagers started to beep furiously.

"Let's go then," Alex said standing up.

When the arrived at the ER, Helena noticed her brother speaking with a patient.

"There is Derek," she said to the attention of Meredith.

"Is Burke with him?" Cristina asked anxiously.

"I don't see him," Meredith replied.

They arrived in front of a tall and strong woman with long straight black hair.

"Where have you been?!" she said when she saw them. "We have MVC's due any second."

"We're here, aren't we?" Alex replicated.

"Just get ready, Ok" she continues. "And monitor your interns."

She walked away in one of the trauma room.

"One, two, go get stat packs, three, four, met the ambulance," Cristina ordered to her interns.

"One and two?" Helena asked smiling.

"I know, I can't remember their names," she sighed walking away.

George reached out.

"I don't respond to a number," he said.

"George, go wait for the ambulance," Meredith said.

"I'm coming with you," Helena put forward.

Both put on the usual yellow over scrubs before getting out. They could hear the siren of the ambulances coming nearer.

"Grey, don't let them just stand here!" Bailey said when the vehicles stopped in front of us.

"Let's move people," Meredith said with a strong voice.

Helena followed her with Bailey to the second ambulance. The paramedic introduced them to the patient.

"Nancy Walters, 34 years old, 35 weeks pregnant. Complete upper arm amputation. Pressure applied. Two large-bore IV's started."

It was not pretty to see but the Shepherd girl had seen worse back in Iraq.

"Did he say arm?" the patient panicked. "My arm is gone?"

"Miss Walters, you're gonna be OK," Bailey assured her. "Grey? Check on the wound."

"I really need my arm," Nancy whined.

"It's gonna be ok Nancy," Helena whispered. "We're gonna fix your arm and you and your baby are gonna be ok."

"Shepherd, there is no time for small talk," Bailey said harshly. "Get her in quickly.

Meredith and Helena drove the stretcher inside.

"Get out of the way!" Meredith said to an intern who was standing in their way.

"Are you Meredith Grey?" the intern asked.

Meredith nodded quite annoyed.

"I'm Lexie."

"Great, now move we have a patient!" Helena throws to her.

"Lexie Grey," the intern continue." Uhm ...I'm your sister."

Meredith stands still a second with opened mouth.

"Come on Mer, we have to get her in!" the Shepherd girl shouted.

* * *

A few minutes later, Nancy was lying in a trauma room where both girls were checking on her baby with George.

"See that girl out there? The dopey wide-eyed one?" Meredith said to George pointing on Lexie who was running around in the ER. "Apparently, we're related."

"You met Lexie?" George asked.

"You knew?" Helena as Meredith inquired.

"I kind of had a lot going on."

Izzie entered the room followed by a bunch of interns.

"This is trauma room one, as you can see, it's… there's a trauma," she was saying to them. "Do you need some help? Please tell me you need some help."

She looked pretty desperate.

"It's a little crowded in here, Iz," Meredith apologizes.

"What do you got?" Mark asked coming in.

"Nancy Walters, complete amputation," Helena cleared.

"Baby looks fine, but she's having some contractions," George said.

"Mind if I take a look?" the plastic surgeon asked.

Izzie leaned close above his shoulder.

"Clean cut," she observed.

"If you want to rub up against me, you gotta buy me a drink first," Mark said with a smirk.

Izzie quickly left the room followed by her interns.

"Hang antibiotics and put on a dressing," he continued. "There's a chance of a good recovery here. Do we have an arm?"

"They're looking for it," Meredith answered.

"My baby has no father," Nancy spoke. "He's already down two arms, so he really needs me to have an arm."

Mark looked over at Meredith and Helena. Both looked determined.

"Get me that arm," he said calmly.

Meredith left the room to make a call for the missing arm. Mark leaned over to Helena.

"It's nice to work with you for one time Froggy," he said.

Helena smiled brightly.

"It's really nice to work in the hospital again," she replied.

"I can't imagine how it was back there," Mark said.

"Not very different," Helena added. "Just that you have to work in the hurry because we had a lot more patients to treat."

"And tell me, did my little Froggy had found a perfect soldier to finish her life with," the plastic surgeon asked.

"No, I wasn't really concentrating on that, you know," the Shepherd girl chuckled.

He didn't know why but Mark felt kind of relieved. A man entered the ER carrying a bloody plastic bag.

"We found an arm in the road," he said. "Here, I bagged that."

"That's my arm," Helena said taking it over with a bright grin.

Sloan smiled. It was good to see her happy again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Nothing great to say**

 **Just enjoy**

 **Kisses**

* * *

Chapter 8

Helena entered Nancy Walter's room for getting her prepped up for her intervention in the afternoon.

"I have good news Nancy, we found your arm," the Shepherd girl said with a smile. "Dr. Sloan is checking right now to see if we can reattach it. Is there someone I can call?"

"There's no … No, I just … I just moved here. I'm all by myself, there's no one. I have no one," Nancy stated sadly turning her face back to the window.

"Well, Dr. Sloan should be here any minute by now," Helena said.

There was a small silence between the two.

"You probably think I am stupid," the patient announced after a few minutes.

"Excuse me?" the black-haired girl asked.

"I wanted a kid and … I was sick of waiting for the right guy so … And my family … In my family, you don't just go out and get pregnant, you know. Now I am alone and I'm having a baby and I don't have a father for that baby and I don't have an arm."

Helena felt sad for that woman. Having a baby alone was something very courageous. Somehow, Nancy reminded her of herself when she left her home and family to live her life with Ryan. And now that she had left him. She couldn't imagine what would have happened if she were gotten pregnant in the whole process. What would have happened to the baby? Would she have left Ryan and raised him alone?

"No, I think you're pretty courageous to do that," Helena said with a small smile. "That's something only a few women can be proud to be able of and you ear all respect for that."

A small smile appeared on the woman's face.

"Ok, here's Dr. Sloan," the Shepherd girl said as she catches sight of her friend.

"Nancy, I'm happy to report that your arm is in a good shape. Dr. Grey, you met before is at the present time cleaning it up a little and then I'm gonna put that arm back where it belongs, Ok?" he asked.

The patient mutter a little ok, seeming relieved.

* * *

Later Helena was with Meredith who was readying the arm for the intervention.

"I can stay forever in Derek's trolley," Helena was saying taking a bite of her sandwich. "I have to find an apartment."

"You know I have a spare room if you want," Meredith said. "Since George moved out, his room is free."

"You're sure?" the Shepherd girl asked. "I mean it would be great but…"

"There's no but, you can move in when you want!" the brown-haired girl said.

"Thanks, Mer, it's very kind of you. Now I just have to get to my foreign apartment to take my last stuff."

A defeated looking Cristina came into the room.

"Still no sign of Burke and you've got a severed arm," she said falling down on a chair.

"Our arm," Helena said. "Our. Get away from it."

"Maybe he's not on today," Cristina sighed.

"Maybe you should just see him," Meredith hazarded.

"Oh, no, no. If I see him, I won't care," the girl added.

"I've seen Derek and Derek have seen me," the brown-haired stated.

"And?" both Cristina and Helena asked.

"Awkward," she answered. "Plus he seems to know Lexie."

"Your sister ?" the Shepherd girl asked.

"Half-sister," Meredith corrected.

"And?" Cristina asked.

"More awkward."

"I'm trying to save Bambi's life. My interns think I'm a loser. And you have a severed arm," Izzie said coming in sighing.

"It's ours!" Meredith and Helena added together.

Alex suddenly burst in.

"Callie's a bitch!" he said.

"Who is Callie?" Helena asked.

"O'Malley hot ortho girl," he added. "She won't let me off my patient. Nothing wrong. He's a nut. You have a severed arm."

"Ours!" Helena and Meredith gave voice.

"Does anybody know about deer," Izzie asked.

"They taste good," Helena replied.

"Evil," Izzie muttered.

The black-haired girl grinned proudly. The door opens squeaking. George was standing in the opening.

"Oh George," Cristina engaged. "Severed arm. Plus, Mer's half-sister is my intern. Izzie's playing Dr. Dolittle. Oh, and Alex hates your wife."

"Dr. Sloan's ready for the arm," he just said turning back slamming the door shut.

Helena raised her arm.

"I'll say it. George is being an ass," she maintained.

"I think it's my fault," Izzie signed. "I said some things and now he's not talking to me."

"Why is he complaining? Chick interns are hot," Alex remarked.

"He's married, Alex," Meredith noticed.

"Yeah, he's married," Izzie sighed.

"You know who's seriously hot? That Lexie girl," Alex smirked.

"Get out," Meredith said. "Before I hurt you."

Cristina and Helena exploded in laugh.

"Crazy," the man said shaking his head and turning back to the door. "I'm going over Callie to Bailey."

"Isn't Callie over Bailey's head?" the Shepherd girl asked.

"Spiritually, Bailey's over everyone's head," Meredith said.

* * *

Cristina met Derek in the hallway.

"I talked to the family, they're on their way," she said.

"Oh good, I've put an OR on hold," he added. "We don't have much time."

"Can I get a progress note?" Cristina required.

"Uh, do you maybe want to have a drink later?" Derek asked.

"What?"

"A drink," he repeated. "Give me one reason why we can't hang out."

"I don't like you," Cristina cleared.

"Is it only because of Meredith?"

"I don't like you because you're you," the girl sighed.

"Hmmm. How is Meredith by the way, is she OK?"

"She's fine."

"Yes, she's always fine, that's her problem."

"We're fine people," Cristina added. "We do fine, we're fine. How is Dr. Burke? I haven't seen him around. Is he off today?"

Derek seemed to think a moment.

"Here," he said reaching a file to a nurse.

"Thank you, doctor."

He turned back to Cristina with a serious face.

"Dr. Burke handed in his letter of resignation two weeks ago. He wanted me to tell you."

"He's gone?" the girl asked unsurely.

"I'm sorry Cristina."

"Well, don't be. I'm…"

"Fine?" Derek ended her sentence.

"Yeah," the girl nodded.

Derek walked away shaking his head.

* * *

Meredith and Helena were getting prepped up for the intervention with Mark.

"So tell me," Helena started. "What is the problem with my brother?"

"There's absolutely no problem with your brother," Meredith said. "Your brother's perfect. I'm the problem. My entire life is the problem, it's a real mess and everybody around me finally leave me someday. My father left when I was little because he had a huge problem with alcohol and he ground another family. My mother had an Alzheimer, she turned completely mad, didn't recognize me anymore and finally died. And now there is my stupid half-sister running around in my hospital. How is that even possible? You know, maybe I was a horrible person in another life and that's all karma."

Helena chuckled.

"Karma is a bitch," the Shepherd girl said. "Don't think about what you've lost, think about what you could have if only you'd accept it. Derek really loves you Mer, you know."

"I love him too," Meredith said.

"So please reconcile and make wonderful babies!" Helena challenged.

Both left the prep room laughing.

* * *

Derek was getting ready for his surgery in the prep room when Mark came in.

"I really am up for a drink, you know. If you need to talk," he said washing his hands.

"What would I need to talk about?" Derek asked slightly annoyed.

"Meredith? You were lucky, man. That girl jerked you around."

"No idea what you're talking about."

"Hey, I'm just… Seemed like you could use a friend about now," the plastic surgeon guessed.

"Meredith's mother never wanted her. And her father was never around. She has a right to be damaged. And us together? It's a big step for her. Her friends get left on the altar. She sees things like this, they don't work. She panics, she wants this, she doesn't know how to have it. And you know what? It's not her fault. Don't talk to me about Meredith. You don't know what you're talking about," Derek rendered.

"Ok, maybe you're right, but I know what I'm talking about when I tell you that you're Helena's not fine. She had big problems with her boyfriend for years, did you know he was hitting on her? How could we have passed up that? And why the hell didn't you stopped her from going to leave for I don't know where, where she could have been killed? What kind of brother are you?" Mark express with a strong voice.

"Do you think I didn't try to stop her?!" Derek yelled. "I begged her to stay but she told me that she wanted to breath again, that she wanted to feel confident and useful again, without that monster constantly wrecking her around. And since she came back, I didn't have the possibility to even talk to her. So don't try to tell me how to act."

He slowly walked to the door.

"And I don't want a friend."

He left, leaving Mark clueless.

* * *

A few minutes later in the OR, Nancy was getting ready for her surgery.

"Ok, Nancy. I want you to count back from 100, ok?" the anesthesiologist was saying.

"No, NO, I am not ready!" Nancy freaked out.

"It's just like going to sleep," Meredith tried to comfort her."

"I can't do this alone," Nancy said moving around. "I don't want to be alone anymore."

Meredith desperately looked to Helena for help. She grabbed Nancy's hand.

"You're not alone," she said.

"No, I'm scared!"

"I know," Helena muttered.

"I'm scared, Dr. Shepherd!" Nancy cried.

"I know," the black-haired girl repeated looking her patient deeply in the eyes. "Like I said to you before, I think it's very brave what you're doing. It's better to be alone and feel like a success that to be in a relationship that feels like a failure all the time."

Helena thought about her previous relationship with Ryan.

"That's what I think," she continued. "So let's just take care of your arm. Then we'll deal with the rest later, ok?"

Nancy nodded before being placed under oxygen. In that moment Mark set foot in the room.

"Let's save this woman's arm," he said.

During the procedure, Mark started to chat.

"Got a big bleeder, Dr. Grey, press and hold right here," he said.

"She's having contractions," George suddenly exclaimed.

"Take a look George, it's probably the stress," Meredith said.

"No, these are strong, two minutes apart," Helena noticed.

"Call OB and get someone in here," the brown-haired continued.

"I don't think there's time to call," George maintained. "Her water broke."

"Call Peds. Get a warmer in here," Mark claimed "Baby's coming. O'Malley get her in stirrups."

"Reverse Trendelenburg?" George asked.

"Froggy, help him with that. And try without the jostling, I'm holding on a major artery here," the attending remarked.

"Ok, Clamp," the young man requested. "Scissors."

"He's handling it," Helena affirmed.

"I got it," George said as the baby started to wail.

"I got him," the younger Shepherd said holding up the baby and carrying him to the warmer. "Great job, George."

"Thanks," the intern muttered.

"Yeah, yeah, we're all heroes. Now, if no one minds, I'd like to get this woman's arm sewn on," Mark uttered.

"Don't be such a grinch," Helena replied smiling under her mask.

* * *

The intervention had succeeded without problems. Nancy and her baby boy were both safe and healthy. Helena was tired and she just wanted to go home. She had arranged with Meredith that she would move in the next day. But before that, she had to pick up her stuff from her apartment. On leaving the hospital, Helena jumped in the first cab she found. He left her at the bottom of her block. At the entrance, she greeted her housekeeper, an old sympathetic lady.

"Miss Helena," the old woman smiled. "It's been a long time. How was it in...where were you again?"

"I was in Iraq, Mrs. Hudson," Helena answered

"Ah, yes, I remember my husband had a mission in Iraq when he was in the army. Have I ever told you that he was in the US….," the lady started.

"In the US Air Force for nearly forty years," Helena continued kindly. "You told me that lots of time."

Mrs. Hudson smiled hampered.

"I'm sorry Sweetie, I forget one or the other things in those days. Like I promised to you, I kept the apartment. But I have to tell you that your friend stayed there too."

She was probably talking of Ryan.

"I mean, you continue to pay, so I hadn't any reason to eject him," the old lady pursue. "I hope you don't mind."

Helena chuckled

"There's no problem. But now I came to take my stuff out and I want to terminate the flat rental. I'll send some movers to pick up the pieces of furniture within the week. Don't hesitate to call the police if Ryan takes time to leave. Is he upstairs?"

"He left twenty minutes ago," the old lady announced.

"Thank you, Mrs. Hudson," Helena thanked. "I'll go up now."

She took the steps up to the seventh floor. She opened the door of the flat. Like the housekeeper had said, everything was still where it has been a year ago except that the apartment was a real mess. There were clothes lying everywhere around. Empty beer bottles and delivery food boxes overlayed the ground. The kitchen looked awful and it looked like the cleaning hadn't been done for months. Like the old lady had said, Ryan wasn't there. Helena headed to the bedroom. The bed was unmade and there, clothes were also lying around. But not only Ryan's. there were also pieces of woman clothes she had never seen. Helena never really had thought about it but in the year she was away, Ryan had probably slept with other women like she had done with Nathan. The girl shook her head and quickly grabbed the biggest suitcase she had and stuffed as many clothes as she could in it. In a large bag, she put books and all her personal stuff that left. When she was in the bathroom to gather her stuff, she heard the rattle of a key in the lock. Shit, Ryan shouldn't have come back so soon. Or so the housekeeper had said. She quickly hides behind the bathroom door. Everything began to fall in Helena's mind. What was she going to do? Through the gap, she could see how her ex-boyfriend came in wavering. He was probably drunk as always. He was carrying a pack of beer that he let fall on the couch before turning on the television. He then disappeared into the kitchen. That was her chance to escape. She slowly walked past the door, trying to make so little noise as possible before he noticed her. Tough luck with her stuff, it wasn't worth the confrontation with her drunk ex-boyfriend. She had nearly reached the door when his voice sounded behind her, making her flinch.

"Where do you think you are going?"


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello, guy's, hope you like this chapter. Warning, there is a part of explicit violence and rape scene. If you want to skip that part its the part in brackets.**

 **Kisses**

* * *

Chapter 9

Ready to go home, Meredith headed to the lift. SHe was tired and she just wanted to go home. The return to work had been much harder than expected. Burke was gone and had left Cristina completely alone. She had avoided Derek the entire day and she felt kind of really bad for having left him without any good reason. He was the right one, she was perfectly aware of that, but maybe, she wasn't meant for him. She was disturbed and she drawing in bad luck. Nevertheless, that didn't hold them from having a great breakup sex ten minutes ago in the on-call room.

The elevators doors opened. A few nurses got out and she gets in. Meredith let her mind wander to Helena. It was good to have her back around. She was a real sunshine. First Meredith had thought that the Shepherd girl would have been angry with her with the whole Derrek story but Helena reacted quite calmly, she tried to understand.

At this point, Meredith couldn't imagine what she went through. Living for months with an abusive boyfriend was something that never ever happened to her. It seems like this hospital was kind of a cemetery for all the broken and desperate souls of Seattle.

The lift stopped on the third floor. Sloan came in.

"Had a bad day?" he asked after a few seconds.

Meredith nodded.

"Are you avoiding Derek?" he continued.

Meredith turned to him.

"What did he tell you?" she asked.

"I don't know if you've noticed but Derek isn't my biggest fan lately," the plastic surgeon chuckled. "You should ask Helena. If there's someone Derek will confide himself in, then her."

The young resident agreed.

"She is piece person," Meredith noticed.

"Yes, she is," Mark said thoughtfully.

When they arrived downstairs, Derek came from the other direction toward them.

"Have one of you seen Helena? We were supposed to meet here 5 minutes ago and she's still not there. And she doesn't answer her phone."

"She mentioned to me that she wanted to gather some of her stuff at her apartment," Meredith said. "She wanted to do it quickly in case her ex-boyfriend came back."

"I think something could have happened to her," Derek sighed pass off his hand on his face.

"Then we should probably go check on her," Mark added.

"Does anybody know where she lives?" the neurosurgeon asked desperately.

"I do," the other man reached out.

The three run to the outside and took Derek's pickup, without really thinking about the tension between them. Helena's life could probably be in danger.

* * *

 **! Explicit violence !**

[Helena was standing in front of Ryan speechless.

"Now answer to me, when had you planned to tell me you were back?!" Ryan shouted.

Helena was petrified. Ryan was scary when he had drunk.

"Do you really think you are going to cope that easily?!" he continued.

In a few steps, he had crossed the room and had slammed the door shut. Helena retreated a few steps. She was really scared. He turned back to her.

"Where were you in those months?!" Ryan raged. "I called at your work, they said you quit. How do you think we are gonna keep this flat if you're not working anymore?"

"You didn't understand why I left, didn't you?" Helena yelled. "Do you really think I was coming back to you? After everything, you did to me? We are not together anymore Ryan, I stopped to love you a year ago, you know!"

She took the few steps that were parting her from the exit.

"What are you thinking you little slut?! Do you really think I'm gonna let you go like this?!" Ryan said grabbing her arm tightly and pulling her back violently. His grab around her wrist was very tight.

"Let me go!" she said with a strong voice trying to pull away.

But he pulled her even closer to him, squeezing his arms around her waist.

"Really, you're hurting me," Helena wailed furiously moving around.

"You know, you're exciting me when you struggle," he whispered in her ear making his grasp around her even tighter.

She desperately tried to get away when he started to kiss her.

"Ryan, really let me go," she implored.

"Oh, you don't to have fun with me?" he said, "That's too bad because I want to have fun with you."

He shoved her violently to the ground. On all four she tried to leak but without success. Helena soon finds herself trapped between the couch and a very angry Ryan. There was something in his eyes that frighten her.

"Ryan, I beg you, stop," Helena said weakly as he slid his hand under her pullover.

She was desperately flapping around when he let his hands wander over her body. In a quick gesture, he grabbed her top at the collar and slowly ripped it off to the bottom. Helena hopelessly tried to hide her bust but Ryan somehow manages to grab her arms and to tied them clumsily together with his belt, exposing, by the way, her nearly naked skin. The black-haired girl began to fear how far the man would dare it. He was now lying atop of her with a mean smile painted on his face.

"Do you know how hot you look right now?" he asked with an evil look.

He leans to her to kiss her but she turned her face away. He let his lips wander over her cheek down her neck to her collarbone and her breast.

"HELP! Can somebody hear me ?! PLEASE HELP ME!" Helena screamed.

Ryan puts his hand over her mouth hushing up her shouts.

"Nobody will hear you, sweetie," he whispered in her ear.

He continued wandering down his lips to her stomach, playing with his tongue, biting in her pale skin, making her let out muffled screams. He was about to open her pants when she finally reached his balls with her knee. Ryan falls back and in that time, Helena manages to get up and tried to escape. But the man comes around quickly and grabbed her feet, making her fall and violently hit the head on the hard floor. There was a loud snap and the Shepherd girl immediately felt lots of blood dripping from her nose. She somehow managed to get up quickly and she runs into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. Exhausted, she let herself fall against the door, breathing loudly, tears dripping from her eyes. Ryan was furiously hitting the door.

"You can stay in here forever Helena!" he shouted.

But Helena wasn't listening.

"Come out immediately or I break that damn door!" he screamed hitting with his fists on the door.]

 **! End of explicit violence !**

* * *

When they arrived at the bottom of Helena's building, Meredith, Derek, and Mark quickly left the car. They nearly run to the door and they met an old lady at the entrance, probably the housekeeper.

"Who are you?" she asked slightly scared of the three unknown people.

"I'm Derek Shepherd," he said. "Helena's brother."

"Where is her flat?" Mark asked. "Quickly!"

"Seventh floor, the door at the right," the poor lady said. "But…"

But before she could say anything, the three had disappeared in the staircase. On the landing of the seventh floor, they stood still. The door to the right apartment was wide open. They had a good view of the messy living room. Mark entered first.

"Helena?" he asked loudly.

No answer.

"Look," Meredith suddenly said.

The two mans turned to her. She was holding up a piece of cloth.

"Isn't that the shirt she was wearing today?" she asked unsurely.

Derek grabs the shirt and lets himself fall on the couch with tears in his eyes.

"Oh my god Helena, my little sister," he sobbed.

"Shut up Derek!" Mark shouted. "Can you stop acting like a child one minute and help located your sister."

Derek stood up.

"Don't tell me what I have to do!"

Mark was ready to respond but Meredith interrupted.

"Shut up! Both of you! Listen."

They could now hear the sound of falling water.

"It's coming from there," Mer said pointing on the door of the bathroom.

The three walked over to the door. It was locked.

"Helena are you in there?" Mark asked knocking on the door.

No answer.

"Helena, it's Derek," her brother tried.

Still no response.

Mark threw himself against the door to open it. After the fifth try, the plank of wood jumped open. Helena was sitting shirtless but still dressed in the streaming shower. She had her head hidden between her knees. There was blood around her.

"Helena, are you ok?" Meredith asked.

Helena slowly puts up her head. She had a big cut on her nose and it was probably broken.

"I'm gonna call the hospital," the girl said.

"I'll call the police," Derek said, relieved that his sister was alive.

Mark was left alone with Helena. Slowly he took up his leather jacket and his shoes and he slid next to her under the streaming water. Immediately, she hides her face in his arms. Mark could feel her small body shaken by sobs. He didn't say anything, he let her cry, just wrapping his arms firmly around her.

* * *

About twenty minutes later the cops had taken everybody's deposition and Helena was sitting at the back of the ambulance, wrapped in a warm blanket. Derek had loaded her stuff in his car. Mark had helped the paramedics fixing her nose. It would slowly grow back together with the time. Meredith had offered to them to stay at hers for the night, considering that neither Derek or Helena was in the shape to drive back to the trolley.

In the car, Helena falls asleep in the backseat. At Meredith's, Mark carried her to the room the girl indicates him.

"It was George's previous room," she said to explain the poor decoration. "But it would become her room when she will move here."

Mark laid the Shepherd girl carefully on the bed.

"There is a couch downstairs if you want to stay," Grey said. "Or maybe you want to stay with her?"

The plastic surgeon nodded. Meredith was about to leave when he suddenly spoke:

"Thank you, Grey," he said.

Meredith smiled slightly before closing the door. Mark turned back to the girl next to him. She absolutely didn't deserve that. She was a good person and she deserved to be treated the same. This guy, Ryan he didn't deserve her. Helena had always been and will always be his little princess. She deserved a nice prince.

He shook his head, he was becoming ridiculous. He once again looked at the sleeping beauty in the sheets. Her bruised nose stick out on her pale face. She seemed really tired. She had big shadows under her eyes like she hadn't slept for months.

After all, that doesn't change the fact that she was beautiful him. Her short dark locks fall over her pretty face. He remembers he once had a big crush on her when he was temporarily living at the Shepherd's when he was younger. With her strong character and her unladylike behavior, she never fit quite well in the Shepherd girl role. To her sisters, she was just an immature little girl but to him, she was the most interesting woman he ever met. And he had to admit that this long-repressed feeling was about to resurface.

* * *

Derek was lying on the couch, trying to find some sleep. He was thinking about the happenings of the evening. How could something that horrible happen to Helena? She certainly didn't deserve that. She was his little baby sister, she was sweet and kind, she merited to be happy with somebody who takes care of her, somebody who truly loves her. Not that disgusting son of a bitch. How could he only dare lay a hand on a girl like Helena? He deserved to die. Basically, Derek was against the death penalty. He was just the opinion that some crimes required important penalties.

The sound of somebody walking down the stairs made him stop his thoughts. Meredith appeared at the foot of the staircase.

"How is she?" he asked sitting up.

"She's still sleeping," the woman answered crossing the room to let herself fall next to him. "Mark is staying with her."

"Good," the surgeon said leaning against the couch back.

"It's my fault," Meredith sighed deeply. "I should have escorted her."

Derek turned to the woman next to him.

"No, it's not, if you had been there, he probably would have hurt you too."

"But at least, I would have called some help and he wouldn't have done to her whatever he had done," Meredith said with tears in her eyes.

Derek put his arms around the woman.

"Don't blame yourself for that Meredith," he comforts her. "There is only one responsible person and it's certainly not you."

Meredith slowly parted from him.

"Thank you, Derek," she said with a quiet voice and a slight smile.

He leaned forward to kiss her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys,**

 **first I have to thank the guest user Patys for all the kind reviews. If you read that, it would be easier if you'd create yourself an account so I can answer to you.**

 **This chapter isn't amazing but what do you want.**

 **Kisses and enjoy the reading**

* * *

Chapter 10

When he opened his eyes, Derek immediately noticed the woman lying next to him. Meredith was sleeping deeply. After the short chat, they had the previous evening they had ended up again having another round of torrid breakup sex. He knew that it wasn't healthy for their relationship if there was still one. Meredith gave the impression that she was not ready to have something serious in that moment. He was sure that somewhere very deeply, she had some feeling for him but it would take time for her to admit it. Maybe he should start to date other women, to make her realize how much he really holds him.

Derek decided to stand up. If somebody finds him in Meredith's room, they would start to ask questions. He quickly dressed up before leaving the room. In the hallway, he had nearly reached the stairs when the noise of an opening door make him turn around. Mark was standing in the opening of Helena's room. When he saw him, Mark was about to say something but Derek shows him to shut up. Downstairs, as Derek was making some coffee, he felt Mark's look on him.

"Go on, say what you have to say!" the neurosurgeon said annoyed.

"So, you and Meredith were up all night doing the horizontal salsa?" the other man chuckled.

"Mambo," Derek replied. "It was horizontal mambo. And Meredith and I are just friends."

"Sex friend," Mark added smirking.

"You're the most juvenile human being I've ever met," the black haired one sighed taking a sip of his hot coffee.

"You know that the first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem."

"How many nurses you slept with this week?"

"That's not a problem, man. That's an adventure," the plastic surgeon replied.

Derek shook his head.

"How is Helena?" he asked more seriously.

"She's still sleeping yet," the other one answered. "Do you think she'll be fine?"

"I don't know," the Shepherd brother sighed. "I can't imagine how she is feeling right now."

"Is there a possibility to find that bastard?" Mark asked clenching his hands into fists.

"If Helena decides to press charges the cops may be willing to help us," Derek explained. "But most of the time, the cases of domestic violence are buried."

* * *

When Helena woke up later that morning, the house was completely empty. Everybody must've been gone to work. She felt so tired and those free days will be beneficial.

She let her mind wander to the event of the previous evening. Ryan had been hitting on the bathroom door for a while, scaring her to death. But now the nightmare was over, or so she hoped. Ryan runs away and she would never get back to him. She knew that whatever will happen from now on, she could count on her brother, on Meredith, and on Mark to back her. For the first time since long, she felt like she belongs somewhere.

Since she was forced to stay home for a few days, why not benefit from it? She left her bed and headed to the bathroom to run herself a bath. Lying there, in the hot water with a good book was something that not had to happen for long. In that moment she knew she could relax, Ryan was not gonna find her here.

After her long bath, she decided to attend to the work of unpacking her stuff. She has stored her clothes in the drawers when she found a small envelope under a pile of jeans. Intrigued she sat down on her bed, wondering what was inside of it. From the paper shell, she pulls out a pile of old pictures and letters she had collected back in high school. First, she saw a picture of her with her brother in the kitchen of their house, baking a cake for their mothers birthday. She remembered that it ends with them fighting, throwing eggs and flour at each other. Then there was a photo of her sitting on Mark's first motorbike, wearing his helmet and his oversized leather jacket. Since today she never lost the wish to one day have her own. The next picture was one with all her sisters. She never felt very close to Kathleen, Nancy and Liz, her older sisters. The age gap between them was quite significant and she never had the impression that she was on the same wavelength with them. She was much closer to her sister Amelia, mostly because of the fact that they had only 2 years difference. They were in the same schools at the same time and they were each other's best friend. When she left, Helena missed Amelia the most. Thinking back, her four sisters shared a similarity she hadn't; they had all, at some point in their youth, slept with Mark. She remembered hearing Nancy say something like sleeping with him was a rite of passage. To Helena, he had always been Derek's best friend, her confident and at some point, her secret crush. But she never allowed herself to show any sort of feelings because she knew Derek would've never permit it.

* * *

In the late evening, Helena was sitting in the waiting area, waiting for Mark to come down. They had decided to pick up some food and watch a movie together to clear the mind of the girl. Helena had spent the entire day at Meredith's, alone, unpacking some stuff and hanging around, not really knowing what else to do. She had realized that she barely had a life outside of the hospital. It's true, the few free time she had was spent with doctors, she didn't have any friends outside of the hospital. Actually, she's never been the girl with lots of friends. The people back at school used to call her Solo. Quite sad. Helena raised her eyes to look at her. The waiting room was filled with people in anticipation from news of their related or friends. They all looked tensed, stressed that something bad could happen. People who don't even know each other, started to chat, comforting themselves mutually. Helena's attention focused on a man who was sitting a few seats away from her, sadly looking in his empty coffee cup. He doesn't look tensed or full of hope like the others. No, his face was emotionless, he looked straight in front of him, not paying attention to what happens around him.

Helena stood up, picked two coffee cups at the device and sat down next to the stranger the holding him out the steaming cup.

"Drink, you'll be better," she said.

The stranger looked surprised. Nevertheless, he accepted gladly the hot beverage.

"Thank you," he said.

His voice was as emotionless as his face was. He had mid-long dirty blonde hair, a short beard, and piercing green eyes.

"Are you waiting for somebody? Or are you a patient?" he said pointing to her covered nose. "Aren't you too young for plastic surgery?"

Helena chuckled.

"No, I fell in the stairs and I broke my nose," she said. "And by the way, I'm 26."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to insult you," he said with a weak smile. "So you're working for someone

"A friend of mine," Helena answered. "He's working here. And you, why are you here if I can ask?"

"For my wife," he answered.

"Understand," the Shepherd girl replied. "Is she in the OR right now?"

The man shook his head.

"No. She is in the coma for months now," he explained.

"I'm sorry," the girl apologized. "I didn't want to..."

"Yeah I know," the stranger said harshly. "You're sorry, that's what everybody said!"

Helena frowned her brows.

"I just wanted to be nice sir," she said standing up, ready to leave.

But the stranger softly catches her wrist.

"Look, I'm sorry that I've reacted that brutally," he sighed. "It's just that…. Since months now, I hear people around me telling me how sorry they are and that they hope Kate is gonna wake up soon but deep inside of me I know it's not gonna happen."

Helena let herself fall back on the seat.

"It's true that the chances are very low," she said.

The stranger gave her a strange glance.

"I'm working at this hospital," she explained. "And from my experience people that are in a coma for that long have only minimal chances to wake up."

"That's what the surgeon who follows her told me," the guy said. "He tried everything."

"What is his name?" Helena enquired. "Maybe I know him."

"Uhm...Dr. Shepherd if I remember well, a neurosurgeon."

A small smile appeared on her lips.

"Actually, I know him pretty well," she said. "It's my brother."

"Which one are you? The one from Los Angeles, Boston…. Or the one that disappears?" he asked joking.

"He told you about all of us?" Helena asked surprised.

The man nodded.

"I'm Helena, the one who disappeared," she said, stretching out her hand. "Nice to meet you!"

"James, James Ford," the stranger said shaking her hand smiling.

"Froggy," you're ready to leave?" a voice asked above their heads.

Mark was standing on the stairs.

"Froggy?" James asked turning back to Helena.

The girl chuckled.

"Long story," she replied. "It was nice to meet you, Mr. Ford."

"It was a pleasure to meet you too, Ms. Shepherd," he added with a bright smile.

Helena stood up and caught up her friend in front of the lift.

"Who was that?" Mark asked suspiciously.

"His wife is a patient of the hospital," Helena explained. "He's nice."

Mark mutter something intelligible as they get in the lift.

"Have you heard about Derek wanting to go out with other women?" he asked.

"What? But why would he do that?"

"So he didn't tell you?"

Helena shook her head.

"Well, Derek and Meredith had an argument in front of everyone this afternoon," Mark explained. "Derek seemed pretty fed up that she ward him constantly and he said something about dating other women to make her react."

"I don't think it's the good solution to rush her," Helena sighed. "She needs time and is stupid if he doesn't get that."

"So you're choosing her side?" Mark asked smirking.

"If it has to be so, yes. She's my friend and I totally get her point, " she answered pretty determinedly. "So, let me guess, Chinese food and a…"

"Horror movie," the man completed smiling.

That had become their routine years back when she still was in high school. After his late football training, Mark often came by at the Shepherd's and had spent evenings with the youngest Shepherd eating Chinese food and watching the scariest and goriest movies that had ever been brought on screen. Helena was a real scaredy-cat, she let herself fright by every little sound and that's what Mark always had found funny with her.

* * *

Both were now at Meredith's, slumped on the couch in front of the TV, eating their fried noodles and spring rolls. During the movie, Helena couldn't help but comment the actions of the main actress.

"Can you explain to me why the feminine character in the horror movies always have to be that stupid, naive, half-naked and screaming like hysterical?" she asked her friends.

"That's what's called a slasher Froggy. For what the half-naked part goes, most of the people who watch this movie are men who had unsatisfied needs," Mark chuckled taking a sip of his beer. "But that's not my problem."

He said that with a bright smile.

"Mark Sloan, I'm less interest in your sexual life than by why that stupid girl tries to run away from her killer in hiding in a closet," Helena sighed.

"C'mon Froggy, that's what makes a horror movie that bustling," he laughed again.

They spend the rest of the night enjoying the ridiculous screams of stupid teenagers and the whole Ryan story completely cleared out of Helena's mind. Finally, exhausted after having laughed that much, both fell asleep on the couch.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys,**

 **Thanks for all the nice reviews. I'm really glad that you all enjoy the story. This chapter is a bit longer because I didn't really know where to cut it.**

 **Kisses and enjoy the reading**

* * *

Chapter 11

A few days later, Helena woke up with a jolt in the middle of the night after she once again had a nightmare. Since she came back from her mission in Iraq, she had awful nightmares bringing her back on the battlefield but instead of treating soldiers or natives like she used to, her patients took the appearance of her friends, her family. In those bad dreams she felt like she didn't possess the ability to save them, she saw them die on the table. This time, she was desperately trying to operate her brother, only that she was standing in front of his open skull case no knowing what to do. She was getting fed up with these dreams of the army. Maybe she had PTSD like so many others before her. She should probably go to a shrink.

Shaking her head making her bad thoughts vanish, she stood up and got down the stairs. The kitchen was enlightening. She obviously wasn't the only one who struggled to find some sleep. Izzie and Alex were sitting at the table carving some pumpkins. Meredith was currently filling some weird stuff from a strange urn in a plastic baggie.

"What is that?" she asked.

The three turned to her.

"Couldn't sleep?" Izzie asked.

Helena nodded sitting down next to the blonde.

"So, what's in the bag?" the dark-haired pursue.

"My mother," Meredith said emotionless.

The three others turned to her with weird looks.

"Happy freakin Halloween!" Alex declared.

* * *

Later in the morning, all the residents were sitting in their locker room watching Meredith looking for a place for her mother's aches. Suddenly, Cristina came in.

"What are we looking at?" she tossed to Helena.

"Meredith put her mom in a baggie and brought her to work," Izzie said thoughtfully.

"I had to get her out of my closet. She was haunting me," Meredith justified herself.

"And now she is haunting us all," Alex chuckled.

"I'm putting her to rest," Grey added.

"Meredith is cleansing," Sydney Heron declared. "In tribal culture when one wants to cleanse the past, one cuts of all of one's hair and buries it in the earth. You might try that too."

Helena shook her head. This girl was definitely cuckoo. Callie came in, closely followed by Bailey.

"Ok, listen up," the ortho surgeon started. "Today is a holiday, which means the pit will be overrun. You've got the usual drunken stupidity.

"And then you've got Seattle's annual chainsaw pumpkin carving contest," Bailey added joyfully.

"I love this city," Alex tossed to Helena.

"Stay on your toes," Callie continued. "Stay on top of your interns, ok?"

"So we should round before the pit?" Izzie asked.

"Direct your questions to Dr. Bailey, Stevens," Callie remarked coldly.

"Oh, we're directing our questions to Dr. Bailey," Cristina questioned surprised.

"Oh no, not you," Callie said. "No, just Stevens."

"Why should Stevens be directing her questions to me?" Bailey asked.

"Because she's been sleeping with my husband," the ortho surgeon retorted.

Everybody looked surprised to the blond who was looking as innocent as possible.

"Alright, then. Have a good day," the ortho surgeon said leaving the room.

As soon as the door was closed, all the resident's turned to Izzie who let out a nervous chuckle before leaving the room hastily.

"This is even more disturbing than your bag full of mommy," Cristina sighed to her best friend.

"What does everyone found on O'Malley?" Helena asked Alex.

The young man shrugs his shoulders before heading out of the room too.

* * *

After her round, Helena stopped at the information desk to fill up her files. She was still intrigued by the encounter with the men of the eve. He looked nice, it may be a good idea to see him again.

"May I ask you a question?" she asked a nurse who was sitting at the computer. "Do you have a young woman in coma for months in your files?"

The nurse looked up at her.

"Do you have any name Dr. Shepherd?" she asked.

"Only her last name," Helena answered. "The name's Ford. And I think that my brother treated her."

"I have a Kate Ford in the intensive care neurology unit," the young woman declared after a few clicks. "She's in coma for 8 months by now and she's staying in room 456."

"Thanks."

"It was a pleasure to help, Dr. Shepherd," the young nurse said turning back to her work.

Helena was diving back in her file as Mark arrived at the desk.

"Good Morning!" he said cheerfully with his bright white smile to the red-haired nurse who was sitting there, reaching her a file.

The young woman, Helena remembered her calling Olivia, throw him a black glare.

"Don't do that," she said. "Don't smile at me."

"Don't smile at her. Don't smile at me either," the nurse Helena was talking to came to help.

"We're on to you," Olivia pursue.

"We compared notes," the other one added.

"Compared notes. Really?" Mark raised surprised.

"Mm-hmm. Compared notes, compared pick-up lines, compared techniques," Olivia listed up.

"Techniques?" the plastic surgeon inquired.

"Identical!" both replied.

"Identical?"

"We formed a club, Nurses United Against Mark Sloan," the red-haired continued.

"Are there any, uh…. club activities?" the man asked leaning above the desk.

The two nurses looked at each other before turning away. From where she was, Helena hush up a laughter.

"That's not funny," he protests.

"Actually it is," the Shepherd girl chuckled. "By the way you handle with women…"

Mark put on an insulted face.

"Me? No, I'm a real gentleman," he said with a fake serious voice.

Helena shook her head. It's true Mark wasn't the perfect man, he was flirty and not very faithful, but she, however, liked him how he was. The surgeon turned around as he saw Derek arriving.

"Oh, man. You wouldn't believe what just happen to me," he said to his friend.

"There's a … kid looking for you," Helena's brother announced.

"What?"

A young boy appeared from behind Derek's back. He stared at Mark.

"Daddy?!" he asked surprised.

Mark stretched his eyelids in surprise.

"What?!"

This time Helena burst out in laughter not caring about everybody looking at her. The kid then throws a complicit look to Derek who put out a banknote out of his coat laughing.

"Nicely done," he chuckled at the boy.

"I'll be getting you back for that," the plastic surgeon warned.

"Looking forward to it," Derek aid chuckling away.

* * *

Helena was heading down to the pit looking for her next case. A nurse indicted her a bed surrounded by curtains where she was needed. The Shepherd girl put the curtain by side to see Alex taking care of unbuttoning the shirt of a young nice looking woman. Helena immediately draws the curtain back in place.

"Sorry wrong curtain," she said embarrassed.

This hospital looked more and more like a charming hotel. Shaking the head she looked over to her next patient. It was a young man with amputated fingers.

"It was awesome," he was saying. "It was the sickest pumpkin head you ever saw."

"So, you were cutting a pumpkin with a chainsaw when you cut your finger?" the dark-haired girl asked cleaning the wound.

"Yes, but then, the next thing you know it's like, blood gushing and it totally stained my pumpkin head," he explained amazed.

"You don't say," Helena remarques.

"Made it even sicker, though," the young man added smirking.

"The best Halloween prank I ever made was to do like my head was cut off by a fake guillotine when I was 12 or so. My mother nearly had a heart attack," the Shepherd girl reminded herself. "My brother spread fake blood everywhere, that was amazing."

The guy pursue.

"I bought it in, the digit I mean."

"Oh, you have the finger?"

"Yeah," he said proudly. "But it's like lodged in the chainsaw."

He leaned to the side of the bed.

"Wait! It was right here, who took my saw?" he asked. "Does anyone has seen my chainsaw?"

They started to look around for it when there suddenly was a loud chainsaw sputtering.

"Stay here," Helena ordered her patient pulling off her gloves.

She runs in the direction of the noise.

"What is that?" Cristina questioned crossing her way.

"I have no idea," the old intern who was following her added.

They reached the place of the noise. Bailey arrived and draw the curtain of a bed. There was a man sitting on the bed trying to cut off his foot with chainsaw. There was flood flooding everywhere and splashing everybody.

"Dude, sick," Helena muttered receiving a black glance from Bailey.

* * *

The guy had been transported to a trauma room where Torres and Sloan were trying to find a way to handle.

"The tibial nerve is shot. There's nothing salvageable here," the plastic surgeon muttered.

"Completely mangled," Torres confirmed. "Can't believe he held that saw to his leg long enough."

"Was he high?" Helena asked. "Who's patient was it by the way?"

"Mine," Bailey answered. "And no, I gave him some morphine for the pain, but the tox screen was clear before that."

"Unbelievable," the Shepherd girl sighed."

"Alright, I'll finish the job," the ortho girl added. "Yang! Go ahead and prep him for a complete amputation."

"Thank you, thank you so much," the patient on the bed said weakly.

Standing on the side with Callie, Helena took off her coat.

"I heard about your marriage," she said to the ortho surgeon. "I'm really sorry."

"Oh, you are?" Callie asked raising her brows. "Aren't you friend with Izzie?"

"Because I'm hanging out with her doesn't mean that I particularly appreciate her," the Shepherd girl remarked.

"Get it," Torres nodded smiling. "You seem nice. Maybe we can go and get drink together one day."

Helena smiled back.

"In the case, there's anything you need me to do to cheer you up, I'm around," Mark said as he walked behind them. "Day or night. Night in particular."

Helena chuckled.

"He said that because he is in need because the nurses made rebellion against him," she cleared.

Torres nodded smiling.

"I'll call if I need you, Dr. Sloan," she said walking away.

Mark looked her back, checking her up. Helena shook her head.

"You're impossible," she said.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Can't you imagine have a discussion with a woman without having the intention to sleep with her?" she asked.

He looked like he was thinking for a moment.

"No!" he then said throwing his coat in the bin and leaving.

Helena sighed desperately.

* * *

The Shepherd girl had stopped at her locker room to change in new scrubs because hers were drenched in the "men who cut his feet of" 's blood. She was changing as the door opens. She instinctively grabbed a piece of cloth to hide. But it was just Alex.

"Hey, you," she greeted him dressing up.

He let himself fall down on the wooden bench in the middle of the room.

"Is everything fine?" she asked.

He moaned loudly wishing his face with his hands.

"I have a strange relationship with that girl, one day she tells me she wants to be with me, then she tells me about how beautiful her baby is. But she's married and I can't help but feel bad for the poor man who is waiting for her coming home every evening," he said.

"Understand," Helena said not really knowing what to say.

"Father or husband?" he suddenly asked.

"What?" the black haired girl stunned.

"The marks," Alex pursue. "Don't even try to deny, I have the same."

He pulled up his shirt, revealing his muscular torso interspersed by thin white scars.

"How did you…?" the girl started.

"My father was an alcoholic and I always put myself between him and my younger siblings."

"Sorry Alex, I didn't know," she said clutching a hand to her mouth. "It was my boyfriend," she said. "We were together for awhile and it just went worse and worse until I left for Iraq."

Alex was listening attentively.

"We are much more similar than I could have thought McArmy," he said with a small smirk.

Helena smiled weakly at him up.

"Everything is gonna be fine with Ava I hope," she said. "Friends?" she asked holding out her hand.

"Sure", he said with a bright smile.

* * *

Later that day, Meredith was standing in the elevator with the pro-bono-surgery kid, watching Derek talk to Sydney Heron. The resident was giggling like an in love teenager.

"Think she's pretty?" Meredith asked the kid raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I like cheerful people" the boy nodded.

"I can be cheerful," the brown-haired girl protests.

"I think the ashes thing makes that kind of unlikely," he remarked.

"I think he's right," Helena said walking right behind them.

The elevators arrived and all three get in.

"I'm Dr. Shepherd," Helena said stretching out her hand to the kid. "I'm the sister of the guy Meredith was idolizing."

Meredith punched her in the shoulder and the kid chuckled.

"How far are you with the pro-bono-surgery?" the black-haired girl asked her friend.

"Sloan is in, the Chief gave his approval so we have an OR and now I just need some nurses, Grey checked on her board.

"You should ask Bailey, she'll help, I'm sure," Helena suggested.

Meredith nodded.

"And try not to worry too much about Derek," the other girl assured her. "He will get past it, I know him."

And she got out of the lift.

"What does she mean?" the kid asked.

"Long story," Meredith sighed as the door closed.

* * *

Helena was heading to the cafeteria to have a lunch when she suddenly bumped into someone.

"I'm sorry," she hasty said leaning forward to pick up the files that had fallen down.

When she looked up, she recognized the man she met the day before.

"Mr. Ford, what a surprise!" she said with a smile.

He seems to recognize her to because a wide smile was drawn on his face.

"Ms. Shepherd, I'm glad to see you again!" he said cheerfully.

"I was heading for a coffee, care to join me?" the woman asked.

"I'm really sorry but I have an appointment," he said smiling sadly. "But what about a dinner in the next days?"

Helena was gladly surprised.

"Yes sure," she nodded.

"Call me," he said reaching her his card and disappearing into the lift.

Helena stood there with a stupid smile on her face. Was it really a good idea to go to have dinner with that guy. She barely knows him. And was it even ethical? He was married and his wife was in coma. But he suggested the meeting to her. So why not give it a chance?

Her thoughts were interrupted by someone questioned her from behind. Derek was walking in her direction.

"Are you often flirting with my patients dear sister?" he asked reaching her a cup of coffee.

"I wasn't flirting," his sister said falsely offended drinking a sip. "And theoretically he isn't your patient. He just invites me to dinner."

"It's good, he is finally considering to see other women," Derek said.

"What do you mean?" Helena questioned.

"His wife is in coma since months now, with very few chances to survive and in that time he never date anybody else."

"What would you do if the woman you love finds herself in coma for awhile and you don't know if she's gonna wake up?" the black-haired girl asked.

Derek thought about it. The woman he loves. He instinctively thought about Meredith. She was the one he could imagine getting old with.

His thoughts went disturbed by her sister's moan.

"Oh, not her," she was sighing quietly.

Sydney Heron was walking by.

"Dr. Shepherd, were there actual Shepherds in your lineage?" the resident asked Derek completely ignoring the Shepherd sister.

"I'm sorry what?" Derek asked.

"Shepherds, you know, the ones who watch over sheeps. I'm into genealogy. My name for example, not actually after the bird," Sydney explained.

Helena hardly tried to not laugh.

"I'm sorry, would you excuse me?" Derek asked.

"Of course."

"Thank you."

The two Shepherds quickly walked over to Mark. Helena burst up into laughter.

"OMg, she's so into you!" she said wiping tears away.

Mark laughed.

"You did this," Derek accused.

"Payback is a bitch," the plastic surgeon replied.

"What the hell did you tell her?" Helena asked chuckling.

"Put the word out that you were lookin'," Mark chuckled.

"That I'm looking?" the chief of neuro questioned more seriously.

"Lookin' sounds way dirtier without the G."

"And you still wonder why the nurses formed a club?" the girl smirked.

Her pager biped.

"You heard about that?" Mark asked.

"Yep," Helena answered walking away.

* * *

Mark and Meredith were getting prepped for the intervention on the child with no ears. Meredith had managed to gather together an anesthesiologist, a general surgeon, a plastic surgeon, and three nurses to complete the operation.

"You know, I'm impressed," Mark was saying. "I didn't think you'd pull this off."

"I'm actually pretty surprised myself considering this was my first-time trick or treating," the resident added.

"Your first time?" the plastic surgeon questioned.

"Yeah, my mom never made it home to take me. Never got it together to make me a costume. Plus she said it was rude to knock on people's door and beg for food."

"You should have seen Mrs. Shepherd at that time, she always made the best costumes for her kids. I remember one time, Helena showed up in a fantastic Wonder Woman costume, she looked so sweet, that was amazing," he said getting into the OR.

Meredith stood there for a moment. What would it have been to grow up in a normal family, like the Shepherds?

* * *

The Shepherd girl was heading out of the building at the end of the day to take a breath. It was dark and the sky was sprinkled with stars. She saw Dr. Bailey standing in the middle of the yard speaking on the phone.

"Look, Tucker,... I said I'm sorry…..No I didn't…..No, I….. Tucker….."

He probably had hung up because she shoved her phone back in her pocket. She looked up to the sky before turning back.

"I'm sorry Dr. Bailey, I didn't mean to listen but…" she tried to justify herself as the woman saw her.

"It's ok Shepherd," the small woman cut her on her way back inside.

"Are you alright?" the Shepherd girl asked.

"Yes, it's just….," she sighed deeply taking a seat on a bench. "It's hard to deal with my husband who probably thinks I'm a bad mother. But I mean…. I mean, I'm here late at night, Halloween, helping an earless boy to get ears and my husband wants me to do things the way he wants. I mean I missed my son's first Halloween. And my heart is aching inside of my chest, but you know, that doesn't mean anything. That doesn't count."

She sighed deeply.

"I'm sorry you missed your son's first Halloween", Helena said pulling a hand on the woman shoulder.

"Shepherd, I warn you, I swear if you tell anyone that you saw me like this…"

"I promise Dr. Bailey," Helena chuckled.

The black- haired girl watched the woman disappear the night. Bailey was an incredible person and if her husband doesn't get that, he was really a fool. She was a wonderful woman, an outstanding teacher and from what she heard, an amazing mother. Her husband probably doesn't get right what it means to be a doctor moreover a surgeon. But who was she to judge? The only durable relationship she ever had ended up with her at the hospital.

But now she had her friends, her family and a new guy to date. Nothing will more happen to her.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

About a week later, Helena was woken up in the early morning by loud music coming from Meredith's room. She threw the blankets by side and stood up. Cristina was widely dancing on a loud pop song. Meredith was standing by the side looking bored.

"Is it like a habit to dance like that in the morning?" Helena shouted to cover the noise of the music.

Meredith chuckled.

"It's like a tradition in this house," she explained. "When you're angry, you don't shout, you dance it out."

"So why is she dancing?" the Shepherd girl said yawning falling down on Meredith's med.

"Hahn is making her crazy," Grey answered.

"And why aren't you dancing?" the black haired girl inquired.

"I'm to tensed," Meredith sighed.

"Which is why you should dance," Cristina screamed over the music.

"No!" Meredith protests. "My problem is, I'm sleeping with a man who's dating. I don't care about the woman he dates. I just don't want that there is another woman. That's my problem. If I had any sense I would break up with the breakup sex."

"Shut up! Dance it out!" Cristina called.

Steele hearted, Meredith, started to jump around, moving her arms and hips to the rhythm of the music.

"You know, you should tell him how you're feeling," Helena said thoughtfully. "Derek is an understanding person."

"You're probably right," the girl nodded shaking her head to the music. "I'm gonna tell him I don't want him seeing other women."

"Fine, whatever," Cristina threw.

"I am gonna tell him and I feel good about it," Grey said smiling.

"Dancing makes you brave Mer'," the Shepherd girl said.

But throwing a look at her watch she quickly continued.

"But we're gonna be late with the meeting with Mark if we don't leave quickly."

* * *

At the hospital, Meredith and Helena were heading to the meeting Sloan called in for a new patient as they caught sight of Alex and Lexie kissing in a nearby on-call room.

"Sloan is waiting!" Meredith called interrupting them.

Lexie violently blushed leaving the room and walking ahead of them.

"What about Ava?" Helena muttered to Alex who was buttoning up his scrub.

"What should be about her?" he asked unconcernedly.

"I thought the two of you were making it out," the Shepherd girl wonder.

"We're trying to, but she's married and I'm not into halftime relationships," he retorted.

"So you think that to hook up with Mer's sister will help you out of that situation?" the black haired girl replied.

But before Alex could answer they arrived at the room where Sloan was waiting for them.

"Ok, ladies and gentlemen, this is Nick Hanscomb," the plastic surgeon introduced.

"Hi," Nick added.

He was a young man in the early thirties with red hair and brown eyes.

"Nick was lucky enough to have me remove a large carotid body tumor from his neck," Mark said removing the plaster from his neck showing a think white scar on the pale skin. "That I was able to get clean boundaries is pretty darn impressive," even for me."

"Congratulations," Alex called over everybody.

"Ball-sucker," Helena scoffed.

"Don't interrupt!" Mark called. "Now despite the fact that it was a widely successful surgery, we had to dissect out deep lymph nodes in his neck. There is now only a delicate flap of skin between his carotid artery and the outside world. That said, what am I worried about?"

"I'd think given to the friability of the skin that there's a great possibility that the artery could blow," Cristina jumped.

"Don't worry, I've heard this before," the patient said.

" If that happens, whoever's in the room, I don't care if it's a doctor, a nurse, an orderly, your job is to stop the bleeding, then page me, in that order, are we clear?" the plastic surgeon directed to the group. "Any questions?"

Nobody answered they were all looking quite concentrate on Nick.

"They look scared," the patient noticed.

"They're professionals," Mark answered. "A healthy level of fear is encouraged."

"Ok, then. If I do die, it will have been lovely meeting you all," Nick solemnly said.

"See? The patient is confident, you should be…" Mark was saying turning back to the doctors before being interrupted by the loud ringtone of a phone.

"Whose idiot is it?" the plastic surgeon asked annoyed.

Helena quickly noticed it was hers and quickly pulled it out.

"I'm sorry," she apologized looking up at Mark before hastily leaving the room.

He looked surprised after her.

"Ok people, that's it," he called.

The trainee surgeons scatter slowly. Mark followed the direction Helena took. He found her lying on a stretcher happily chatting on the phone.

"Yes sure, tonight at 8 pm… You'll pick me up ?...Ok, nice….Yes...See you this evening," she said hanging off.

"Who was it?" the man asked reaching her side.

"A friend," the girl answered shoving her phone back in her pocket. "Sorry for the interruption before."

"You're seeing someone?" he asked.

"Yes, you know the man you saw me with a week ago," she explained.

Mark nodded.

"I'm glad you feel ready to move forward."

"Yes, I just want to forget about Ryan and to be happy and have fun again," the Shepherd girl sighed. "And James seems to be a fine man."

"I'm happy for you Froggy," Mark said hugging her tightly.

Sure he was happy that she finally decided to move forward. She deserved to be happy and everything but he doesn't know why he had a strange feeling about her dating again. It may be egoistic but somehow he always hoped that she stayed with him. Both of them together against the rest of the world, like as they were younger.

A loud noise interrupted their moment.

"What was that?!" Helena asked stepping away from her friend.

They saw lots of doctors and nurses running outside in the yard.

"I better go see what's happening," the resident added before running in the direction of the turmoil. In the backyard, two ambulances had crashed together. One had a completely smashed frontside and the other one was fully turned over to the roof. Helena stood there for a moment contemplating the surgeons and nurses provide the best care to the injured people. She saw Meredith and Richard checking on the two drivers of the turned up vehicle.

"Shepherd, don't stay there, go check on the driver!" someone shouted from behind.

Bailey was at the back of the second ambulance, dealing with a paramedic who has thoracic pain. Helena rushed to the front part. A young paramedic was sitting in the driver's place, her head had hit the steering wheel and she had a big bleed from her forehead. The badge on her vest told the Shepherd girl that her name was Mary.

"Mary? Can you hear me?" she first asked checking her pulse.

It was weak but still present.

"Come on girl, wake up. I need help here" she screamed. "Can someone page Torres?!"

"No!" the paramedic Bailey was taking care of called from the back. "Is she dead?"

"She has a bad elbow dislocation and a weak pulse," Helena called.

"She was driving, talking to me. She started convulsing and then we slammed into that rig," the lifesaver explained.

Torres arrived running.

"You page me?" she asked out of breath.

"Yes, she has a bad looking dislocation of her elbow," Helena indicated. "And I think we should ask for a neuro consult, she was convulsing before having caused the accident."

Torres nodded before taking over.

"Send me your brother if you find him!" the ortho girl added.

The black-haired girl nodded before getting back inside. There she saw Izzie and Cristina taking care of a middle age man with a piece of metal in his leg, probably from the accident. She was about to ask for there needs help but in that moment his family arrived.

"Jacob!" the wife called worried rushing to the bed followed by four children. "What happens to your leg?!"

"There was a...a little accident, but I'm OK. It doesn't hurt," he explained weakly.

Helena turned away. The poor man must have enough to deal with four children and a wife who seemed over-panicked.

"Shepherd, can you come over here?" a voice called from the other side of the pit.

Dr. Webber and Dr. Bailey were standing next to the paramedic's bed. Webber seemed furious.

"Bailey I have paramedics hanging upside down," he said with clenched teeth. "Can you handle this?"

He walked away.

"What's the problem?" Helena asked.

"Well, apparently that men want a white doctor," Bailey said with anger.

The petite woman turned back to the patient.

"Shane, I seriously recommend you let this fine doctor examine you. Dr. Shepherd, give him the best medical treatment possible. It's the law," she said walking away.

"Sir, I need you to move your hands," Helena ordered to the man.

Shane sighed before moving his hands from his chest.

"I just didn't want her to see. I thought she might take offense, you know?" he added.

"What do you mean?" the black-haired girl wondered. pulling up his shirt.

"I get it," she then added.

The paramedic had a big Nazi swastika tattooed on the chest.

* * *

Derek was walking in a hallway, catching a sight on the nearly blank surgery board.

"What's going on in the pit?" he asked Rose, a pretty looking nurse who was eating while sitting on the stairs. "They wiped the board?"

"A couple of ambulances crashed into each other in the backyard, I'm canceling electives for OR's for emergent surgeries," she explained.

"Are we friends yet?" Derek asked suddenly.

"I'm sorry?" Rose looked up, not knowing what he meant.

"Friends, are we friends?" the neurosurgeon pursue. "I know I just learned your name and all, Rose. But, I'd like to think I could call you a friend."

"Why?" the woman wondered.

"Because, if I'm your friend, I should probably tell you about the licorice in your teeth," he said with a flirting smile. "Where as an acquaintance, I'd just smile politely and pretend it wasn't there."

He walked away.

"Thank you!" Rose called after him smiling embarrassedly.

* * *

The Shepherd girl had brought Shane to the CT for a scan. Installing him on the bench, she wasn't delicate at all. He groans loudly.

"Go easy, I'm injured," he claimed.

"You've had plenty of morphine," Helena replied harshly. "You'll be fine. It's not like you are in a concentration camp or anything."

"You know when people are young and drunk they get tattoos, they wake up, they regret it," he tried to defend himself.

"Oh, so you regret it?" the woman asked raising an eyebrow.

"You've to treat me like anybody else," the paramedic protests. "That's the beauty of this country."

"Oh, yes it is," Helena sighed. "But when young people usually get tattooed when they're drunk, it's either a heart, a dick or the name of their mother on their ass and not the sign of an abusive ideology," she added sending him in the tube.

* * *

"Ok, the film's are up!" Helena announced as Bailey came into the room.

"Intraperitoneal bleeding," the petite woman noticed.

"His liver looks completely ruptured."

"He's gonna need a laparotomy," Bailey added. "Maybe it will be a little straightforward. You scrub in."

Helena starred a moment on her teacher.

"No."

"What?"

"I'm sorry Dr. Bailey, but I can't work on helping this man getting better," the Shepherd girl protest shaking her head.

Bailey looked at her without understanding.

"Dr. Bailey, do you know why he doesn't want you to touch him? He has a swastika on his abdomen. A giant black swastika."

"Shepherd, you and I will do this," the petite woman added. "We will do this and we will consider our self-having risen above. We'll rise above."

And then she left the room sighing deeply.

* * *

Rose was in the scrub room, storing some stuff.

"Sorry, Dr. Shepherd. I'm running behind today," she said exhaling deeply as she saw him came in. "I'll be out of your way in a second."

"Actually, I'm early, so technically I'm in your way," Derek added smiling brightly.

"Oh, in that case, don't let it happen again," she said falsely serious.

"You're staring at my chest," she noticed.

"What?" he asked looking up.

"I think, maybe, you are intending to admire my ring, but it's coming off as you're staring at my chest."

"Sorry, it's just that...you wear your engagement ring on your necklace."

"When I was engaged, I wear it on my finger. Now, necklace. The stone was my grandmothers. I don't want to lose it," she explained thoughtfully looking at the jewel.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry what?" the woman asked looking up slowly.

"Your engagement. Do you call it off recently?" Derek inquired.

"That's a pretty personal question," the nurse noticed.

"We're friends now. I saved you hours of potential licorice humiliation, I think you can…"

"It ended a year ago," Rose cut. "Nothing to be sorry about. It was never gonna work out."

"How come?" the neurosurgeon wondered.

"Because I was always very clear about what I wanted and he … wasn't. And there's no way to build a future on that."

The door opens letting Helena get in.

"Am I interrupting something?" she asked unsure seeing the pair.

"No, her brother added quickly.

"I was just leaving," Rose said before going through the door.

The Shepherd girl turned to her brother who seemed pretty shaken.

"Is everything alright?" she asked starting to wash her hands.

Derek nodded.

"Are you on Bailey's surgery?" he asked.

"Yes," the girl nodded. "We have to operate on a white supremacist, imagine how she must me right now."

The neurosurgeon chuckled slightly.

"Is that what it is like now?" Helena asked suddenly. "You, flirting with the nasty nurses when Meredith is trying to overcome her fear of steadiness?"

"Do you blame me?" Derek asked sadly looking at his younger sister.

"Well, technically you're still together with her and I think you should wait," she added.

"I think I've waited long enough!" he said loudly before getting into his OR.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Helena was reading the materials and instruments for the surgery as Dr. Bailey came in the OR followed by George. The petite woman climbed on her footboard next to the table and closed her eyes, sighing deeply.

"Dr. Bailey?" the man asked.

"I'm calling on Jesus this time," she replied. "Don't bother me when I'm calling on Jesus. I don't do it very often, he might not hear me."

She exhaled heavily before calling with a shaky voice for the scalpel and cutting into the man's chest.

After a moment, a pager started to buzz.

"It's yours, Dr. Bailey," a nurse called.

The surgeon threw a quick glance at the clock shaking her head.

"Is everything fine Dr. Bailey?" Helena asked.

"No, I'm supposed to be having lunch with my husband and instead, I am elbow deep in a Nazi's gut," she said.

"Yes, ma'am," George added.

"No one better call me "Nazi" again!" Bailey screeched.

"Yes, ma'am," the young intern nodded.

"I never get why you were called like that in the first place," the Shepherd girl asked.

"Well, in the first years of my residency, when I get this klutz interns under my watch," she said gesticulating toward George. "I had the reputation to be a damn good doctor without any feelings, so they called me a Nazi."

"And what changed now?" the dark haired girl questioned.

"I became a mother," Bailey replied.

Helena stared at her teacher.

"What?" the petite woman yelled.

"Nothing. It's just that … Somehow I admire you, you managed to have a fine family while still being a damn good doctor. That's pretty impressive."

"Well, thank you, Shepherd, but let's concentrate back on our patient," she added embarrassed.

"Yes, ma'am!"

* * *

When Helena finally got out of the OR in the late evening, it was exhausted. During the operation, there was a complication. There had been something wrong with the patient's blood pressure and Bailey had had to fix it quickly, making her miss her meeting with her husband.

Helena walked in the hallway as she saw her brother leaving the scrub room closely followed by Rose, the nurse. The young woman had red cheeks and Derek seemed annoyed. As she reached his side, Derek inquired.

"How did the intervention go?" he asked.

"There were a few complications but Bailey managed like a boss."

The man nodded without any emotions and remained silent.

"Is everything okay?" the black haired girl asked noticing.

"I kissed her," he muttered.

"What?!"

"I kissed her," Derek repeated a bit louder, looking around if someone was listening.

"But, was it like a friendly kiss, or something more passionate?" the girl added.

The way Derek looked at her made everything clear.

"I get it," she added. "Are you gonna tell Meredith?"

"It's maybe the best thing to do," the neurosurgeon said shaking his head.

"Do you want something from her?"

"Who, Rose ?" he questioned.

Helena nodded.

" I don't know what but she has something that's attracting me."

The girl didn't answer.

"Don't you have anything to add?" her brother replied. "You usually love to comment everything I do?!

"What do you want me to say, you know what I think of the whole thing, I'm team, Meredith. I think you should order your thoughts and take a decision on your own. And she walked away quite annoyed. Somehow she was angry with both, Meredith and Derek, for putting her in an impossible situation. On the one side, she had her big brother who she loved more than everything, on the other side there was Meredith, an amazing friend. The choice was hard to make. Plus she didn't get right why Derek struggles to understand Meredith's point of view. Though it was simple, she just needed more time.

* * *

Helena was making her usual round in the late evening to check on her post-op patients. It was a moment of the day she really appreciates because the entire hospital was quiet and nearly empty. It was somehow comforting that sometimes, the patients were taking a rest. She was walking down a hallway when she suddenly noticed a small girl standing alone in the middle of the way.

"Are you lost?" Helena asked kneeling down in front of the girl.

"I don't find my mommy," the little girl sobbed.

She had long brown and heavy locks and deep caramel eyes filled with tears.

"Is she a patient?!" Helena asked kindly.

"Yes," the little girl said. "A doctor made a hole in her throat and put in a tube inside."

"That's called a tracheotomy," the Shepherd girl explained. "The tube helped your mother to breath again."

"Tracho- what?" the girl asked.

"Tracheotomy" Helena chuckled. "What's your name sweetie?"

"Abigail," she answered. "But everyone calls me Abby."

"Okay then, Abby, let's find your mother."

The little girl put her small hand in Helena's one. The woman, first surprised, then smiled and started to walk. At the information desk, she asked the on-call nurse about a tracheo intervention on a woman. The nurse indicated to her a room not so far away. As she saw her mother, Abby run to her.

"Mommy!"

"Abby! I was so scared," the mother said.

Helena immediately recognized the woman.

"Anne?" she asked unsurely.

The woman raised her to look to her and a bright smile appeared on her face.

"Lena, I'm so happy to see you!" she greeted her. "Richard told me that you were working here now."

The black-haired girl slightly smiled at the nickname. Good habits always stay.

"What are you doing here?" Helena said sitting down on the edge of the bed. "And where's Chris?"

Anne threw a look at her daughter who was drawing on some charts.

"When Abby turned 3, Chris and I went to work back wit DWB again," the woman said pulling a strand of her white-blond hair behind her ear.

"Did you took Abby with you?" the young doctor asked.

Anne shook her head.

"No, she stayed at my parents in France. She was with her cousins and it was fine. Chris and I were send to Libya. One day like the others, there was an attack on the village we were staying at and everything went out of control," she sobbed.

Helena noticed that she instinctively put a hand on her stomach. Tears were running down the blonde's cheeks. Helena softly squeezed her friend's hand.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," she said.

"I have to," Anne sniffled. "So we were all bought in a prisoners camp along with a few other doctors where they separated men and woman. You have to know that at that time I was pregnant, I was awaiting a boy."

"Anne I'm so sorry," the dark-haired apologized.

"During weeks we didn't hear anything from each other, until … Until that horrible day. We were all taken out of our cells and gathered together in a big place. Chris was all beaten up and he was very weak. The terrorists wanted to take a video to demand a ransom from our respective governments and there… they… they shoot Chris as an example. I lost my baby in the process."

Anne was shaken by heavy sobs.

Abby noticed her mother's state and jumped on the bed.

"Why are you crying mommy?" the small girl asked. "Is it because of Daddy?"

Anne whipped her tears away.

"Yes sweetie," she said patting the girl's hair.

"I miss him," Abby said.

"Yeah me too," the mother sighed. "But now I have to talk to Lena now, would you mind go to the nice social care lady outside."

The little girl nodded and jumping from the bed, she runs to an older lady who was sitting on a seat on the outside of the room. Helena turned back to Anne.

"Social care?" she asked. "Anne tell me what's happening."

"I'm sick Lena," the woman said.

"What!?"

"I have a fourth state pancreatic cancer, extended to the liver, the stomach and a part of my left lug and I'm having my last surgery a few days. If this one is not working I'll probably die within the few months."

When Anne had spoken Helena's eyes had filled themselves with tears.

"Anne, I don't know what to say but how sorry I am," the surgeon sobbed.

"If there's anything I can do to help you..."

"Precisely, there is something I have to ask you," the blond spoke.

"Tell me:"

"I want you to take care of Abby."

Helena was stunned. Did she just hear well?

"Wait, did you mean what I think?" Helena asked unsurely. "Because if you've done, are you insane?" I mean, I don't know how to take care of a child. And what did you told Abby?"

"Abby knows that her mommy is about to have a long trip to join her daddy among the angels," Anne stated. "And she also knows that her mommy has a really nice friend named Helena Shepherd who may host her."

Helena shook her head desperately.

"Anne, listen, I'm single, I'm single, I'm living with other people and I am working all the time, I don't think I'll be able to do it. I'm sorry."

Anne lower the head.

"Then I guess I could ask my sister if she can keep her because if not, Abby will have to go to an unknown foster family."

Helena felt really bad for her friend. Her pager started to beep.

"I'm...I'm sorry, I … I have to go," she hastily said standing up-

"Go, you have patients to treat," Anne said falling back in her pillow with a sad smile.

Helena nodded before leaving the room. She quickly joined the locker room to dress up in her usual clothes. It was a strange feeling that had taken place in her heart at that precise moment. She somehow felt bad for Anne, the woman had helped her in a moment she really needed it and now, she was unable to help her. But Helena couldn't imagine herself raising a child right now. She was barely 27 years old, she was too busy with her residency and with the threat of Ryan somewhere on the loose, she couldn't risk it.

Her head was spinning and she felt the need to talk about everything with somebody. The question was who. Meredith was very busy with the preparation of her clinical trial to have the time to listen to her complain. Alex had enough to handle his relationship with both Lexie and Rebecca, who seemed to be quite unstable. Derek was too preoccupied with how to forget Meredith in one of the nurse's arms to have time with his sister. Mark was probably hooking up with Torres somewhere in the hospital. Helena had a twinge when she started to think about him. Addison would have been the right person at that right moment. Helena regularly got news from her friends in Los Angeles but she missed her a lot. Addison had always been like another big sister, sometimes even a mother of substitution.

Lost in thinking, the black-haired girl arrived at the ground floor without really noticing. It's just when a voice called her that she finally quit her thoughts. As she looked up, she recognized James standing a few meters in front of her and she suddenly remembered the meeting they had.

"OMG, I'm so sorry!" she apologized blushing slightly. "So much just happen today and I…."

"You forgot?" he added with a small smirk.

Helena nodded very embarrassedly.

"Really, you can't imagine how sorry I am," she added.

"There's no problem," James smiled brightly. "I hadn't to wait for that long."

Helena threw a quick glance at her watch, it was nearly half-past eleven, they had planned to met three and a half hours ago.

"Please let me offer, you a drink to seek your forgiveness, I'm not living very far from here," she said with an embarrassed smile.

"With pleasure," the man nodded following her to the outside.

* * *

About 20 minutes later, both were sitting with a bottle of pure Russian vodka in front of a big pizza. Though Helena seemed pretty distracted.

"Wanna talk about it?" James asked.

"Sorry?" the girl said looking up.

"I noticed you were quite distracted, If you want we can postpone our dinner," the man proposed.

"No, no, I'm sorry. It's just….," she exhaled deeply.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," the man added taking a shot of the burning drink.

"Well, a friend of mine had been hospitalisé a few days ago," she started. "She has a wide extended cancer with only minimal hopes of remission."

"I'm awfully sorry," he said. "But what does it have to do directly with you?"

"Well, she has a four years old daughter, a perfect child, very nice and everything and she wants me to take care of her if she came to die," Helena explained.

James paused for just a moment thoughtfully.

"Does the girl not have a father somewhere?" he asked unsurely.

"He died in a mission in Libya."

"Army?"

"Doctor without borders," she added. "And now the girl's alone with nobody in the country. And her mother expects me to adopt her or something."

She sighed heavily.

"Would you feel ready to raise a child?" the man asked filling up their glasses.

The black haired girl shook her head.

"I don't know. It's not like I don't want a child or anything. But I'm not what you can call a real model for perfect life stability."

After she had closed her mouth, she immediately realized she shouldn't have said that.

"What do you mean?" James asked. "You seemed perfectly stable to me."

But before Helena could even think of an acceptable answer, Meredith and Christina came in, followed by Lexie.

"Hey you," Meredith called to her before noticing she wasn't alone. "Sorry, we didn't mean to disturb."

"Don't worry, we were going upstairs anyway," Helena said standing up taking the bottle of vodka with her.

* * *

As soon as the door of her bedroom was closed, Helena let herself fall on her bed. James stood there for a moment, before timidly sitting down next to her.

"And that was…," he started.

"My roommates," she nodded. "Sorry, I should have told you about it. I usually have like two or three more. It depends."

"On what?" James asked.

"On who is staying for the night," Helena said sitting up looking him straight in the eyes.

"Is that an invitation?" he asked with a smirk.

"Maybe," the woman added seductively.

She slowly leaned forward, their face was just a few inches from each other.

"What do you think?"

"Well, I never said no to a beautiful woman," he said laying his lips on her hers.

He slowly shrugged his jacket off and pushed her on the bed. Their lips joined again in a long passionate kiss as he lay on the top of her with a small smile on his face. Helena wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him a little closer. James let his hand wander through her short locks as she started to unbutton his shirt. When he started to slowly roll up her shirt, revealing the marks covering her stomach and breast, he looked like he wanted to ask about it.

"Later," Helena muttered in a moan.

* * *

 **Hope you liked this chapter. Let go out your comments about Anne, Abby** and **James.**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

A few days later, when Helena finally woke up in the morning, it was with an enormous headache. She shouldn't have drunk that much. She slowly sat up on the edge of the bed and put her painful head in her hands. She struggled to figure out where she was before she remembered the previous evening. After a particularly difficult day of work, James had wait for her at the hospital until late in the evening and offered to make her dinner. They went to his apartment where they ate a great prepared dinner, greatly flooded with red wine. After that James had played a piece of music with his guitar, he was an amazing player by the way and they somehow ended up sleeping together.

A lot of things changed in the last few days. Derek had definitely broken up with Meredith and had publicly started his relationship with Rose. Meredith had drawn herself in her work, she was barely home, constantly sleeping at the hospital. Mark remained himself and still tried to seduce Hahn, who seemed to be more interested in Torres than in the plastic surgeon.

James was already upright and judging by the tasty smell, he was making breakfast. Helena stood up yawning and throwing on his shirt from the evening on the way she quickly joined him in the kitchen. He was standing in front of the cooker making some eggs, wearing nothing more than loose jogging pants. He was all sweaty, probably just returned from a run in the park nearby.

"Hey you!" he greeted her as he saw her. ey you!" he greeted her smiling brightly as he saw her.

"Morning," she grumbled sitting down and reaching him a kiss over the countertop. "Do you have an aspirin or something, my head is awfully spinning, she added rubbing her temps softly.

He chuckled before reaching her the medicine and a glass of water.

"The shirt suits you by the way," he added pulling a plate full of food in front of her.

"Omelette à la française for Mademoiselle. I'm not a great cooker so please, be indulgent."

"It's tasteful!" she cheered taking a bite.

"Good, I didn't know what you usually take for breakfast," he exclaimed. "So, anything special up today?" he asked taking a sip of his coffee.

"A good friend of mine is coming to Seattle for a complex intervention on one of our patient," the Shepherd girl explained. "Addison lives in Los Angeles now."

"Isn't she your brother's ex-wife?" James questioned. "The one who cheated on him with his best friend?"

"Exactly, I never thought he would tell you about that," Helena wondered. "Although, we all kept a very close friendship."

"I get it."

He threw a quick glance at the clock on the wall.

"I'll better go shower now if you want me to take you to work in time," he added. "You're joining me?"

Helena smiled brightly.

"I think they won't mind if I'm a little late today," she smirked starting unbuttoning the shirt.

"Want to take a drink at Joe's after your work?" he asked as he stopped his car in front of the building of the hospital.

"Sure, why not," the black haired answered. "See you then," she added grabbing her bag, giving him a last kiss and getting out of the vehicle.

As she was halfway to the door, someone called her in the back.

"Helena!"

The woman turned around to face Meredith.

"Hey you," the dark-haired girl cheered.

"Why so happy?" the other one asked. "Had a good night? Weren't you at James last night?"

Helena blushed slightly while pushing the door.

"So it's getting really serious between the two of you," Meredith added. "I'm happy that you're… well… you know…"

"Move on?" the Shepherd girl questioned. "You can say it, you know."

The Auburn girl nodded embarrassed.

"Have you taken your decision about Abby?" Meredith continued. "Will you take her in?"

"Dunno yet," Helena sighed deeply shaking her head. "I know I cannot leave the child alone but just I don't think I am the right person to take care of her."

Both get in the elevator and stayed silent for a short moment.

"Isn't today the first trial's day?" the Shepherd girl asked.

"Yes," Meredith replied, a bright smile lighting her face. "I'm so freaking excited!"

"I fully understand," the black haired girl added. "I mean, it's amazing, you have your own trial! Well, with Derek of course."

Meredith sighed deeply.

"How are you going to manage with him by the way? Isn't it like really awkward that you two are gonna spend so much time together?"

"We're gonna act professionally," the other girl sighed.

"You know I love my brother," Helena said. "But he's being a total jerk and I'm totally your side."

And she walked out of the lift. In the open space, she spotted her brother happily chatting with Rose. The woman was playing with her hair, smiling very flirtily. As the couple saw her, the nurses walked away.

"You're scaring her," Derek said chuckling.

"All the better because I don't like her," his sister added. "She's so….not your type of girl."

"You say that because you don't approve, don't you?"

"I think Meredith just needed more time Derek," Helena defended her friend. "Just try to understand, her life wasn't very easy and now she struggles to make bounds with anybody."

"Don't you think I tried, Lena?" the man replied losing his smile. "Every time I felt ready to make a step, something happen that hinder her to make a step with me. I even asked her to marry me. And she just stood there without saying anything. So please tell me, Helena, why should I stay focused on somebody who doesn't want to move ahead if I can meet someone who is ready to give me that what I want from her. Tell me!"

And he walked away. She watched him leave sadly.

"Because you love her," Helena mumbled shaking her head.

The Shepherd girl stayed there for a moment sighing as a voice in her back called her.

"Hey, honey!"

She quickly turned around to face Addison who was standing right behind her.

"Addy, I'm so happy to see you!" Helena said with a big smile painted on her face.

The two woman hugged tightly.

"I'm glad to be here honey, and also glad to see you find the way to the medical path again," the red-haired said. "Love the new haircut by the way!"

Helena shook her head to move her short black locks.

"Memory from Iraq," she added.

"You have to tell me more about that by the way," her friend added. "Your work with Doctors without Borders and your time in the army in Iraq. And have you met someone in that long time?"

Helena blushed slightly.

"I'm dating someone," the black-haired girl explained. "His name's James, he is nice and cute and everything."

"And when can I have the possibility to meet that perfect man?" Addy chuckled putting an arm around her friend's shoulder.

"He's picking me up tonight for a drink at Joe's," Helena stated. "Wanna come?"

"Yes, absolutely," the older woman nodded.

"I would be glad to stay with you for hours but you'll have to excuse me, I have rounds to do," the Shepherd girl apologizes. "It was good to see you!"

"It's good to see you too honey," Addison chuckled. "It's good to see that nothing changed here around!"

Helena slightly shook her head walking away.

"If only you knew how wrong you are," she muttered.

After having changed in her work clothes she walked straight to the resident's office to check on her affectation for the day. There she crossed over Torres who was finishing her morning coffee.

"You're with me today!" the woman said cheerfully.

She obviously had a good night, Helena thought. Probably with Mark.

"You look tired Shepherd," Torres inquired. "Had a long night?" she added with a smirk full over undertone.

"Well, I was with a friend yesterday and we kind of drunk pretty much," Helena explained yawning.

"But you're ready to work?" the ortho resident worried furrowing the brows.

"An aspirin and I am ready," the younger woman nodded.

"So tell me more about your friend," Torres said as they started suturing the patient's leg. "Is he working at the hospital?"

"No, he's an attorney at the city hall. His wife is a patient of this hospital. She's in the coma for months for now," the Shepherd girl added as she saw Torres's disapproving look.

"And is it serious? Between you and him I mean."

"I don't know yet, we started dating only a few days ago," Helena explained.

"But you like him?"

"He's amazing, he's nice and kind-hearted and everything. But I don't know if I am ready for a new relationship."

"I'm sure you'll soon be," the woman added with a comforting smile.

Mark was in a lab as Addison came in smiling.

"Hey you," she said leaning against the door frame.

"There she is!" the plastic surgeon cheered.

" Just coming to check on my patient's skin flap," the woman added walking forward.

"Amazing, right? Pulled a couple of stem cells from the baby in utero, six weeks later I have grown skin. Just like God."

"Nice," Addy nodded.

"What do you say we lock the door and tear one off for old time's sake?" Mark added turning his seat to face her.

"This place is exactly the same," the red-haired chuckled shaking her head. "You're exactly the same."

"Except now I grow skin for babies. Like God. Come on, I'm horny. The nurses are shutting me down," he said with puppy eyes.

"Aww, so the infamous God of surgery still haven't found the fine match?" the obstetrician questioned crossing her arms over her chest, leaning her back against the table Mark was working on.

"It's not like my principal goal right now," he said turning back to his work.

"Oh, come on, there must be someone somewhere waiting for you," Addison added. "How is Helena by the way? She seems to feel better than when she left for Iraq."

"She grew stronger," the plastic surgeon nodded. "Her time there changed her."

A small silence took place between the two. Mark seemed thoughtful.

"Anyway, thanks for my skin flap," the woman said finally walking out.

"Is that a euphemism?" he asked with a smirk.

"Nope," she called on his back.

In that time, Helena had finished her work with Torres and was checking on Anne and Abby taking her break. She walked over to the room that her friend occupied. The woman was currently asleep in the hospital bed. She was very pale and seemed very tired. There was a noise of the water tap coming from the bathroom and Abby appeared from behind the door.

"Hey you," Helena greeted her with a bright smile.

"You're Lena, aren't' you? You're mommy's friend?" the little girl asked.

"Yes I am," the Shepherd girl laughed. "How was your mom this morning?"

"Not fine, she cought very often," Abby said sadly.

"I am sorry sweety."

"Can you take me with you today?" the girl asked. "Can I see the hospital?"

Helena threw a look at the social care lady who was sitting on a seat next to the bed. The older woman nodded. The surgeon turned back to the little girl.

"Let's go!"

Abby slid her small hand in Helena's one and followed her out of the room. Helena was first very surprised by this sudden outburst of affection. She showed her around.

"So this is where we are doing a big picture of the body to see if the patients have any fractures or bleedings in his body," the Shepherd girl explained in the CT.

"So if I go in this tube, you will be able to see if I have a broken arm or something?" Abby asked with big bright eyes. "Can you show me?"

"I'd like to, sweetie by the scans are very expensive," Helena added.

She then showed her around in the exams rooms, the prep rooms and the different OR's. In the cafeteria, they met Meredith, Izzie, Alex, and George who were sitting at a table having lunch.

"Guys, may I introduce you, Abby," Helena said sitting down to them. "She the daughter of the friend I talked to you about."

"You seemed nice," the little girl decided to look at Meredith who was eating her salad.

Meredith smiled at the girl. Cristina suddenly rushed to them, and let herself fall on a chair.

"I would like us to talk today," she announced. "I would like us to talk because I care and I want to know things and I have 15 minutes from now on to hear about your feelings."

The whole table was looking at her as she was gone mad.

"So Alex? Alex, you look thoughtful. I'm very interested to hear… I mean, what are your thoughts?" she asked the man to her left.

He looked at her with a strange glance continuing slurping his drink.

"Okay, Shepherd? What're you thinking about?" Cristina asked Helena. "Uhgh a child!" she added with a disgusted face before Helena could answer anything. "Izzie?"

"Okay, I think we're gonna leave," the black haired girl said standing up. "Say bye to everybody Abby."

"Bye everybody!" the little girl let out.

Addison was sitting at a table outside of the hospital, eating. Callie came out of the building, joining her. After a small arguing with Cristina about Hahn, the ortho surgeon sat down in front of her friend.

"Sorry about that. I mention I live with Yang now?" the woman asked. "What!?" Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked noticing her friends fixating gaze on her.

"Callie," the red-haired started with a very serious voice. "Are you speaking the vagina monologues now?"

"What?" Callie wondered smiling embarrassedly.

"I'm all for it, Ok? I think she's fantastic, Erica? I mean, she seems great."

"Wait, you want to know if Erica and I are a couple?" the ortho girl questioned.

"I really do like her, actually, I do," Addison pursue. "But are you?"

"Because I defended her to Yang?"

"Because you seem like a couple. A really happy couple."

"Um...Ok, that's….That's just….," Calli said confused. "That's insane, is what it is. I'm... I like penis. I mean, I'm a huge, huge fan of penis."

She started laughing hilarious as Addison nodded smiling.

"You've been living in Los Angeles way too long. Way too long."

In this time, Helena and Abby had reached the open space. Both sat down in the big staircase with a juice and a pack of sweets.

"So, did you enjoy the visit?" Helena asked the girl who was chewing her sweets.

"Yes," the girl smiled widely. "What I preferred was the wheelchair race in the hallway."

"Yeah it was pretty cool," the woman chuckled.

Deep inside something tightens. This little girl seemed so joyful and happy, how was it only possible that she could be an orphan within the few next days. She was still so innocent and fragile, she doesn't deserve that.

"Lena," Abby suddenly called.

The Shepherd girl turned to the child next to her.

"Am I gonna live with you when Mommy will have joined Daddy in the sky?" the little girl asked.

"I don't know honey," she answered shaking her head.

"The social care lady said that otherwise, I would live with a family with other children," the girl said. "But I want to live with you because you're a friend of my mommy!"

Helena smiled sadly.

"I'm not sure I'll be the right person to raise you."

"Why?" Abby asked staring at her with her big brown eyes.

"Because I never raised a child before and I don't know how to."

"Why don't you have any children?" the little girl asked.

Damn, why have children have to ask questions?

"Are you not in love with somebody?" Abby added.

"It's not that easy sweetie," the woman sighed. It's not only to be in love, there lot other things that play a role."

"I don't understand."

"You'll understand when you'll be older," Helena closed up.

The woman threw a quick glance at her watch.

"I'm sorry honey but I have to take you back to your mommy," she added.

The pair gets back to Anne's room. The blonde has woken up. Abby runs over to her mum and jumped on the edge of the bed.

"Mommy, Lena showed me the hospital," the girl said cheerfully.

"That's great honey," Anne said weakly between two coughs.

She looked over to Helena who was standing next to the door.

"Thank you, Helena," she added.

"It was a pleasure," the black-haired replied. "I have to go now, but I'll come back in the evening."

She was about to leave when Abby hold her back by pulling on the bottom of her blouse.

"That's for you," the little girl said with a big smile reaching her a piece of paper.

It was a drawing of her with the little girl sitting on the wheelchair.

"Thank you, honey," Helena said kneeling down to Abby. "Take care of your mum for me, would you?"

The little girl nodded vigorously.


	15. This is not a chapter

Hey guys, important mention: **this is not a chapter** I'm in the writing process of chapter 15 but it will take a bit more time because I am currently in my exam phasis in school, so not much time to write, sorry!

I wanted to thank you for being so many to follow this story, it's a real pleasure to be read.

I wanted to thank one reader in particular, the guest reader **Patsy** who is following the story since the first chapter, so Patsy if you read this, please know that I really appreciate every one of your comments. So thank you very much, I'll post the 15th as soon as its written.

Xoxo

anne_black1437


	16. Chapter 15

**Hello everybody,**

 **I know, I am really irregular with posting my chapters. I had a huge period of exams at school, but now it's over and I'm ready to continue. This chapter isn't amazing but it took time to write it.**

 **Hope you'll enjoy**

 **clemhood1437**

 **Answer to the reviews:**

 **Patsy: So happy that you're still following the story, hope the following will last your expectations. Kisses**

* * *

Chapter 15

Helena was casting a little boy's arm as Torres appeared in the pit, rushing over to her.

"I've been looking for you everywhere," she said plopping down on a chair next to the patient's bed.

"Sorry, I took a long break to visit a friend," the Shepherd girl apologize.

"Don't worry, there is not too much to do today," the ortho surgeon sais. "We can even go watch Addison's surgery later on if you'd like.

"I'd be glad to," she added smiling. "So young man," she said turning to her little patient," Next time you try to be more careful when you drive skateboard in the staircase of your house."

"Sure ma'am," the little boy said running over to his mother.

Helena watched him go smiling. Children could be such little sunshine.

"You do well with children," Torres said next to her.

"You think so?" the young doctor asked not very convincing. "I don't know if I am stable enough for that."

"What do you mean?" Callie asked surprised.

"There is this good friend of mine who asked me for this favor that I am probably not able to complete."

"Look, I'm pretty sure you'll make a great mother," the woman added.

Helena looked at her quite surprised.

"How do you know?" she asked.

"I've seen you with that little girl in the stairs, was right behind you," Callie chuckled. "A wheelchair race? Really?! Must've been really cool."

"It was," Helena said smiling brightly.

* * *

Helena was standing in the still empty gallery waiting for Addison's surgery. The first nurses were already readying the OR for the intervention. And what an intervention, an Ectopia Cordis. The babies heart is growing outside of its body, in utero. A complicated case that required a plastic surgeon, a cardio surgeon, and a neonatal surgeon, but also a handful of talented and skillful surgeon.

"I thought well to find you here," a voice said in her back.

Derek.

"What are you doing here?" she asked pretty annoyed, looking away from her brother.

"I'm watching the intervention, just like you."

"What do you want Derek?" she asked.

"Look Leny, I'm really sorry for what happened before. I'm sorry for having been so mad at you before," the neurosurgeon said plopping down on one of the chairs in the first row. "It's just that if I don't get even a little support of my own sister, then I really don't know."

He sighed deeply, running over his tired eyes with his hands.

"I really don't know what to do," he pursued.

Helena turned around, the arms folded over her chest.

"You think this is an easy situation for Meredith?! She really tries her best to get seriously involved with somebody and you just threw her away for an insignificant nurse," she said. "Women are complicated, you must know by the time and your experience."

She chuckled.

"What?" he wondered. "What is it you find so funny?"

"Nothing! Really, it's just that… you and Mark are really the same, you know," he added.

"What do you mean?" he asked puzzled.

"Both of you have a strange relationship with women. Look at you and Addison, and then him and Addison and now you and Mer."

The gallery slowly gets filled with the other surgeons and medical stuff interrupting the conversation between the two Shepherd. The intervention started without a problem.

* * *

Downside in the OR, Addison was chatting with her coworkers during the operation.

"So who's the new mystery woman that Derek's dating?" she asked cheerfully. "Who's the unlucky McRebound?" she chuckled.

Bailey threw her a side glance.

"What?" the red-haired exclaimed looking up to the gallery where Derek and Helena where watching. "Oh, is this whole "Mc" thing over now? Surely things haven't changed that much here?"

Bailey cleared her throat.

"Addison, the woman standing immediately to your right, the one handing you the surgical instruments..."

Addison looked to the stated direction. Rose was standing there.

"Hey!" she threw to the nurse.

"Hey!" the nurse added. "Six dates, heavy petting, lots of tongues. Good guy. Scalpel?" she asked.

Addison cleared her throat quite embarrassed.

* * *

"Awkward," Helena mumbled to her brother.

* * *

The intervention went further. It was now the point where the baby was about to be extracted.

"Go ahead," Addison directed to her team. "A little further. Good, keep him flat. Okay, got him. Karev?"

Alex carefully took the baby to the incubator for a check-up.

"Placenta looks good," the red-haired announced. "You're okay to close, Dr. Bailey?"

"Yep," the general resident called.

"Membrane's intact," Alex cleared from the other side of the room.

"Oh no! She's hemorrhaging," Bailey called as the machines started to beep rapidly. " This blood is moving a little to fast. I need another set of hands, here!"

Addison rushed over to the operation table.

"Her uterus isn't contracting," she noticed manipulating some tools. "Damn it!"

* * *

In the evening, Helena was standing in front of the bay window of the maternity ward, watching at the slew of newborn children in their cradle. They were all so sweet and still so innocent. All these children strangely reminded her of Abby, with the difference that most of them still had their parents alive and healthy. Since she first saw Anne again, her requirement runs in her head again and again in her head. Could she welcome that little girl in? Would she be able to raise a child alone? She didn't think so.

"They're super cute, aren't they?" a voice called in her back.

"Addison!" the woman sighed turning to face her friend. "Congratulation for the surgery. I'm glad it finally went well."

In fact, Addison managed to save the mother with the help of Bailey and Hahn, together with Alex and Mark managed to rebuild the skin flap around the baby's heart.

"The whole team has done a pretty great job," she said pulling off her cap. "Saving the baby was the most important part."

"Don't even try to denigrate your work Addy," Helena interrupted. "What you've done to save that woman was pretty impressive."

Both remained silent for a moment.

"I've heard about the story of your friend from Doctors Without Borders," the red-head suddenly said. "It's so sad."

"Yes, it is," the Shepherd girl sighed. "And guess what, she asked me to take care of her child after her death."

"What?! Do you mean like a godmother or something."

"No," Helena regained. "More like an adoptive mother or so!"

"Oh my god, honey!" Addison exclaimed. "It's so wonderful! You're gonna have a child!"

"I didn't give my answer yet," the Shepherd girl said leaning against the wall and slowly let herself slide to the cold floor. "I don't know if I am ready to take a child in. I'm kind of scared, Addy. Anne was there for me at a time where I really needed help and now I just feel useless 'cause I have this feeling I can't help her. But I don't want to disappoint her, you see?"

"I think you should open up to her and tell her about how you feel, she's a mother, she should understand that."

"You're probably right," the black-haired girl said standing up. "I should go tell her now! Thank you, Addy."

She kissed her friend on the cheek and went away!"

"You're welcome!"

And the Shepherd girl left. Addison glanced back at the babies.

"She's gonna be a wonderful surgeon," a voice said in her back.

The red-haired turned around to see Richard standing against the desk behind.

"You're surely right. She just has to choose a specialty yet. You'll have to watcher her when I'll be gone," the woman added.

"So you're sure about it?" the elder doctor asked folding the arms over his chest.

"I do miss some of this sometimes," Addison sighed looking back at the babies.

"You know I could put the paperwork through tonight, you could start work tomorrow," he added glancing down at her.

The woman let out a deep sigh.

"I needed to come back, to see that it was right to leave," she added smiling weakly. "You need to fill my position."

The chief looked away sighing. But somehow he knew she was right. He knew she wouldn't be coming back.

* * *

Helena was ready to go as her feets led her to Anne's room. She stood there, in the hallway for a few minutes, thinking about either going in or not. After some time, she took a deep breath and walked the few steps that separated her from her friend. As she walked in, the blond immediately looked up and a small smile appeared on her lips. Helena also immediately spotted Abby who was crouched on the armchairs, sleeping deeply.

"How do you feel?" the young doctor asked her friend.

Anne shook her head.

"Not better than before, but at least not worse," she said smiling weakly. "I'm just worried about her."

She said stretching out her pale arm to her daughter. Helena suddenly felt a strong sense of guilt came up. She felt bad for Anne, it was her fault that she was in that situation.

"Look, Helena, I understand that what I demand from you is really big but I just ask you to think about it," Anne said slowly, sitting up with difficulty. Helena sat down on one side of the bed and breath slowly.

"I thought about it, Anne. Really, I have," she added. "And...and… and I don't know what to say to you. I'm really sorry but I don't think I'll be able to take in your daughter."

Anne let herself fall back on her pillows, coughing loudly.

"Hey, hey, take it easy," the doctor said taking her hand. "Breath," she added calmly to her friend trying to calm her down. "Should I call the nurse for her to give you some more painkillers?"

"No, no please, Helena, it's fine," the blond said breathing heavily.

Helena kind of felt responsible for causing her friend that much pain.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" the black-haired woman asked.

"Yes, would you please call my sister?" Anne said sniffing loudly.

Helena noticed her eyes were filled with fat tears.

"Her number is in my handbag in the closet," the blond pursue. "She needs to get her before I die."

"Don't say that Anne," the Shepherd girl said. "You still have time."

"Don't do that Helena, please. You as a doctor should perfectly know that giving false hope to the patient is absolutely not correct."

Helena lowering her head.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I don't really know what else to do."

"Just call my sister please, the blond said turning her head away. "I'm tired I'd like to sleep now."

"Anne…," Helena tried.

"Leave," Anne concluded.

Helena stood slowly up, sighing. At the door, she stood still, looking back at her friend who was crying silently.

"I'm sorry," the black haired girl said before leaving the room with the head hanging low.

* * *

After having given a quick call to Lea, the older sister to Anne, who had been extremely saddened to learn about the bad health state of her sister, Helena quickly went changing in her normal clothes before joining the elevator. She had an appointment with James at Jo's bar in the evening and this time she would be on time. Although, she wasn't in the best mood right now. Her discussion with Anne remained in the back of her head. She felt so guilty for not helping her friend but she just wasn't able to do what Anne was waiting. The doors of the lift opened with the distinctive ding.

Derek was standing in the elevator.

"Hey you," he greeted her as she got in.

He immediately noticed that something was wrong.

"You're okay? Have you seen Anne?"

Helena nodded in the affirmative but remained silent.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked looking with a caring glance down at her.

"No," she answered as the door opened for the second time.

Meredith came in, barely looking at Derek and walking straight to the back of the square room.

At the next level, Addison walked in, clicking on the lobby button. As the doors were about to close, Rose stepped in, holding the door. Derek looked up to trade a quick glance with Meredith who finds a sudden interest in her shoes. What an awkward situation. The tension was tangible.

At the first floor, the door opened again. Mark was standing there. As he saw the five, the plastic surgeon let out a playful chuckle.

"Ooh…," he said stepping in between Derek and Rose. "I bet you wish you'd taken the stairs right about now," he whispered.

Derek chuckled nervously. The plastic surgeon then stepped behind next to Helena.

"You're alright Froggy?" he asked throwing an arm around her shoulders.

She nodded without saying anything.

* * *

As the group entered the bar, Meredith directly went to the desk, where Cristina was already sitting. Derek and Rose isolate together in a corner and Addison joined Dr. Hahn and Callie at a table. Helena remained alone with Mark at the entrance.

"So, do you want a drink?" he asked smiling.

The little woman nodded but her face remained neutral.

"Come on Leny, cheer up," he friend said pulling her along with him to the desk.

But she wasn't in the mood for laughing and joking, the only thing she wanted to do was to drink as much as possible to forget her encounter with Anne as soon as possible.

"A double whiskey for me please, Jo," Mark ordered. "And..."

"A vodka for me please Jo. And you can leave the bottle here," she added.

The bartender threw her a weird glance and then to Mark, who also looked at the woman with surprise.

"Come on Jo," the Shepherd girl said putting a wad of banknotes on the desk.

Sighing, Jo put the whole bottle on the desk. Helena quickly fills up her glass and drank the shot quickly.

"Wow, slow down Froggy," her friend chuckled.

Both joined Abby, Hahn, and Callie who were talking actively.

"Any of you ladies want to dance," Mark asked.

"Ugh!" the red-haired sighed loudly. "For the thousandth time, the answer is no, Mark!"

"Beat it, Sloan," Hahn told.

"I'll dance with you," Torres said quickly standing up.

Both walked away as Helena sat down next to them.

"Dr. Shepherd," Hahn greeted her. "I'd be pleased to know more of the sister of the famous McDreamy."

"Do you plan to drink the whole?" Addison asked as the younger Shepherd put the bottle on the table and filled her glass again.

"Yep!" Helena answered swallowing another shot.

"I get the table with Anne didn't go well," the red-haired added.

"Nope, but let's not talk about it now okay?" the black-haired girl said filling up her glass another time.

The three woman remained silent for a moment. Hahn look was focused on Callie who was dancing stuck and tight with Mark.

"She's pretty, huh?" Addison teased.

"She's beautiful," the head of cardio nodded.

"OMG, you're totally into her!" exclaimed owning the looks of a few people sitting around them.

But Hahn didn't object. She even looked a little disappointed as Callie took Mark to the bathroom to do God knows what.

At this moment, the tinkling of the small bell at the entrance be heard and James entered the crowded place.

"There he is!" Helena said loudly waving over the crowd.

"He's pretty handsome, honey," Addison whistle. "Nice pick!"

The black haired girl smiled brightly as he stepped closer.

"Hey, hunk!" Helena said throwing her arms around his neck.

Surprised, James softly hugged her back. Addison, who was still sitting on her chair right behind, spoke up.

"You must be the famous James I heard so much about. I'm Addison, her friend from Los Angeles, she is more than just tipsy like you can see and you should probably take her back home."

"You're probably right," the man said looking down to the small woman who was still in his arms. "Come on princess, let's get you home," he said picking her up from the ground and caring her bridal style to the door.

"Is she okay?" Derek asked coming nearer with a glass of whiskey in the hand.

Addison looked up to her former husband.

"She had a long day, so James took her back to his apartment," she said, standing up from her stool and paid her order.

"Take care of her okay?" the woman said turning back to Derek.

"So you won't stay?" he asked. "You go back to LA?"

"Yep, it felt like the right thing to do."

* * *

Meredith was sitting at the bar, alone. Cristina had gone home, tired and angry at Hahn. She spotted Addison standing up.

"You're leaving already?" she asked.

"I have a plane to catch," she said putting on her coat.

She was ready to leave but suddenly decided to move back.

"I walk on the beach now. I buy aromatherapy candles. I'm very Zen," the red-haired said to Meredith calmly. "But I want to kick your ass so bad right now, it's killing me."

"Excuse me?" the younger woman asked astonished.

"I'm talking about Derek," Addy continued. "Derek Christopher Shepherd. Are you letting him get away? Because I swear to God, Meredith. If you let him ride off into the sunset with that doe-eyed little thing."

And she turned around. Meredith sat back alone at the bar with her tequila. Maybe Addison was right. Maybe she shouldn't let Derek get away. She glanced at the corner of the room where he and Rose were coiled in each other's arms. The jealousy in her veins makes her blood boil. It should be her. She should be the one with him.


	17. Chapter 16

**Hello guys,**

 **I am really sorry for posting so irregularly. I am now in my summer vacations so I have much more time to write I'll try to continue posting a chapter a week from now on. I can't promise anything but I really try to.**

 **Following the series plot, we're currently at the end of season 4.**

 **Like always, I don't own anything you might recognize from the show, I still love receiving reviews from you all dear viewers.**

 **The answer to the reviews:**

 **patsy: I am sooooo happy that you're still here, reviewing every chapter**

 **Taffyrose: I am overjoyed that you like my OC, she's mainly inspired of a good friend of mine**

 **XOXO and please please please please please...**

 **Enjoy the reading**

* * *

Chapter 16

In the next few days, Helena kind of made it an obsession to avoid Anne. She felt so sorry for her friend but she couldn't help but think that it was the right decision.

Lots of things happened since Addison's visit to Seattle. First, Derek and Meredith's trial on the brains didn't work quite as well as they hoped, multiple shots of patients continued dying. The bottle of champagne that was waiting for their first success was still in the fridge of the resident's room. Then Cristina was completely down because of Hahn turning her continually down. Alex first learned that Rebecca, or Awa, or whoever this woman is, was pregnant but Izzie turned him down, saying that she was just making a transfer on her precedent pregnancy. Now he stayed at Meredith taking care of her, not really knowing what to do. And Derek had decided to sell the land where he had planned to build his house with Meredith.

Concerning Helena, her relation with James had improved quite quickly. She had now moved nearly all her stuff to his apartment and she now spends her entire time outside her work with him.

She felt James shift next to her. He was sleeping peacefully, his head hidden under his pillow, the musculature of his back exposed to her. Helena smiled. He was so nice and so gentle with her, just the contrary of Ryan to every point. James was the perfect boyfriend she always had dreamed of. But maybe he was too perfect.

The piercing bell of her phone made her stop mulling over. James moaned loudly as she picked up.

"Alex?" she asked surprised. "You're okay?"

"Yeah," the man muttered. "I won't attend to work today. Have to take care of Rebecca. Can you check over my post-ops today? Izzie is taking over the other cases."

"Sure," the black-haired nodded throwing her blankets back and walking to the closet. "I'll cover for you."

"Thanks, Len'," Alex said. "I have to hang up, Rebecca doesn't want to eat."

"Okay," the woman added. "See you, Alex."

"Bye Len'," the man said pulling off.

"Who was it?" James asked sitting up in the bed.

"Alex," she answered picking up jeans and a t-shirt from the floor and quickly putting them on. "I have to go to the hospital."

"Do you want me to drive you?" he asked.

"Thank you for the offer, but you should take advantage of your Saturday morning. By the way, Mark has offered to pick me up," Helena said pushing him back in his pillows with a kiss. "I'll try to quit early today."

"I'll pick you up then," he added.

"Sure."

"Dress warmly, it snowed again last night," he advised to her as she disappeared in the hallway.

In fact, within the last weeks, Seattle had been covered with a heavy and thick white coat. Winter was coming.

A few minutes later, Helena walked back to the room, wrapped in a huge blue parka with some fat stuffed boots at her feet. James burst out in laughter.

"You look like a small blue snowball," he joked.

"Yeah, very funny," she said sarcastically. "I have to go now," she added. "See you later!"

"Love you!" he called her behind.

The woman walked back to the entrance, stuffed her hands in a pair of some warm wool gloves, took her purse and left the warmth of the apartment to the coolness of the outside. The street was covered in some kind of brown molten mud making it look even more ugly and dark. Mark was waiting for her, sitting on his motorbike a few steps away. Carefully, she crossed the sidewalk covered by a layer of ice, taking care not to swipe.

"Good morning," Mark greeted her happily.

"Hey," she greeted tasking the helmet he was giving her.

She put it on and got on the motorbike right behind him.

"By the way, you look like a big blue snowball," he said laughing, earning him a dark look from the woman.

"I get it, someone is in a bad mood," he said. "Did Mr. Perfect pissed you off?"

"No," she answered bluntly. "Now can you drive, I don't want to be late."

He sighed and pulled out.

* * *

A bit later this morning, Meredith, George, Izzie, and Cristina were chatting in the open space as Helena joined them. The Shepherd girl immediately noticed the cheerful behavior of Mer's best friend

"What is happening?" she asked pulling down a pile of files on the desk.

Cristina had started a small joy dance before pulling something out of her pocket.

"Meredith gave me the sparkle pager," she cheered shaking the red and white sparkling object through the air.

"What?" The blond exclaimed.

"She needed it for her mojo," Meredith tried to explain.

"Ever think I might need it?" Izzie continued outraged.

"You'd waist it," Cristina added. "I need it to get out of under Hahn. I won't have to beg her for OR time if I have the pager. She's not gonna teach me, I'll teach myself."

"She's gonna use it for evil," the blond protests. "I...I would use it to do good. And besides, the pager is sacred. Sacred sparkle, you cant just give it away. She can't do that," she added toward the others.

"I don't think it's transferable," the black haired chuckled.

"It isn't," George added from the corner.

"You don't make rules," Cristina sassed.

"But I am the chiefs intern," the boy replied.

"You mean, you're the checks bitch," Helena added raising an eyebrow.

"And you have no power. Because the power...is in the pager," Cristina added walking away smirking happily.

George lowered his head as his pager started to beep.

"That's the chief with something important and powerful to do," George mumbled before leaving quickly.

* * *

A bit later, Helena was reading over some patients files as a voice in her back called her name.

"Ms. Shepherd?"

"Do I know you?" The doctor asked without looking at her documents.

The woman had a strong French accent.

"No, but you have to know my big sister. She's a patient of this hospital."

Helena slowly looked up. In front of her was standing a young woman, about 20 years old, with long blond locks. She had cold grey eyes, but they were so swollen that it was clear she had cried. But that look, Helena recognized her immediately.

"Oh my god, you must be Anne's sister," she realized.

She was quite surprised. She knew about Anne's sister, she just didn't expect her to be so young. The girl looked pretty uncomfortable.

" I'm Mia," she said.

"Is everything okay with Anne?" Helena asked.

"Uhm," Mia nodded. "But it's not about that I wanted to talk actually. I wanted to talk to you about Abby. I know you already told my sister that you couldn't take her in. But you have to understand that she will end up in a foster family otherwise. Anne had really hoped you could take care of her, what will be much better for Abby 'cause, you knew both of her parents and everything..."

"Look, Mia, I'm really sorry, but like I already told your sister, I am probably not the best person to take care of her," Helena tried to explain. "I am really extremely sorry, but can't help you with that."

She grabbed her files and quickly took a few steps away.

"I hope Anne will be fine," she stated shortly turning back to the young woman.

* * *

Derek and Rose were sitting in front of a display showing a scan.

"See, the cytoplasmic viral particles in the malignant cells but not in the normal tissue," he explained.

"No idea what you're saying but, but it sounds brilliant," the nurse chuckled nervously playing with her hair. "Boring but brilliant."

"You wanted us to spend more time together," Derek countered.

"I meant to movies or ball games," Rose protests. "But a clinical trial is just as good."

Suddenly, Meredith burst into the room with some files.

"Hey," she greeted the two.

"Hey," the neurosurgeon said smiling up at her.

He looked down on her files.

"Combining the FR1904 and trichostatin increases the expression of the virus in the tumor," he stated.

"Introduce them during the M phase of the cell cycle," Meredith added.

The nurse looked quite confused.

"See, she understands how brilliant you are," Rose replied.

"Okay, so Jeremy West is patient number 12, and patient 13 is Beth Monroe," the woman continued without really taking care of the nurse. "Jeremy is suffering from grand mal seizures, Beth is paralyzed on the right side. Who do you want to meet first?"

"Jeremy's surgery's today, Beth's isn't until tomorrow," Derek stated.

"They're pretty young," Meredith added.

"Yeah, which makes them resilient," he concluded standing up and following the blond girl.

"Okay, bye," Rose called behind.

She sighed deeply.

"Clinical trial, fun."

"You know you'll never replace her, don't you?" a voice stated from the corner of the room.

The pretty nurse looked up to her boyfriend's sister pressed against the doorframe, arm crossed over her chest.

"What do you mean?" she asked dupe.

"Are you really blind? Or are you that stupid?" she added plopping down on the seat her brother occupied a few minutes before. "You seem to be a nice girl, so I have to be clear with you. Meredith and Derek are meant to be together. And think you're smart enough to have noticed that too.

"So what do you expect me to do? Let him go with her without looking back?" she asked.

"Yes actually," Helena nodded. "Don't take me wrong Rose, I'm sure there's somebody out there somewhere for you, it's just not my brother."

She stood up, ready to leave.

"Thank you, Helena," the nurse said making the young surgeon turn around.

"What for?" she asked puzzled.

"For being honest with me," she continued.

* * *

In the early afternoon, Helena decided to take a break to pay a visit to Alex at Meredith's. She was quite worried about her friend since Rebecca had come back again. First, she had appeared stating that she was carrying a child who eventually was from Alex. The young man was reluctant at first but accepted it lately getting accustomed to the fact of having a baby. However, Izzie had discovered that the new pregnancy was a pure invention of the woman and that she had even forgotten she already had a baby. Rebecca sank into a deep depression were Alex was adamant to take care of her.

Helena parked her car in front of the house. She quickly climbed the few steps up to the front door and knocked. Getting no answer, she pushed the door open.

"Alex?" she called in the house.

No reply.

"Alex?!" she called louder up the stairs.

"In the living room," she heard her friend called from a distant room of the house.

Helena quickly found her friend sitting on the couch, next to a tired and ill were looking Rebecca. Her dirty hair was sticking to her sweaty face and she had big bags under her eyes. Alex looked up as Helena entered the room but Rebecca's glance stay focused on the TV, or so Helena thought.

"How is she?" Helena asked as Alex stood up and walked next to her.

"What do you think?" the man asked. "She eats or drinks close to nothing, she barely speaks and she stays prostrated all day looking into the void! I seriously don't know what to do."

"Have you…," she cleared her throat "Have you thought of some sort of psych consult?" she whispered to her friend.

"You think she's crazy don't you?" he exclaimed.

"Alex, I'm sorry," Rebecca suddenly said in a whisper.

Alex turned his head toward his girlfriend.

"What?" he asked sitting back down next to her.

"I think...I wet my pants," Rebecca mumbled in a nearly inaudible and shaky voice.

"Oh," Alex replied surprised. "Oh, that's, uh… that's okay."

"I'll do better. I promise."

"Don't worry about it. You're doing fine," he leaned down to kiss her head. "Come on."

He took her hand and stood up.

"You'll better go," Alex said to Helena walking past her. "I'll get her clean up."

Helena nodded. But she knew that somehow she had to be right. Rebecca was unstable and incontinent, she wasn't able to stay alone without a medical or psychological supervision anymore. But Alex didn't seem to be very fond of that idea. Sighing, she decided to leave the house and return to the hospital.

She was about to turn on the engine of her car as her phone suddenly rang.

"Meredith?" she picked up reading her friends name on the screen.

"They shut our trial down, Helena!" she heard Meredith announce panicked.

"What?"

"The IRB, the national board that oversees and reviews several clinical trials," the young woman continued. "We had 11 deaths, they're giving us one last patient. We have 'till midnight to operate, that deadline exceeded and it's out. But the problem is we admit two new patients for the trial today, this young couple, they're still teenagers and they love each other. How can we possibly choose one of them and not the other, that's horrible, that's...that's."

"Wow, slow down Mer," Helena interrupted. "Breath."

She heard her friend trying to control her respiration.

"I don't know how to tell Derek," her friend continued. "This trial is his proud."

Helena was thinking.

"Helena? Still there?" Meredith questioned.

"Yes, yes, I was just thinking. And if you move both surgeries forward."

"What do you mean? The girl's surgery is planned for tomorrow."

"Move it to this afternoon," Helena submit. "Fit them both in before midnight."

"You think it'll work?" Grey asked.

"Just ask Derek."

"Thank you a lot, Helena."

* * *

Later that day, after having arranged a moment of intimacy for the two young lovers, Derek and Meredith were standing in front of a patient room, guarding the door.

"I have never in my life gotten a patient laid, much less two patients," Derek chuckled.

"It's really sweet," the woman smirked.

The small and passionate moans coming from the room made them both smile.

"They're so in love," Meredith sighed leaning her head back against the wall.

"Oh, yeah," the neurosurgeon nodded.

"It's all new and fresh and exciting," the brown-haired continued.

"I've never been a fan of new," the man said turning to her. "I like to know the person, their bodies, what make them moan," he continued with a juicy voice, slowly leaning forward to look her straight in the eyes.

But their deep eye connection was suddenly interrupted by the worried calls of Beth's parents.

"Something happens? Beth isn't in her room," her mother stated with clear worries in her shaky voice.

"Oh, well, that's because I had my interns take her down for a pre-op MRI," Meredith lied.

"Thank God," the patient's father replied. "I was afraid she was lying somewhere in pain."

"No, she's not in any pain," Derek added with a small smile.

"We should go to the conference room, there's paperwork you haven't filled out," Meredith told the parent.

"Thank you," both answered with tears in their eyes.

Meredith lead them away, throwing a last glance back at Derek.

"I'll be here, doing my thing," he added.

He leaned back against the door frame. Meredith was really a good person.

"What makes them moan? Seriously?"

Derek looked up. His sister was standing behind a desk and had apparently overheard the entire discussion.

"You're spying on me now?" he asked walking over to her, keeping although an eye on the door.

"When it comes to you and Meredith, I allow myself lots of things," she said crossing her arms over her chest. "But more seriously, I think you should talk to Rose," she pursues.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Derek, not to me, you're my brother and I think I am still able to tell when you're in love with someone. Open your eyes, man. You're certainly not in love with Rose, I still don't get why you both got together in first place."

"We already had this discussion, haven't we?" her brother said sighing.

"But it's clear you have feelings for Meredith, even a three years old trisomic monkey would see it."

Derek stroke over his face with his hands sighing loudly.

"Seriously Leny, don't you have better things to do than to analyze my mess of a love life," he said walking away angrily.

* * *

Helena was waiting in the gallery over the OR for Meredith and Derek's intervention to start. She was hidden in the dark of the room, observing the two ex-lovers getting prepared.

"You're nervous?" the girl asked.

"I have my ego to keep me warm," the awesome doctor chuckled.

"Can't you feel it?" Meredith questioned.

"What?"

"The majesty of lifesaving," she added smiling brightly behind her mask, with the sparkle in her eyes.

"When did you become an optimist?" Derek inquired.

"Selling your land," she replied.

"Trying to move forward," he pursues.

"So am I."

This two was impossible. It was crystal clear that the two of them were still in love with each other, why couldn't they just notice it and live their happily ever after until death they part?

Suddenly, her pager started to beep. It was Richard paging her with a special code. Anne, Helena thought immediately. And she speeds outside of the gallery. Running in the hallway, she tried her best to avoid the patients, visitors and staff members that crossed her way. Her heart was beating fast and furious. As she arrived in the hallway of her friend's room, she spotted a handful of nurses running into the room. As she got nearer, she could listen to the hectically talk inside.

"We have to take her to the OR now!" a nurse was saying. "Her heart rate is expediting!"

"Prepare OR 3, we're coming up immediately," Webber instructed.

"She's not breathing anymore Doctor," another nurse called.

The chief of surgery spotted Helena waiting outside.

"She's in a really critical state," he stated watching her questioning glance. "If we don't do anything right now, she'll die within the next few minutes."

Helena nodded. Her friend was lying on the bed, the eye closed, the blond hair spread on the pillow and she was looking even paler than before.

"Go save her Ricard," she called to the older surgeon as he disappeared in the lift.

"My mommy is dying," a small voice called down next to her.

"Oh my God, Abby!"

Helena picked the little girl up, whose eyes were filled with fat big tears.

"Dr. Webber is trying to save her," she said with a voice that she wished was comforting.

"I don't want my mommy to die," Abby cried throwing her small arms around the surgeon's neck.

"Me neither honey, me neither," Helena said holding the girl closer.


	18. Chapter 17

**Hey guys, I finally managed to post this chapter exactly a week after the previous, maybe I'll manage to continue. In the next chapter,** **you'll see the first appearance of a character of the next seasons, I personally like him, though not his beginning in the show and not in his first relationship.**

 **Hope you still enjoy**

 **XOXO**

 **anne_black1437**

 **Answers:**

 **Pasty: thanks again honey to continue to read my fanfiction, what would I do without you? Kisses**

* * *

Chapter 17

Waiting. The wait. Probably the most awful thing that could've existed. Now she understands what patients were feeling awaiting a diagnosis, without knowing whether they will live or not. Or what loved ones were feeling knowing if the person they care of will survive or not.

Helena was sitting in the waiting room for what it feels like hours now. After Anne had been taken to the OR about an hour ago, this young surgeon had taken Abby outside where the girl had cried the shit out of herself. When she had calm down, both took place in the waiting area in the open space, quickly joined by Anne's sister.

A mix of feelings was mushed up in the Shepherd girl's head. First of all, she felt powerless, knowing that her friend was lying on the operation table between life and death and that she couldn't help her. Somehow she was also really angry at herself first but also against the entire situation. It was so unfair, Anne was a marvelous person and a wonderful mother. She had already had enough tragic event beyond herself and had absolutely not deserved that.

"Lena, when can we see mommy?" a small voice asked next to her, interrupting her way of thinking.

She turned to face the girl who was sitting on the seat next to her, her huge teddy bear firmly tight in her small arms.

"Not now, honey," Helena said signing.

She threw a desperate glance in the direction of Mia. The young woman was fallen asleep on the seats on the other side of the waiting area. She wouldn't be of any help right now.

"See, the doctors are taking care of your mommy to try to make her feel better," she tried to explain so that Abby could understand it.

"But she will be better, won't she?" the little girl asked with her big eyes filled with hope.

"I hope so honey," Helena said sighing. "I hope so."

* * *

Izzie was waiting in the pit for Alex to arrive. She was as worried as one could be. About half an hour ago she had called her friend to have some updates over Rebecca's state and then, he abruptly hung off. After that, she sends her a quick text to tell her they were on the way to the hospital. And now Izzie was impatiently waiting, without knowing what had happened. She sighed deeply, stamping her feet impatiently. And suddenly, the automatic doors of the pit opened and Alex appeared, dragging Rebecca with him, the poor girl was covered in blood.

"What happened?" the blonde asked pressing trying to help her friend.

"I need betadine, saline, and a suture kit!" Alex shouted out in the pit.

"Alex! What happened?!" Izzie repeated louder.

"She cut herself," the man explained sitting Rebecca down on a bed. "It as an accident. I've got this."

"How much blood has she lost?" the blond continued focused on her job.

She took one of Rebecca's bloody arms and immediately noticing the bandage around the girl's wrists.

"Alex," she sighed.

"She's fine. I've got this," he threw pulling the curtain close angrily to cut her out.

* * *

After the bitter failure of the last intervention as part of the trial, leading to the death of Jeremy, their 12th patient, Meredith, and Derek went to announce the bad news to his girlfriend. The poor girl was devastated. But no nevertheless, Beth had decided that she still wanted the surgery, much to the dismay of her parents, but also of Derek who wasn't convinced of the possible outcome. For him, it wasn't safe to perform the surgery. Meredith, in contrast, tried to convince the parents that there were no other clinical trials and that no one else had any answers and that the surgery might be Beth's only option.

After that tumultuous discussion, the two surgeons walked straight out of the room, Derek seemed pretty angry.

"We'll get it right with Beth," Meredith tried to convince him.

"She just lost the love of her life. How could you encourage her to do the surgery?" he asked.

"How could you encourage her not to?" Meredith questioned.

"You know, it's not me with the big ego, it's you," he said letting the file he was holding fall down in the desk loudly.

"You backed me into a corner there. What was I supposed to do? To say no?"

"Derek!" the women protested.

"I can't. She's a kid."

"She's a kid who's gonna die without the surgery."

"She'll die with this surgery. That's what you and I do together. We kill things over and over and over again. We've killed 12 people, and now because of you, I will kill a 13th. When the surgery's over, we've done. I don't wanna work with you, I don't wanna see you, I don't wanna talk to you. We're done!"

And he grabbed his file, walking away without looking back, leaving Meredith alone and shocked.

* * *

Alex was taking care of Rebecca who hadn't said a word since he brought her in.

"This arm's almost bandaged, then we're gonna move to the other one, ok?" he said cutting into a piece of a bandage.

"Okay," she said weakly looking straight in front of her.

"I prescribed her Alprazolam and Clonazepam," Izzie said standing behind Alex sighing. "Psych will but down, but it'd be good to keep her calm until they get here."

"She doesn't need any drugs or any psych," Alex cut her in standing up.

"Actually, she needs a psych consult to be admitted," the blonde added.

"I'm not admitting her," Alex protest.

"You're not taking her home," Izzie warned him.

"I was watching her every minute 'till you called," he reproached her.

"You shouldn't have to watch her every minute. You're not on today so she was admitted under my name, which means I get to decide the treatment plan. She needs to be put on hold…"

"Damn it!" Alex shouted interrupting her. "Would you leave us alone you stupid bitch!"

And then he turned back to take care of Rebecca.

* * *

After the fight with Meredith, Derek had fled into the prep room to get ready for the intervention. He was far from being pleased with the situation he was brought into. He exhaled deeply.

"I think I liked it better when you were saying boring science stuff," Rose, who was standing behind him the entire time suddenly said.

Derek laughed softly.

"I'm never good enough," he mumbled. "No matter what I say or what I do. I never wanted to do this. This clinical trial is making me a failure. I failed her over and over and over."

"You mean _"them"_ ," Rose continued after a small silence.

"What?" Derek asked turning to her without understanding.

"When you say, _"fail her"_ you mean, _"fail them"_ , right?" she asked with a pitiful look in the eyes. "The patients?"

Derek looked really sorry and lowered his glance to the ground.

"That's what I thought," the pretty nurse stated walking into the OR with tears in her eyes.

* * *

Shortly after that, Derek goes himself into the OR, Beth was already laying on the table.

"You don't have to do this, you know?" he said leaning down to the girl.

"Come on. What are you, scared?" she asked smirking as they injected her in the anesthetic.

"Yes," he admits.

"Me, too," she confessed losing her smile a little. "So let's just leap. Okay?"

A smile appeared behind Derek's mouth protection as he nodded.

The assistant then puts the oxygen mask over the girls face. She inhaled deeply.

* * *

A bit later, Mia had taken her little niece to get something to eat. Helena was still sitting in the waiting area with a coffee, tapping nervously with her feet on the ground.

"You're okay?"

Helena looked up surprised. A teenage girl with straight long brown hair and deep chocolate eyes. She looked nice.

"I'm sorry, my name is Lola," she said sitting down next to her and stretching her hand out.

"Helena," she said shaking the hand with a weak smile. "It's just that I am not really used to be on the other side. I am a surgeon in this hospital," she added seeing the girl didn't seem to understand. "Who are you waiting for?" she then asked.

"A friend of mine," the girl said lowering her head. "Something stupid happened."

She seemed pretty embarrassed, nearly ashamed.

"Tell me," Helena encouraged her.

"Lola, what're you doing," two boys who were sitting not far away called loudly. "Come, we're going!"

They were about the same age as the girl, though they didn't seem quite as affected as her.

"I'm sorry, they're my friends, I have to go," she said standing up.

Izzie came rushing into this room.

"Helena, I really, really, really need your help," she said letting herself fall down on the seat Lola had released.

"About what?" the Shepherd girl asked surprised.

"Alex," the blonde replied. "He brought Rebecca in."

"What?! But Why?"

"She tried to kill herself, and now he wants to take her home."

"But she needs to be admitted and she probably needs a psych consult too," Helena stated.

"That's what I told Alex, but he just won't listen to me," Izzie muttered desperately. "I don't know what to do."

"Look, she's your patient, right? He's… well, her loved one, he doesn't have anything to say. Do what you think is best for her, for her health."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, you're the doctor, you know your job, right?"

"Thank's, Helena, really."

"No problem."

As the blond walked away, Richard walked out of the restricted area, making Helena immediately jump up on her feet.

"How is she?" she asked worriedly.

"The first part of the procedure went without further complication, we discover some more metastatic tissue, but it was foreseeable," the elder doctor explained. "I'm directly heading back in to pursue the operation."

"What are her chances?" the black haired girl asked.

"You know I don't like to give false hopes, so you should get prepared to the worst happening soon," he said padding her shoulder. "I'm sorry Shepherd."

How was she gonna tell Mia and Abby?

* * *

Meredith and Rose were in the scan room, checking over some films.

"Are those Beth's films?" the nurse asked.

"Yes," Meredith nodded. "These are from two days ago and this one is from today. Would you hand me the calipers, please."

Rose quickly went to hand her the tool. Meredith put the calipers on the films, check the size of the tumor, comparing them both.

A bright smile appeared on her face.

"This one is smaller than that one," she said pointing on today's films. "Means the tumor is shrinking. The virus is working."

"Oh, my God," Rose laughed as the other one smiled proud and happy.

"You have to go and tell Derek," she added.

"No. You have to tell Derek," the pretty black haired girl replied with a weak but honest smile. "It's the kind of news he's want to hear from you."

And she walked away to the door.

"Rose," Meredith called to hold her.

"Congratulations on your major medical breakthrough, Dr. Grey," the nurse said holding the door. "It's the stuff of legends."

And she walked out of the room.

* * *

After that long and exhausting day, Mark and Callie were heading out of the hospital building.

"So you want to finish what we started yesterday?" the ortho surgeon asked her friend with a meaningful look.

"Or you can finish what you started," he added looking straight in front of them.

Erica was turning over her bag over a bench a few feets away, obviously looking for something.

"I'm growing," he added as she threw him a questioning look. Go, get her!"

And he walked back inside the building.

* * *

Helena was sitting on the playground watching Abby playing with some toy cars. Both seemed rather unstressed.

"Helena," Mia suddenly called.

The youngest Shepherd raised her eyes. Richard is standing there, his cap between his shaky hands. Helena stood slowly up, Abby tightly clinging to her legs….

* * *

Callie was starring with insistence at Erica. Her gaze wanders down to her lips. She slowly leans closed and puts her lips on hers…

* * *

George and Lexie were in their crappy apartment. George was happily announcing that he was retaking his intern test and she thanked Lexie a hundred times by pulling her closer pressing their lips together…

* * *

Alex is sitting on his bed at Meredith's, the eyes fill with tears. Izzie came in, telling him how sorry she is about Rebecca. Alex lean closer in an attempt to kiss her, he begged until she allows themselves a passionate kiss…

* * *

Derek was running into the trolley, their bottle of champagne in the hand.

"Meredith?" he called tearing the doorway open.

It was empty. He climbed out, disappointed until he noticed a lighting coming from a piece of land, their piece of land, right there where he had planned to build their house. He walked closer. Meredith was mumbling for herself surrounded by candles drawing the sketches of their house on the ground.

"Stupid, corny, idiotic. I cannot believe I did this. Stupid loser. Son of a… I could be home instead of…," she scoffs. "Stupid brain man!"

"Meredith," he interrupts her with the hint of a smile.

"Where have you been?" she shouted. "I've been waiting and waiting for you, and I did this stupid, embarrassing, humiliating, corny thing, and I was just gonna tell you that this over there is our kitchen, and this is our living room, and that's the room where our kids could play. I had this thing, "I wanna build a house", but I don't build houses. I am a surgeon. And now I am feeling like a lame-ass loser. I got all whole and healed, and you just don't show up. It's ruined because you took so long. And I couldn't even final that bottle of champagne."

With a bright smile, Derek pulled the said bottle out of his coat. He slowly stepped into the candle frame.

"The living room?" he asked. "Little small. I think the view is much better from here. And that's the room where the kids are gonna play?"

He chuckled.

"Where's our bedroom?" he questioned.

"I'm still mad at you, and I don't know if I trust you. I want to, but I don't know if I do, I'm just gonna try. I'm gonna try and trust you."

With each word, she took a step drawing nearer of Derek.

"I believe that we can be extraordinary together rather than ordinary apart, and I wanna be…"

She was suddenly interrupted by Derek softly pressing his lips against hers…

* * *

Mark entered the waiting area, in the hope to see Helena. He didn't see her since the whole thing with her friend Anne happened.

Since she was together with that man, James, he nearly hadn't seen her at all. He didn't saw her at first, but then he saw a shadow hidden behind a row of seats.

"Froggy?" he asked.

She looks up but didn't reply. Her face was devastated by tears. Her eyes were all puffy and red. He sat down next to her.

"She's dead Mark," she sobbed leaning her head against his shoulder. "Anne is dead."

"I'm sorry Helena," he replied squeezing her hand.

He never called her Helena until it was really serious, like that very moment.

"She died without knowing my decision," she cried out.

"What decision?" he asked unsurely. "About the whole thing about taking her girl in?"

She nodded.

"I decided to adopt her."

"We'll be here to help you, I promise. I'll be here to help you, you can count on that."

* * *

 **I personally don't like it when I read a fanfiction cause I'd like to imagine the OC by myself but here is the casting of the actors I would portray as my invented characters:**

 **\- Abigail Spencer (as a mid-twenty year old woman) as Helena Shepherd - BTW does anyone know the TV show Timeless?**

 **\- Mélanie Laurent (a marvelous French actress who plays in many American and British movies) as Anne Beckett**

 **\- Mackenzie Foy (as a five-year-old) as Abby Beckett**

 **\- Matt Lanter (also an actor from Timeless) as James Ford**

 **Tell me what do you think, if you'd protrayed somebody else...**


End file.
